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Attention Any Accountants-cum-Future Obstructers of Justice Who May Have to Take Extreme Measures

Having a good document shredding company on speed-dial is a must for any accounting firm. Because of the sheer volume of documents that need destroyed, there’s room for plenty of competition but as is the wont of our society, it can be fierce out there and businesses have to pull out all the stops to get a leg up on their rivals. Thanks to our former sister site, Dealbreaker, we’ve now learned about a business who may be offering a new feature for any of you that don’t have the stomach for ugly this business can be.

Now sure, maybe you’ve got a Dahle 20835 EC on site or maybe a Kobra Cyclone is more your speed but what if you really need a problem taken care of?

You can’t possibly rub someone out on the hallowed grounds of a Big 4 firm now, can you? Best to call some experts.

Local Pastor Ignores Accountant’s Advice on Document Destruction Project

A US pastor says he is not “backing down” from plans to burn copies of the Koran on the anniversary of 9/11, despite international outrage.

“We are not convinced that backing down is the right thing,” said Terry Jones of 50-member Florida church, the Dove World Outreach Center.

Actually, we have no idea if Terry Jones has an accountant in his congregation but IF HE DID you would hope he would consult an expert on these matters. May we recommend this:

US pastor has ‘no intention’ of stopping Koran bonfire [BBC]

The Purpose of H&R Block’s Free Shred Day Is Not to Demonstrate How to Destroy Evidence

As you’re all aware, accountants suffer a myriad of stereotypes. The public’s notion that we shred anything and everything with pure, unadulterated joy to cover our asses is due mainly to folks like David Duncan, the Arthur Andersen partner who so famously ordered the shredding at Enron.  That sort of thing inspired this spot for Heineken:

So H&R Block, parent of RSM McGladrey, has decided that it will educate some of the fine residents in Spartanburg, South Carolina about the less dubious purposes of shredding financial information.

In order to increase awareness of the importance of being financially secure, H&R Block is hosting a Shred Day at Cleveland Village, 1564 Asheville Hwy in Spartanburg from 10am – 2pm on Saturday, March 20. The public is invited to attend to safely dispose of sensitive paper materials, learn about how to protect their ID, and find answers to any tax related questions.

We think this is fine idea on the part of H&RB although we foresee one problem. Since South Carolina has gone to great lengths to regulate “subversive organizations”, will this little demonstration of document destruction backfire? Will it allow the terrorists in the Palmetto state to destroy any and all evidence that would otherwise declare their intentions to overthrow the government? Is Glenn Beck aware that this being allowed to happen?

H&R Block Hosts Free Shred Day [Spartanburg News]