Okay ladies, we’re aware that some of you have the wedding fever. You want the string quartet, doves flying out of the house of worship, driving away in a Bentley while you leave your new hubby’s ex on her knees sobbing her stupid little head off. We get it.
What we don’t get is the lengths that a few of you are willing to go to make this super magical day happen.
Enter Joanne Kent, a 26 year old accountant who embezzled £470,000 from her employer. £50,000 went to bankroll her wedding, including £37,134 for the cliff-top hotel. That didn’t include the cost of the flowers, cars, and fireworks on the beach (all crucial).
And she would have gotten away with it had she not produced an American invoice that was in pounds rather than dollars. The poor girl was sentenced to two years for her little stunt and will likely have to pay the loot back. What’s not clear is if the guests will be demanding their gifts back.
Accountant stole £470,000 for wedding and luxury life [Telegraph]
More Theft for Necessities:
Accountant Steals from Toys ‘R’ Us, Buys Hookers Bentleys
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Robert Luskin, a managing partner at Patton Boggs now gets the honor of leading Sir Al’s defense team. At the rate things are going, we’ll handicap the over/under on the number of attorney changes prior to 2010 at 4. Any takers?
Allen Stanford replaces criminal defence lawyer [Reuters]
Former Payroll Manager for San Francisco Giants Suspected of Embezzlement After Taking a Little Too Much Credit for Team’s Success
A lot of work goes into building a championship baseball team. Good pitching, solid defense and, contrary to some people’s opinion, pinstripes seem to help. What many people easily forget is that there is more to it than just talent on the field. There’s the business aspect of baseball that is essential to every successful team. You can’t just throw a bunch of money around and hope for the best, Steinbrenners. There has to be a plan. The San Francisco Giants, the reigning champs, are one of those teams. Unfortunately for the Giants, they are not impervious to bad luck. Case in point – Robin O’Connor, a former payroll manager for the team, has recently been accused of embezzling more than $1.5 million from the organization. The team was not aware that this misappropriation was happening until someone at Bank of America (Yes.) rang them up with news of a letter they received from Ms. O’Connor, who had recently applied for a home loan and had written a letter explaining two very large deposits into her bank account. Apparently, someone at BofA found the following a little bit out of the ordinary:
“Because of her outstanding contributions to our Major League Baseball team and front office during the 2010 season that assisted us in accomplishing our goal of winning the 2010 World Series, she was given two additional payments of compensation in May 2011,” the letter, quoted in the affidavit, states.
Yes, the correct calculation of federal, state, social security, medicare and other miscellaneous deductions were of such magnitude that it warranted not one but TWO bonuses for Ms. O’Connor. Because if no one gets paid, no one is happy. And unhappy players don’t perform.
Sue Sachdeva’s Defense Team Provides Hysterical Argument for a Lighter Prison Sentence
Koss embezzlement mastermind Sue Sachdeva will receive her prison sentence tomorrow for ripping the headphone cobbler off to the tune of $34 million. Yesterday, the government’s sentencing memorandum (full document after the jump) was released and the prosecution and defense each made their arguments for a heavier/lighter prison sentence.
Naturally, the prosecution is seeking the maximum sentence, as is Koss CEO Michael Koss, who wrote a letter to the court with his thoughts:
“She stole from the hardworking employees of the company and their families, and ultimately the stockholders of the company,” Koss wrote. “They are the true victims of her crimes.”
Yes! The shareholders! Including the Koss family members who 67% owned of the stock ! Especially the ones who held five executive positions at once!
But never mind that for two. Tracy Coenen breaks down the defense’s argument for S-squared to receive a lighter sentence and it’s a hoot:
They argued that Sue Sachdeva should get a lighter sentence because:
a. she’s been a law-abiding citizen until now
b. the fraud was “simple”
c. and poor, poor Sue has a “compulsive shopping disorder”
Jump over to Tracy’s post for more analysis but our take on these three reasons are as follows:
A. “Until now,” as in “right up to the moment she pleaded guilty”? If so, that sorta ignores a scam that went on for over a decade.
B. Again, so simple that it went on for over ten years? You’re really making the Koss management look like a bunch of idiots…Wait, maybe they’re on to something here.
C. Please. Show us someone who wasn’t addicted to shopping in the 90s and 00s.