Earlier today we brought up some less-than gentlemanly behavior going on at PwC Ireland. However, that wasn't the first story of misuse of email coming from the Emerald Isle. You may recall a few bros at KPMG asking for some assistance winning a trip to Whistler, which was received with mixed reviews in the States. Anyway! Now comes the story – courtesy of our sister from another mister, Dealbreaker – about another KPMG associate maybe not using the best judgment, sharing his plans for putting the moves on a special lady friend with his mate over firm email. From: Ian [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 10:24 To: John [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed Good night on wed man. Good old craic. Any luck with the ladies Kind Regards, Ian [redacted] Financial Services Audit 2 Harbourmaster Place IFSC Dublin ____________________________________________________________________________ From: John [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 10:28 To: Ian [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed Was a very good night. Got very messy in the end. No luck with the ladies. Had my eyes on this one girl, [redacted]. Some piece of work. But bottled it in the end _________________________________________________________________________________ From: Ian [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 10:45 To: John [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed I know the one your talking about alright. Shes friends with one of my mates in my year. Seems like a nice girl. Gonna chance it next time _____________________________________________________________________________ From: John [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 11:24 To: Ian [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed Definiately going to stick the head in next time. Falling behind on this whole k score thing. Need to get on board. Shes top notch in fairness What u reckon? ______________________________________________________________________________ From: Ian [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 11:40 To: John [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed Ya, sure go for it if you like her _____________________________________________________________________________ From: John [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 11:48 To: Ian [redacted] Subject: RE: Wed Alright next thurs, im gonna stick the head in. Just wait for the right moment. (When shes drunk) and she cant say no. Got this unreal technique for scoring aswel, called the whisper. I pretend im whispering in her ear and when shes not looking I just kiss her. The element of surprise throws then off and BOOM. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ From: Ian [redacted] Sent: 22 October 2010 12:04 To: [the girl] Subject: Wed Hey [girl], Thought id give u the heads up about this chap John here. Think he has some serious plans for you __________________________________________________________________________ From: [everyone who was forwarded this] To: [everyone they know] Subject: read from the bottom up!!!
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KPMG Silicon Valley Office Dangles “November Jeans Month” To Help Boost Poor Employee Survey Response Rate
Last week John Veihmeyer asked everyone at KPMG to share their thoughts on what the firm does well but also what the firm can do to improve its awesomeness.
Well, apparently some of you in the Silicon Valley office didn’t get the hint. Your pathetic response rate of 23% (as of this writing) has some people worried that you’re not taking this shit serious. In order to get you to spring into action, the office honchos have dangled two carrots in the form of five lucky ducks winning a $200 AMEX gift card but the big opportunity here is the possibility (albeit a longshot) for wearing denim EVERY SINGLE DAY in the month of November.
2010 Employee Work Environment Survey & Jeans Month!
INTERNAL USE ONLY
As you know, the 2010 Employee Work Environment Survey is underway and will run through Monday, October 25.
The Silicon Valley Office currently has a 23% response rate.
If you have not already responded, I encourage you to do so as your feedback helps us to identify our strengths and our weaknesses and provides us with ideas on how we can become an even better place to work and a higher performing organization.
On October 11, you received an e-mail from John Veihmeyer and Henry Keizer with personal login information to access the electronic survey. If you haven’t done so, please review that e-mail and access and complete the survey before October 25.
Please note that all participants’ responses will remain confidential, and will go directly to our external survey provider, Kenexa, for tabulation. Kenexa will not report aggregate scores for departments with less than 10 responses.
Remember that all employees who complete the survey have the opportunity to enter a drawing in which five randomly selected respondents will receive a $200 American Express gift card. The survey site will provide instructions to enter. The winner will be announced after October 25.
Last year, the Silicon Valley office’s survey response rate was 70%. In order to establish a wider range of views and suggestions, I’d like to set a goal of 80% this year. So we are giving you an added incentive to respond to the survey. If the Silicon Valley office receives an 80% response rate, then the month of November will be “Jeans Month” and you can wear jeans to the Silicon Valley Office every day next month.
Thank you for participating, and we will share results with you later this year.
So for those of you that are ruining it for everyone else, do you not recognize what is at stake here? Are you not interested in providing exquisite client service in the cool, comfort of denim for 30 straight days? Do you really want to be standing around the water cooler in khakis explaining to someone that you didn’t complete the survey? If so, we hope you can sleep well.