Tag: Vote

Today in Hot Accountants: “B-Tag” Thinks First Date Sex Is Skanky, ‘I Love You’ Is a Compliment

Yesterday we threw up some accountant student eye candy courtesy of Cosmo’s Bachelor Blowout.

Thanks to Above The Law Managing Editor, David Lat, we’ve discovered even more gratuitous accountant chestiness for those interested.

This time the young man’s name is Tripp Davis and he’s representing Mississippi. Tripp has a few real-world years under his belt so this may be his last chance at superficial fame and fortune.


Some select details on the man who was a Tripp long before a time when we knew who the Palins were (God, we miss those days):

His buddies call him: “B-Tag, because I’m big, tall, and goofy!” [switch a couple letters around and you’ve got yourself something else interesting]

Relationship style: “I won’t date a girl unless I can see myself marrying her down the road. Then I jump into it.” [That’s a Southern Man for you.]

Melt-his-heart words: “I think ‘I love you’ is the best compliment a guy can hear.” [We’ll give him the benefit of doubt here.]

Sex on the first date: “Skanky” [Obvious lie.]

Girls going commando: “Sexy” [Is there another answer to this question?]

Do you manscape? “Yes.” [See our previous comment.]

Okay, so Tripp is a tall Southern gentleman and we’ve got the young Missouri college student. Since we can’t get ahold of Carl’s transcripts or Tripp’s performance reviews, we’ll have to go purely on looks. Judge away.

Mississippi Bachelor 2010 [Cosmopolitan]

Hot Aspiring Accountant Loves to Listen, Manscapes, Needs Your Votes

Whenever we can, we like to sex things up around here. Sometimes it can be difficult but fortunately, this is not one of those days.


This young chap is Carl Koenemann he’s representing Missouri in Cosmo’s Bachelor Blowout and he just happens to be studying the debit and credit trade.

A few swoon-worthy details on Carl: 1) He plays guitar and writes songs; 2) He craves being told that he’s a good listener; 3) He’s perplexed by a woman who thinks he should be able to read her mind; 4) Affirmative on the manscaping question.

Now some ignorant hack at the Riverfront Times thinks that young Carl is “throw[ing] all [his hottness] away to become a buttoned-down bean counter” but that is just one blogger’s shitty opinion.

We think (and we’re sure you agree) that there’s plenty of room for hot men and women in the accounting field. Not that we’re suggesting that Carl completely dismiss his chance at eating disorders or a career in reality TV but we’re sure he’ll have campus recruiters from all Big 4 firms drooling over him, so his career will be just fine.

Missouri Bachelor 2010 [Cosmopolitan]
Carl Koenemann: Manscaping, Accountant Wannabe Needs Your Vote for Sexy Man Contest [Riverfront Times]

Ron Johnson Would Like to Be the Second Accountant in the U.S. Senate

Because God knows 57 lawyers is far too many and Russ Feingold just happens to be one of them.


As you may be aware, this is the second relatively high-profile race where an accountant and lawyer face off that we’ve covered. In the South Carolina governor’s race tax-tardy accountant Nikki Haley is facing special-interest whore Vince Sheheen. We should also note the the Senate race in New York between incumbent Kirsten Gillibrand (lawyer) and Joseph DioGuardi (accountant) but so far it’s been fairly boring unless DioGuardi happens to make an issue out of Gillibrand’s hotness.

Anyhoo, similar to those two races, the ballot in Wisconsin will appear as follows:

Accountant (R)
Lawyer (D)

So as voters, when faced with such a choice, should we assume that the accountant running for office is family values type that believes in cutting taxes and reducing spending (with no intent to do so) and the lawyer is a spineless tax and spend type that fails to accomplish anything even when they have the political power or leverage?

Wisconsin is doomed.

Lawyer, Accountant Slam Each Other’s Professions in the South Carolina Governor’s Race

Forgetting about politics for a second – the gubernatorial race in South Carolina has gotten personal as the camps of Nikki Haley (R) and Vincent Sheheen (D) sling mud at each other’s chosen profession.

Sheheen isn’t impressed with Haley’s tardiness on paying taxes saying, “I think it’s particularly problematic that she would not pay her employee withholding because that money really belongs to the employee. … For somebody who claims their accounting skills are a reason why she should be elected governor, I think that’s particularly disturbing.”


Sheheen goes so far to say that Haley is completely out touch with South Carolinians who have to pay taxes and eat, something that Nikki Haley presumably does not do, “I think she’s just out of touch with regular people in South Carolina who do pay their taxes and do have to buy food and put it on their table.” Maybe the Haley family just eats their meals over the sink; it’s not entirely clear.

Haley’s camp fired back, citing Sheheen’s snakey-ass lawyer ways:

Haley’s campaign fired a broadside at Sheheen this week, noting that he was endorsed by The Injury Board Blog Network, a national group of personal injury attorneys. It noted that Sheheen, a lawyer, voted to weaken a tort reform bill in 2005.

“The entrenched special-interest network of trial lawyers and personal injury attorneys is circling the wagons for Vince Sheheen,” said Haley’s communications director, Rob Godfrey.

But guess what?!? Vinny Sheheen is a-okay with that. He’s a successful lawyer, not some two-bit accountant-cum-tax dodger, “I hope everybody endorses me. I’d rather have a successful lawyer as my governor than an accountant who doesn’t pay her taxes.”

Obviously, both these candidates are complete losers and our friends in the Palmetto State are going to end up with a shitty new governor. But that’s the way our country works so let’s see what you think. If you had to choose between these two clowns:

Sheheen blasts Haley over taxes [Charleston Post Courier]

KPMG Ireland Associate Pleads with U.S. Counterparts to Help Him and His Bros Win Ski Getaway

The good ole US of A is always here to help its friends in times of need (whether it’s right or wrong is another matter completely). This reverberates all the way down to the multi-national companies that enjoy expansive networks in the U.S.

Getting to the point: from the mailbag:

I (along with EVERY associate and senior associate in the US) got this email this morning from some idiot staff in KPMG Ireland asking us to vote for him to win a vacation courtesy of Coors Light. I’ve never heard of this guy but apparently thinks he knows all of us well enough to ask us to vote for his stupid beer vacation.

I kid you not — he actually looked up every associate and sr associate distribution list for every region/office and practice. He’s listed as a “Trainee” in the global address book under KPMG Ireland FS Audit (whatever that means). This idiot needs to be taught some email common sense…


But when matters of utmost importance – such as a winning a ski getaway to British Columbia – there is only one place to turn…The United States:

Hey everybody!

Me and 2 friends have entered a competition to win a free ski trip to Whistler, Canada. It just depends on who gets the most votes in a week. If you could follow the link and vote for us I’d really appreciate it.

http://www.coorslight.ie/destination/profile/cde76g7p

It only takes about 10 seconds and no registration / email needed. You just enter your D.O.B to enter the main site (or any DOB that makes you over 18) then just hit the ‘vote for us’ tab on our profile –
Ri-Skii Business. If you can forward this to some friends or contacts in your different offices it could really help to put us out in front!

Thanks!

Here’s the plea from the Ri-Skii Business page:

Idiot? Or sheer genius? We’ll let you debate that one. In any case, help the dudes out and go vote. They’re just looking for the next adrenaline rush.

Which Big 4 Firm Is Getting Extra Anxious to Sign Off on Audit Reports?

In this morning’s roundup we linked to the Accountancy Age story that reported the Audit Inspection Unit in the UK found that “Auditors have also been accused of altering documents before handing them to regulators and putting cost savings ahead of quality,” but also “The report also found some cases where partners signed audit reports before the audit was complete.”

Obviously this is no good but since the report was relevant to the FTSE 100 (and the report doesn’t name names), we just figured that this was just a blanket statement about the Big 4. However, over at FT Alphaville, Tracy Alloway shared a clipping from the report that got a little more specific:


“This issue appeared to be more prevalent at one major firm.” Okay! So one firm has a few extra partners that have itchy trigger fingers. This obviously begs the question of “which firm?” If you prefer to play the numbers, here’s the latest breakdown of the FTSE 100 we can find: PwC – 41; KPMG – 24; Deloitte – 20; E&Y – 17 (we realize the numbers don’t add up to 100, take it up with Accountancy Age).

But this is America, so we’ll put it to a vote:

Accounting News Roundup: UBS Deal Hits a Snag; More Clifton Gunderson M&A Activity; Governance Prep Is Big Hurdle for Companies Going Public | 06.08.10

Primaries to Watch From Coast to Coast [WSJ]
There are eleven states that have primaries going on out there today so get out there and pull the lever for someone.

Swiss-US deal on UBS delayed by lower house snub [Reuters]
UBS still owes the IRS 4,450 names of clients as part of the deal that the U.S. reached with Switzerland re: tax evaders with UBS accounts. Small problem – the deal is hung up in Switzerland’s parliament, after the lower house of Switzerland’s parliament rejected it.

Why is this political jockeying even happening? Since the name naming is a big no-no in Swiss secrecy law, the parliamentary approval became necessary after a Swiss court blocked the transfer of the information in January. The names for retracted smackdown has an August deadline but if it is not met, the Swiss risk the the launch of a new tax case against UBS by the United States.


Clifton Gunderson Merges With St. Louis’ Humes & Barrington [Clifton Gunderson]
Clifton Gunderson has obtained St. Louis-based Humes & Barrington, in an deal effective June 1. The H&B staff of 53 will join the 7 partners in adding to the 1,900 professionals at CG. This acquisition was in addition to the purchase of Stockton Bates that we mentioned last week as well as the purchase of BKD’s Merrillville, IL location.

Corporate Governance is Top Challenge for Companies Considering an IPO, KPMG Survey Series Finds [KPMG PR]
Improving governance is biggest challenge as 64% of the companies surveyed looking to make a public offering listed it as a top challenge along with developing a robust business plan (40%) and preparation of financial track record (36%).

Jefferson Wells aligns with Baker Tilly Mexico [Milwaukee Business Journal]
Milwaukee-based Jefferson Wells has aligned with Baker Tilly Mexico to expand its operations in that country and the the Central America region. This marks the fifth expansion for JW in twelve months and is the first into Mexico, Central America and the Caribbean.

Legal Pot in California Won’t Change Much, Other Than the Taxes Of Course

Legalization of gay marriage didn’t go over very well in the Golden State but come November, my fellow Californians and I will be deciding whether or not we’re up for taxing the hell out of the chronic to save our state’s sad fiscal sitch with an estimated $1.4 billion in revenue a year by making marijuana possession legal. According to the bill, an ounce would bring in $50 in revenue .

Now, we’re not promoting huge grow rooms in grandma’s Pomona basement but the law would allow an ounce for personal use (some of you might question that amount as a tad large) and for anyone over the age of 21 to have 25 square feet of plants growing in their residence.


As is, California is pretty loose with the definition of “medical use” and if you’ve ever been to Venice Beach, you already know that pot has been a big business round these parts since Proposition 215 made medicinal use legal. Everyone from depressed shlubs to Mr Magoo-sighted grandmas can head to the cannabis club for their medicine and some smart cities like Oakland already tax these sales.

Some of you may not realize this but pot is essentially legal in San Francisco anyway. I’ve never heard of cops asking for a prescription if you get busted toking on a blunt in the FiDi (hey, work is stressful) and the rumor is that the SFPD has actually made it an unofficial policy not to hassle pot smokers as long as that’s all they’re doing.

So if you’re smoking a joint on the street, you’re fine. If you’re smoking a joint AND killing someone or smoking a joint AND not wearing pants, you might have some trouble but for the most part, you can trot around town puffing away without having to worry about getting hassled. Of course, driving under the influence is still illegal so I would not recommend puffing away from behind the wheel, no matter how lax the locals are towards the green stuff.

The state seems divided equally on the issue, with the LA Times reporting that a recent poll left the state split 49/41, with 49% in favor of the legislation. Listen, if it’s between legal weed and paying $989 to register my car, I’ll take the weed tyvm.

So? Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em and if you don’t got ‘em, feel free to tax ‘em. Get used to the sin taxes, it might be the only way to bring my fine state (and others in equally dismal fiscal situations) back from the brink of financial Armageddon. And if that doesn’t work, at least we’ll be too high to notice.

Adrienne Gonzalez is the founder of Jr. Deputy Accountant, a former CPA wrangler and a Going Concern contributor . You can see more of her posts for GC here.

Just When You Thought You Were Out…

Return.jpgThere comes a time in every unemployed person’s stint as Costanza where you consider going back to the job you just quit. Or maybe you got canned but now they’re reaching out to you through the alumni network just to let you know how great you are nd dang, we sure miss ya.
The BBC was asking around about employment prospects in the new year and lo and behold, they interviewed Keith Dugdale, director of global recruitment at KPMG. Amongst other ramblings, Mr. Dugdale put it out there that KPMG is maybe thinking about asking you some of you to come back:

One thing KPMG is looking at is the notion of rehiring former workers to make use of their experience.
“We are putting a lot of effort into alumni activities,” Mr Dugdale says.

Oh sure, maybe the BBC is reading into it too much but it does make us wonder how many of you would consider going back to an employer that you left because of [insert reason]. Not because you’re desperate (well maybe you are) but perhaps you decided the grass wasn’t greener after all or you’ve got streak of forgiveness in you that you didn’t realize or you told them they had to beg — like get on your knees and beg and tell me you can’t live without me! And I want an iPhone. No! Two iPhones! — and…they did. Maybe we’re broaching the unthinkable but somehow we think some of you might miss the old digs and would jump at the shot to go back. Kindly satisfy our curiosity.

Your CPA Success Is Paying Peter Olinto Back in Ways He Couldn’t Have Possibly Imagined

Thumbnail image for olinto_cpa.jpgThere are seven days left in the year decade and, so far, the bean counter that has made the biggest mark in the last ten years for you has been Peter Olinto.
The man that bludgeoned mnemonics into your gray matter day after day, week after week, during the Aughts is taking a commanding lead into the final week of voting.
We’re keeping the poll open until the very last minute so if your candidate is lagging (TF needs to start calling his fellow sweater vest club members) jump back to the poll and make your voice heard.

Accountant of the Decade Poll

Stella_rocknrolla.jpgPicking nominees for Accountant of the Decade was not an easy task and we hope we’ve presented you with some appropriate nominees. If you don’t like the any of them then you should’ve been more vocal during the nomination process.
Or put another way: piss off.
Personally, we would have nominated Stella but we vowed to let the people speak on this matter and not allow our personal preferences to cloud the democratic process.
The nominees are as follows:
Peter Olinto — CPA; JD; Rival of P. Diddy; CPA Exam Maven; Lover of mnemonic devices.
Tim Flynn — Chairman of KPMG; Servant of capital markets; Part-time caddy to Phil Mickelson; Full-time sweater vest buddy to Phil Mickelson.
Tim Gearty — CPA; Infrequent Tweeter; CPA Exam Maven; Kicks it with Bob Herz on boats.
Andy Fastow — Enron CFO; Book cooker; Asshole (so we hear); Inmate #14343-179.
David Friehling — Former partner at Friehling & Horowitz; Bernie Madoff pal; Worst auditor ever; Inmate #TBD.
Now vote.