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To Whom It May Going Concern: Looking For a Husband and a Few Good Going Concern Readers

To Whom It May Going Concern is a feature of some of the more, shall we say, interesting messages that come across the wire. If you get the urge to tell us exactly what you think about this here website, email [email protected] with "To Whom It May Going Concern" in the subject line, @ us on Twitter or just yell really loud and maybe we'll hear you. Just a reminder that all messages are considered on the record unless specified otherwise. As always, we do at least keep you anonymous unless you specifically say otherwise.

This week in KPMG doom:

At my school, KPMG is not hiring for full time at ANY of their offices! However, they are interviewing for internship positions. So weird. Has anyone gotten any offers from KPMG anywhere in the US? (Big 3 soon?)

I believe this can be taken to mean they do not need any full-timers at this time. Although when paired with that one dude's friend they laid off in Rochester, maybe you're onto something. Probably not.

For some strange reason, we've been receiving some unusual perfectly-formatted spam with the subject "Looking for a husband!" in the old tip box. Now we all know AG is not the marrying type (but if you're cute and looking for a girlfriend I might be open, though I assure you I will NOT click on your webcam link and enter my credit card number, real girls only plz and put "Colin sucks" in the subject line so I know you're real) and no woman would ever consider making an honest man out of Colin so maybe these emails are meant for the ghost of Daniel Braddock? Who knows. None the less, this is some of the best spam ever:

Fork in the road – change is coming soon. SHORT VERSION: Looking for that one man. He'll know who he is. I am at my best in a rural setting w/ animals and someone to care for and about. Can dress up in formal wear and dancing shoes but most often, prefer to spoon and fall asleep wrapped in your arms watching a show. The LONG Version [ed. note: believe it or not there's an even LONGER version cluttering up our tip box]:I am searching the NATION and am NOT RESTRICTED BY DISTANCE – ANYWHERE YOU ARE, so goest I (maybe). Also, I am not going to pretend to be a seductress to lure you in and then, seem to change, as we get to know one another. This is who I am …… The basics – married once, divorced more than 30 years. Smoked for 35 years (stopped several years ago) and do drink – albeit, the amount is negligible (last was 2 glasses of wine New Year's Day 2005). Have been a homeowner (not as a result of a divorce settlement – I bought him out) and learned how to do many improvements (correctly) w/o assistance, including new windows, plumbing, building new walls, etc. Sold home to relocate and looking for you. I bought, and drive, a 31ft. mini-motorhome (looking for a life partner not an RV companion). And, no, I do not jump in and travel all over the moment some strange man sends a message to me snapping his fingers telling me to come by so we can meet. I am a daylight person – early riser and retire early (love my cotton pjs)(I'm a spooner, too). A plain woman. I don't concern myself daily with lipstick and fashion. However, do polish up well and have been considered quite attractive and with social grace. Rarely curse and no drug use. I am not a fancy cook but can cook a balanced, nutritional meal. I do not make my bed daily and my home would not pass a white glove test (that does not translate to 'dirty') but, I know how to make a house a home. I like yard sales, thrift stores, and flea markets. I read these profiles and take what the 'statistics' indicate with a grain of salt. There is a likelihood that someone has embellished (fibbed) about something (like me -I'm really born in 1953). For those that indicate a substantial income and think 'that's what she's after' – how sad you think a woman wouldn't be interested in you otherwise.

Sorry, darling, you're obviously a prude, a slob, too lazy to slap on a little makeup and a cute outfit and, frankly, way way too old for us. You're older than my dead mother, no way can I get down with that. If anyone can, I'm happy to forward over the email so someone else can take a stab (no pun).

Now, onto some housekeeping. If you haven't yet, please take a moment to fill out our 2012 Going Concern Reader Insight Survey. It helps us get to know you better, tailor content to what you actually want to read and also gives us an opportunity to suck less if you have complaints to add. So far, here are some of the best complaints we've received:

I don't mean to be selfish, but now that I'm done with the CPA, I see a TON of CPA exam-related posts. I think it'd be better for the website to include more factual/informative/technical accounting issues as blog posts. I know we don't want the website turning too "geeky," but I am an accountant after all. I wouldn't mind seeing a few more posts about FASB position papers or GAAP/IFRS convergence. Though I do enjoy seeing little nubiles pissing themselves over FAR… Regardless, thanks for a great couple of years and I look forward to reading in the future! You guys have been great overall.

For not meaning to be selfish, you're sure being selfish. Did you read the CPA exam posts when you were taking the CPA exam? OK then, STFU. Sorry, that was mean. What I mean is I'm sorry to blow you up with that stuff but it is intended for the many, many people who ARE still taking the exam – of which you were one once upon a time – and therefore we have no choice (trust me, I've been writing it for 5 years, it's way older for me than it could possibly be for you). However, we will take your suggestion for more technical stuff hint hint Colin and Greg. We tried pumping out a bunch of that stuff that once upon a time and got pissed all over for doing it but I guess you can't please everyone so we're willing to try it again. But really, FASB papers? Isn't way easier to mock nubiles? Moving on to the next complaint:

I don't read it very often anymore. It is very 'anti-Big4" and way too 'snarky' in its critique of the public accounting profession to be taken seriously.  While I believe that the Big 4 have a lot of areas in which improvement is needed, GC does not add to the discussion.  GC is really just a place for many dis-affected people to make rude and crude comments.

Note, the above complaint comes from a reader on the, er, older side. Which pretty much says it all I guess. Not that this 30-something disagrees with much of that, except that there is value in the seemingly useless complaining. Some of the rude and crude comments not so much. This is where you guys can help by hitting the little red flag next to comments you don't find useful to bring them to our attention (you do not need a Disqus account to do this) or email us directly if we're the ones being either rude, crude or both. We do really appreciate your feedback. Even if we do sometimes mock it.

Moving on:

Quit hating on McGladrey you bullies!

Let me take a stab at where you work…


Adrienne is too polite.

Not sure if trolling. Or if that should be taken as a compliment?

On the flip side of that, we have gotten a few very nice compliments as well. Thanks to you guys, I won't drink myself into oblivion this weekend over how much you guys appreciate my endless CPA exam advice and F-bombs. I will, however, drink myself into oblivion in celebration:

I fucking love it. I tweet you all over the place. I particularly adore the way you fillet the emotions and dignity of those stupid enough to email you for careers advice … Luv it!

We also love the logic here. You guys are nothing if not well-rounded:

It's a nice break from ticking and tying…to go read about ticking and tying.

Just a reminder the partners are watching (and we love you partners for staying in touch with what the kids are saying about you. If you ever have story ideas, you guys are just as welcome to get in touch with us as the little nubiles freaking out):

I like [Going Concern] a lot, I am a partner in a Big 4 firm and while it is harsh on the Big 4, I find the writing witty and generally on point – I often read the comments to see what people (some of whom are probably ours) are writing.

And the winner for most clever way to say certain commenters should shut up and let others talk every now and then:

Amusing, while not entirely applicable, it's entertaining to read what I can only assume 3-5 rated peers are thinking/commenting.

It's worth pointing out "Guest" is really like maybe 4 people.

The last item on the agenda is word from our friends at 5 Times Square that they are back at work after Hurricane Sandy (thank goodness) and were enjoying culinary delights in the cafeteria as early as yesterday. See attached photographic evidence that was sent to our tip box:

It's unfortunate we are no longer 12.