Please ensure Javascript is enabled for purposes of website accessibility

Volunteers for an Emergency Inventory Needed (Audit Experience Desired)

This is getting ridiculous.

“[A]n estimated 500 birds that littered a quarter-mile stretch of highway,” in Louisiana, according to the AP. Oh, and apparently in Kentucky too only numbering in the dozens, so that barely qualifies as a story.

Obviously, no one in the MSM is concerned about getting an exact body count but an “estimated 500” is certainly better than the Journal’s stab of “Between 1,000 and 5,000.”

As for the cause, well, everyone seems to have a theory but the conclusion we’re most inclined to believe is along the lines of “we’ve got no fucking idea”:

“There was probably some physical reason, but I doubt anyone will ever know what it was,” Thurman Booth, Arkansas’ wildlife services director, told CBS.

The latest occurrence of more dead birds turning up in Louisiana only compounds local residents’ worries, as in the week prior to the Arkansas blackbird mystery, 83,000 dead drum fish washed up along a river about 100 miles west of Beebe. Wildlife officials claim the incidents are not related.

Oh, right. The fish. People are needed to count fish too.

This is getting ridiculous.

“[A]n estimated 500 birds that littered a quarter-mile stretch of highway,” in Louisiana, according to the AP. Oh, and apparently in Kentucky too only numbering in the dozens, so that barely qualifies as a story.

Obviously, no one in the MSM is concerned about getting an exact body count but an “estimated 500” is certainly better than the Journal’s stab of “Between 1,000 and 5,000.”

As for the cause, well, everyone seems to have a theory but the conclusion we’re most inclined to believe is along the lines of “we’ve got no fucking idea”:

“There was probably some physical reason, but I doubt anyone will ever know what it was,” Thurman Booth, Arkansas’ wildlife services director, told CBS.

The latest occurrence of more dead birds turning up in Louisiana only compounds local residents’ worries, as in the week prior to the Arkansas blackbird mystery, 83,000 dead drum fish washed up along a river about 100 miles west of Beebe. Wildlife officials claim the incidents are not related.

Oh, right. The fish. People are needed to count fish too.

Latest Accounting Jobs--Apply Now:

Have something to add to this story? Give us a shout by email, Twitter, or text/call the tipline at 202-505-8885. As always, all tips are anonymous.

Related articles

Trump performance art in NYC

Whitley Penn Finds Out New Yorkers Do Not F*** Around

On March 20, New York Attorney General Letitia James filed a motion to compel (aka “gonna need the court to make someone do something thx”) Whitley Penn to hand over documents and communications relating to her civil fraud case against their client Donald Trump, three of his adult children, and the Trump Organization. Whitley Penn […]

trash can fire

Former Client Cockblocks the EY Split to Make Sure They Get the $2.7 Billion They’re Suing EY For

While it appears the EY split is going off the rails, despite assurances to the contrary from people who stand to make many millions of dollars from it, one former client — or rather, the client’s administrators as the client burned to the ground three years ago — is not satisfied with letting the drama […]