When accounting goes unaccounted for
“Efforts to manage the size of our balance sheet are routine and appropriate, and we believe our actions are consistent with all applicable accounting and legal requirements.”
~ Bank of America statement on the allegations that they engaged in balance sheet manipulation. A statement not so different from Ernst & Young’s on their final audit of Lehman Brothers.
“The S.E.C. seems more interested in needlessly investigating market participants rather than uncovering corporate malfeasance and protecting investors.”
~ Greenlight Capital Press Release addressing the Commission’s failed investigation of Allied Capital.
“It is most accurate to say that prior to the game, most people thought that KU would win the game. Many, though, thought [that] UNI’s chance of winning was at least reasonably possible. If KU supporters didn’t think enough of UNI to … acknowledge its chance[s], it just shows they weren’t thinking.”
~ Professor David Albrecht, on why Northern Iowa’s “upset,” at least from an accounting perspective, wasn’t really an upset.
“I believe the manner in which the Firm is reporting these assets is potentially misleading to the public and various governmental agencies.”
~ Matthew Lee, former Lehman Brothers Senior VP in charge of consolidated and unconsolidated balance sheets, in a letter to certain LEH executives. He was fired.
“It is safe to assume that we are looking at the conduct of a number of firms.”
~ Mary Schapiro, to a House appropriations subcommittee, not specifically naming Lehman Brothers or Ernst & Young.
“She would be prepared to read the news without clothes and only wears the clothes because her employer requires it.”
~ An accountant representing Sian Williams, co-host of BBC Breakfast one, trying to convince a tax tribunal that her clothes should be tax deductible because she has “to look good on screen.” He failed.
“Our whole industry is useless.”
~ Unnamed Big 4 Auditor and GC reader
“A successful lawsuit against E&Y could result in a court finding that the failure to properly advise the audit committee prevented Lehman from taking genuine steps to substantially reduce its leverage, which may have saved the firm from bankruptcy. Which is to say, E&Y could find itself blamed for all the losses to Lehman shareholders. That would be a stretch – such a claim would be speculative – but it still should be scaring the heck out of the partners.”
“[I]t is hard to justify giving special compensation to the investors of Mr. Madoff and Mr. Stanford just because they lost significant amounts of money with little prospect of any recovery.”
~ Peter J. Henning, on Madoff and Stanford victims lobbying members of Congress for a law that would compensate them for some of their losses.
“While such policies will not solve the obesity epidemic in its entirety and may face considerable opposition from food manufacturers and sellers, they could prove an important strategy to address overconsumption, help reduce energy intake and potentially aid in weight loss and reduced rates of diabetes among U.S. adults.”
~ Researchers from the University of North Carolina, who concluded that an 18% tax on pizza and soda could help adults lose an average of 5 pounds a year.
“A lot of people think of the IRS and have a little bit of fear of the IRS and we want to make sure they know that our doors are open, our people are empowered to make decisions and our goal is to resolve your problem.”
~ Doug Shulman, IRS Commish, who doesn’t prepare his own taxes but wants to help you with yours.
“This year of all years, the importance of camaraderie and bringing employees together is greater than ever. If people are talking about March Madness, they’re not talking about the state of the business, or the pay cuts, or the layoffs, or things like that”
~ Jonathan Shapiro, partner at labor and employment firm Fisher & Phillips, on why betting pools and even game-watching are good morale boosters.