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Where in the World Is John Veihmeyer?

Posted on by Caleb Newquist
Have you seen this man?By way of the always interesting tip box, we've been alerted to the KPMG CEO's alleged whereabouts. Since we have a classic case of "pics or it didn't happen" we'll refrain from reporting his precise location:
I am pleased to report that John Veihmeyer, our Chairman and CEO, will be coming to [our city!] on Wednesday, September 11.  While in town, John will be visiting with clients and will also come to our office.  This is a great opportunity to showcase [our city's] talent and office spirit.  If you see John in the halls or around the office, please be sure and give him a warm [our city] welcome.
 
Thank you for helping ensure that John’s upcoming visit is a memorable one!
This can be easily remedied, of course. If JV is in your fair city and you spy him and a photo-op presentes itself, take advantage and pass it along.
 
You're looking for a white male, 50-ish, about yay high, salt and pepper hair, wearing a suit. Distinguishing marks may include a Notre Dame Fighting Irish tattoo but this has not been confirmed. He's often seen wearing a Phil Mickelson/Stacy Lewis hat, although not necessarily in a business setting. Keep your eyes peeled.

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Satyam: Does Anyone Mind if We Take Another Three Months to Finish Our Restatements?

With just a couple weeks until the June 30 deadline for the company to issue its restated financial statements, Satyam is requesting just a little more time to get this mulligan nailed down. Three months to be precise.

Yes, they’re completely aware that it’s been nearly 18 months since the shit hit the fan. And yes, this is the third time they’ve asked India’s Company Law Board (“CLB”) for an extension on the filing but at this point they figure expectations are so low, no one will get too worked up over it.


Except for an “analyst with a leading brokerage house.” who is quoted in the Business Times, “There is no clarity on what is happening within the company. They should have at least provided the current sales figure or the bench strength. How is the shareholder supposed to rate their stock?”

Since more than a few people might be caught up in “sales figures” and whatnot, Satyam went to the trouble to let everyone know that they’re working hard, ordering in, etc. etc. so you can rest your pretty little heads:

A Satyam official said, “The records have been under the custody of investigating agencies and we recently got a court clearance. Also, our auditors (KMPG and Deloitte) told us they need some more time for the restatement. It’s only a matter of a quarter.”

See? It’s just a matter of a quarter. Plus, you can’t really blame them – KPMG and Deloitte are the ones saying they need more time. Satyam has likely been bugging them for months about wrapping up but KPMG and Deloitte are probably complaining, saying things like, “we can’t find any documentation to supports these numbers” and “this doesn’t add up.”

So, TFB if some whiny analysts don’t like it. We’ll just find out just how big of nightmare these financial statements will be in due course.