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December 4, 2022

Your Hire Date is Delayed, Now What?

Waiting.jpgInspired by recent events which I shall not get into here because of CPA Wrangler/client privilege, I figured now might be the time to do a quick “how to survive if you thought you were starting with the Big 87654 but suddenly won’t be until 3 quarters from now” refresher. Here you thought you got a sweet gig and now it’s all about making it until your delayed start date.
First and foremost, you’ve got your parents. They might have even put you through school. Your Dad may have called me at the CPA Factory asking if he could put your CPA Review course on his credit card (awww what a nice guy). Maybe they aren’t totally disappointed in you yet and haven’t lost their savings to Alan Greenspan’s bubble fixation. Whatever the situation, you should know by now that this is the first place to tap for extra cash, not your couch.
More, after the jump


Secondly, maybe the Universe is trying to tell you something. Is this really what you want to do with your life? Public accounting? Really? No one’s saying you’ve got to have a spiritual awakening or anything but maybe this is the time to evaluate the direction your life is trying to take. If nothing else, take it as a sign that you could use a Sabbatical.
Let’s not forget that you should be employable somewhere else. So instead of sitting around on the Xbox 360 eating ramen until you show up all pretty and polished for your first day at the Big 87654, go shop your shiny ass to other firms who might have the cash to cover your paycheck. If you’re looking for an easy way to meet the experience requirement and get your CPA and are lucky enough to have a trust fund, you’re totally fine sitting around pwning 12 year olds at Halo. But if you actually want to be an accountant for the rest of your life, go out there and sell yourself to a smaller firm who might appreciate your skills, not leave you waiting like a bad Craigslist blind date.
The last thing to keep in mind here is that sometimes it really is not you but me. Firms are scrambling to keep the quality staff they have and replenish the stock that are moving out of public accounting; take advantage of this. As we pointed out here on Going Concern already, don’t trip on the recruiters, they might be out of a job in a few months. It’s a bloodbath out there so slap on your gloves and try not to get any on your nice blue tie.
And if things get really bad, you can always froth lattes at the local coffee shop for the next few months. Give me a discount on my quad black eyes and I’ll tell you what *I feel* might be on the FAR exam next window *cough*
Hang in there, kids!

Waiting.jpgInspired by recent events which I shall not get into here because of CPA Wrangler/client privilege, I figured now might be the time to do a quick “how to survive if you thought you were starting with the Big 87654 but suddenly won’t be until 3 quarters from now” refresher. Here you thought you got a sweet gig and now it’s all about making it until your delayed start date.
First and foremost, you’ve got your parents. They might have even put you through school. Your Dad may have called me at the CPA Factory asking if he could put your CPA Review course on his credit card (awww what a nice guy). Maybe they aren’t totally disappointed in you yet and haven’t lost their savings to Alan Greenspan’s bubble fixation. Whatever the situation, you should know by now that this is the first place to tap for extra cash, not your couch.
More, after the jump


Secondly, maybe the Universe is trying to tell you something. Is this really what you want to do with your life? Public accounting? Really? No one’s saying you’ve got to have a spiritual awakening or anything but maybe this is the time to evaluate the direction your life is trying to take. If nothing else, take it as a sign that you could use a Sabbatical.
Let’s not forget that you should be employable somewhere else. So instead of sitting around on the Xbox 360 eating ramen until you show up all pretty and polished for your first day at the Big 87654, go shop your shiny ass to other firms who might have the cash to cover your paycheck. If you’re looking for an easy way to meet the experience requirement and get your CPA and are lucky enough to have a trust fund, you’re totally fine sitting around pwning 12 year olds at Halo. But if you actually want to be an accountant for the rest of your life, go out there and sell yourself to a smaller firm who might appreciate your skills, not leave you waiting like a bad Craigslist blind date.
The last thing to keep in mind here is that sometimes it really is not you but me. Firms are scrambling to keep the quality staff they have and replenish the stock that are moving out of public accounting; take advantage of this. As we pointed out here on Going Concern already, don’t trip on the recruiters, they might be out of a job in a few months. It’s a bloodbath out there so slap on your gloves and try not to get any on your nice blue tie.
And if things get really bad, you can always froth lattes at the local coffee shop for the next few months. Give me a discount on my quad black eyes and I’ll tell you what *I feel* might be on the FAR exam next window *cough*
Hang in there, kids!

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Are Today’s Accountants Already Occupying Wall Street?

Caleb and I had a talk last night and it made me think about this whole Occupy Wall Street thing. More importantly, it made me think about what I am and am not doing to support it. I haven’t been to a rally, even to take pictures (last time I tried to do that, I was the only one out in front of the Federal Reserve Board at 6 in the morning except for the lone Fed cop patrolling the perimeter).

I get that people are pissed off. I’m pissed off too. I’ve been pissed off, don’t tell me about being pissed off. I was lugging around aFed sign made on top of “Ron Paul ’08” acrylic three years ago, you don’t have to tell me about being pissed off. (Here I am in 2009 on SF Citizen in a “Bernanke 00%” t-shirt at an anti-Iraq war rally)

And I get that for some people, all there is to do is go downtown with a drum and some poorly-written signs on cardboard ripped from your mom’s Costco packages in the recycle bin. That’s totally fine, everyone has their own way of sticking it to the man.

For a lot of Going Concern readers, sticking it to the man means showing up every day in business casual pretending to give a fuck about COSO but actually knowing that it’s all a lie. They work you to the bone until you leave or submit and get promoted to manager. Partner if you’re lucky. Run on that hamster wheel, here have this bonus, keep going and one day you can beat your own subordinates into submission. Go, go, go… Many of you get that this is bullshit but keep showing up every day anyway, and to me, you are your own special kind of protester. Same as last year, motherfucker, it’s the ultimate form of rebellion.

Too much?


Point being, everyone has their own way of screwing the establishment. Francine does it railing against the Big 4. Bill Sheridan and Tom Hood do it at the MACPA with professionalism. Tom Selling does it by riling up fellow academics. Professor Dave Albrecht does it by being seen in public canoodling with known incendiaries like yours truly.

I do it by ripping on the IASB as often as I am allowed to, infiltrating the Hill to sniff out what’s the latest in CPA lobbying efforts and getting in as many F bombs as I can on the dry subject of accounting. That’s all I can do. I can’t abandon my day job to hang out in Manhattan eating vegan paninis. I can make and distribute offensive Bernanke fridge magnets.

I completely understand why people are attracted to Occupy Wall Street; the part I’m struggling with is why so many of the 99 Percenters seem obsessed with this thing called “fairness” that does not, in fact, exist. Is it fair that any of us have to drag our asses to work every day and do what we do? Is it fair that Becker costs $3,000 and doesn’t pass the CPA exam for you? Is it fair that many of you are drowning in student loan debt and seemingly forced to get Master’s degrees just to work in your field? Is it fair that Caleb gets listed in all the accounting publications and I’m stuck as the sidekick hack who always manages to piss people off? This world is unfair, sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I have to write about accounting every day of my life, it’s un-fucking-fair, we get it.

In my view (for whatever that is worth, which is probably not more than our company pays me to write this post), the ultimate rebellion is assimilating and infiltrating the establishment to enact real change from the inside. Are partners scared as shit of this website? Yes. If they’re threatening you with termination if you even dare to write us for advice, we’re doing something right. And I didn’t even have to not shave my armpits to accomplish that (but Caleb probably shaved his).

Are any of you going to independently revolutionize the accounting industry? Probably not. But collectively, you have scared the pants off of lazy ass recruiters and partners across this country who thought you didn’t have it in you. They read us because they feel like they have to or else they’ll lose touch with what you guys are thinking, and it scares the living shit out of them. In my mind, that’s a far more effective message to send the The Establishment, whoever the hell they are.

I fully support the fundamental sentiment of Occupy Wall Street but much prefer fulfilling my incendiary duties here trying to get accounting kids riled up and questioning why they put up with the shit they do. Working mothers in public accounting should be allowed to have children. Interns should be allowed to ask questions (even dumb ones). Auditors should be expected to question last year’s logic. It’s not complicated but it’s important work that a lot of you do, and I hope that you get that.

It is not your fault that we’re here. Many of you just followed the rules.

Thanks for letting me be a part of that. Beats standing around with a fucking sign, that’s for sure.

Earlier:
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