Tag: PwC

PwC Doubling Headcount in China

All the other Big 4 firms have gotten some digital ink hyping their hiring plans for the next fiscal year and beyond. Before today, PwC had only mustered some rumored poaching which isn’t ideal PR.

The rest of the firms have already made it known that they are doing their part to create jobs here and abroad – Deloitte’s numbers are dumbfounding, KPMG’s spree includes Europe and asking its alumni come crawling back, while E&Y is picking up 6,000 recruits off campus.

P. Dubs finally gets puts some hiring news out there announcing that they will double their headcount in China over the next 5 years to over 20,000 employees.

PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP plans to double its headcount in China to more than 20,000 people within the next five years to meet rising demand for professional services as the nation’s companies become more international.

“We expect more Chinese companies to expand their presence overseas, and we’d like to be part of that growth,” Silas Yang, the firm’s chairman for China and Hong Kong, said today in a statement.

PwC to Double China Headcount to More Than 20,000 Over 5 Years [Bloomberg BusinessWeek]

Accounting News Roundup: Brits Investigating Services KPMG Provided BAE Systems; How Many Times Did Harry Reid Vote to Increase Taxes?; PwC Scoffs at ‘Big 5’ Idea | 10.25.10

BofA Finds Foreclosure Document Errors [WSJ]
The Charlotte, N.C., lender discovered errors in 10 to 25 out of the first several hundred foreclosure cases it examined starting last Monday. The problems included improper paperwork, lack of signatures and missing files, said people familiar with the results. In certain cases, information about the property and payment history didn’t match.

KPMG investigated over BAE audit [Accountancy Age]
The investigation by the Accountancy and Actuarial Discipline Board (AADB) focusBritish Aerospace/BAE Systems between 1997 and 2007, looking at commissions paid by BAE to subsidiaries, agents or other companies.

Any professional advice, consultancy or tax work provided to BAE by KPMG during that period will also come under the microscope in relation to commission payments. The investigation will focus on commissions connected to three legal entities: Red Diamond Trading; Poseidon Trading Investments; and Novelmight.

Key Tax Breaks at Risk as Panel Looks at Cuts [WSJ]
The tax benefits are hugely popular with the public but they have drawn the panel’s focus, in part because the White House has said these and other breaks cost the government about $1 trillion a year.

At stake, in addition to the mortgage-interest deductions, are child tax credits and the ability of employees to pay their portion of their health-insurance tab with pretax dollars. Commission officials are expected to look at preserving these breaks but at a lower level, according to people familiar with the matter.

Harry Reid Voted to Raise Taxes ‘Only’ 51 Times [TaxProf Blog]
Apparently there was some talk that it was actually in the ballpark of 300.


Reflections on the Basel Committee Principles for Enhancing Corporate Governance [Marks on Governance/IIA]
News you can use.

Business leaders press administration for repeat on tax break [On the Money/The Hill]
The National Association of Manufacturers and other groups argue allowing companies to “repatriate” money earned abroad to the U.S. at a lower tax rate could spur the economy by providing businesses with a burst of cash they could invest in their companies.

“The business community is looking at ways to jumpstart the economic recovery and here is one you could do without increasing the deficit,” Dorothy Coleman, vice president of tax and domestic economic policy for the manufacturers.

PwC slates FRC idea to create Big Five [Accountancy Age]
Paul Woolston, head of public sector assurance at PwC, criticised the Financial Reporting Council’s suggestion the Audit Commission be used to create a fifth player in the audit industry, currently dominated by the Big Four – PwC, Ernst & Young, Deloitte and KPMG.

“It is at least ironic that the FRC has said what it has, in that the Audit Commission itself has operated with a large monopoly,” he said.

“It is odd that the FRC is concerned about any one organisation having the market share.”

SEC Aims to Streamline Complaint Process [WSJ]
The launch is a step in the agency’s efforts to avoid bottlenecks and duplication in the handling of complaints, which traditionally have been fielded by individual SEC offices and filed there. Complicating matters is the variety of forms in which such complaints come—mail, phone calls, emails and interviews.

“This process is going to ensure that it’s all transferred into a structured format so that it can be more easily searched and analyzed,” Robert Khuzami, director of enforcement, said in an interview.

“We will have all of it in one place, searchable, which will do a lot for us in the long run,” he said.

Thus Far under Obama, the Only Individuals Paying Higher Taxes Are Smokers and Tanners, But They May Have Company Soon [Tax Foundation]
Jersey Shore quips go here.

Unfounded Rumor of the Afternoon: PwC Courting Deloitte Employees in Chicago, New York

From the mailbag by way of a Deloittian in Rahmville:

[O]ur PPD (Principal, Partner, Direct) group has received word that PWC is going to send recruiting letters to every [Financial Services Industry] senior in the Chicago and New York offices. Apparently the letter states PWC is willing to offer $15,000 more than what Deloitte is paying.

The PPD group had a meeting with all of the FSI managers in Chicago yesterday regarding this situation. On top of that, all Seniors in FSI received a meeting request today from the PPD group. The meeting is schedule for Monday morning and according to the managers, the topic of dicussion is going to be these letters. Now I can’t speak for anyone in New York but in Chicago the PPD group is not taking this lightly. Word as it that one of our senior ranking partners actually called over to PWC. Again this is all a rumor, I have not seen one of these letter but apparently one of our partners said he/she has.

If you happen across this letter, do share it with us.

Earlier:
Experienced Recruiting Amongst The Big 4 Gets Aggressive

PwC Partners Providing NY Employees a Way to Avoid Travel, Family for Thanksgiving

As the days shorten, leaves fall and men waste hours in front of the talking box, it can only means one thing: The Holidays will soon be upon us. This also means that lots of traveling and family time – two things that can make the holidays a less-than desirable time of year.

Luckily for PwC employees in New York, two partners have opened their hearts and homes (not literally) so that you may avoid those two nuisances entirely:

To the People of the New York Metro Practice:

The upcoming Thanksgiving holiday break provides us with a wonderful opportunity to enjoy the company of family and friends and to reflect on all we have to be thankful for. However, we recognize that some of our people may be far from home (such as our people who are on tour from various other PwC offices) or may just not have somewhere to spend Thanksgiving Day. If you don’t have plans, Tim Ryan, Assurance Leader and Bill Cobourn, Sectors & Markets Leader will host (along with their families), a special Thanksgiving Day meal.

We would like to invite you and your friend, spouse, significant other, or children — and we can all celebrate this special day together. As some of you know, Tim has six children–so there will be fun for both adults and children. This festive meal will be held on Thanksgiving Day (Thursday, November 25) in the afternoon at a Manhattan venue to be announced. To help us plan for this event, please indicate your interest in attending using the link below. If you respond “yes” we will follow up shortly to provide additional details.

Please recognize that if you already have plans for the holiday, you are not being asked to change them.

This unprecedented display of generosity is quite welcome considering past behavior by some partners in other cities but we do have questions:

1. Is there a short list for the “Manhattan venue” and will attendees be allowed to vote on the locale?

2. Will the “kids table” consist of non-partners as well as kids or will all the adults be allowed to sit together regardless of title?

3. What’s the “saying grace” situation? Also, will there be assigned seats or is it going to be like boarding a Southwest flight?

4. Will table manners be of the Judith Martin or Emily Post persuasion?

5. What’s on the menu? Is going to be the typical fare or are we going non-tradish? Is it catered or are Tim and Bill going cheap and making it potluck?

6. Open bar?

7. Are certain topics of conversation off the table? Examples may include but are not exclusive to: A) The new logo B) AIG C) Deloitte’s ascension to #1.

8. Will there be an open call for entertainment or is the pianist from DC going to step up again?

You have to agree that all of the above are important but are we missing anything? If you’ve got more questions, leave them below.

(UPDATE) Layoff Watch ’10: Checking on PwC in Florida

~ Update includes clarification of the number of layoffs.

Remember those 500 layoffs that PwC announced in July? Jeff Harrington of the St. Petersburg Times reports, “According to a state-required layoff notice filed Friday, 280 jobs will be phased out by Dec. 31.”

According to the report, many layoffs occurred immediately:

PwC said another 150 positions have already been cut since July, with half of those displaced workers finding other jobs through PwC or a third-party vendor it is using, India-based Tata Consulting Services. The other half left voluntarily after finding other jobs outside the company.

That leaves 70 unaccounted for at this time and we’re trying to determine when these are happening. It’s our understanding that the 150 is a bit of squishy number so that may make up part of the difference but it remains a mystery (as Big 4 layoffs tend to be). SEE UPDATE BELOW.

As for the 200 positions tax and accounting that the firm said it is adding, the Times reports that they’ve added 30 positions so far since “last summer.”

If you’re in the know about the layoffs in Florida (or anywhere else for that matter) get in touch with us at tips@goingconcern.com and we’ll keep you updated as we hear more.

About 280 PricewaterhouseCoopers workers in Tampa get pink slips [St. Petersburg Times]

UPDATE – October 19, 2010: A source at PwC has informed GC that the number of layoffs is actually 470, a figure that was determined a few months subsequent to the July announcement of 500 cuts. Employees that comprise 280 cuts mentioned in the Times article were notified by letter that their last day would be December 31st. The source confirmed that half of the 150 employees cited in the article did obtain internal jobs with the firm or Tata Consulting Services while the other half resigned or found positions outside the firm.

Our source said that the remaining 40 IT cuts are being made in offices around the country and that the employees were notified in July. The exact timing of these cuts was not immediately known. We’ll keep you updated.

Accounting News Roundup: PwC Rakes in Fees on Lehman; Grant Thornton: Opening the Audit Market Wouldn’t Hurt Big 4; One in Three IRS Employees Are Eligible for Retirement | 10.15.10

Bernanke Signals Intent to Further Spur Economy [NYT]
“The Federal Reserve chairman, Ben S. Bernanke, indicated on Friday that the central bank was poised to take additional steps to try to fight persistently low inflation and high unemployment.

‘Given the committee’s objectives, there would appear — all else being equal — to be a case for further action,’ he said in a detailed speech at a gathering of top economists [in Boston].

Mr. Bernanke noted that ‘unconventional policies have costs and limitations that must be taken into account in judging whether and how aggressively they should be used.” But he suggested that the Fed was prepared to manage the riske most powerful tool remaining in the Fed’s arsenal of weapons to stimulate the economy: vast new purchases of government debt to lower long-term interest rates.’ “

Lehman Brothers’s U.K. Administrators Billed $420 Million Since Collapse [Bloomberg]
“Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc.’s European administrators have billed 262 million pounds ($420 million) for work since the bank sought bankruptcy protection in September 2008.

The administrators have recovered 11.9 billion pounds in cash in the 24 months since the bank’s collapse and more than 350 trading counterparties have settled what they owed according to a report today on the PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP website.

‘We have achieved exceptional progress in the administration, dealing with some 29 billion pounds of securities and cash, having now returned almost 12 billion pounds of this to clients,’ Tony Lomas, the PwC partner on the Lehman administration, said in a statement. ‘Whilst there are still numerous major challenges to address, our actions to date have generated significant realizations for creditors which will be paid to them in due course.’ “

Y U Luv Texts, H8 Calls [WSJ]
“For anyone who doubts that the texting revolution is upon us, consider this: The average 13- to 17-year-old sends and receives 3,339 texts a month—more than 100 per day, according to the Nielsen Co., the media research firm. Adults are catching up. People from ages 45 to 54 sent and received 323 texts a month in the second quarter of 2010, up 75% from a year ago, Nielsen says.”

Big Four can take losing a chunk of the audit market [Accountancy Age]
“Opening up a fifth of the FTSE-250 audit market would only hit the revenues of the Big Four by an average of £6m, according to Grant Thornton.

Welcoming the EC’s green paper on audit reform, which has made a raft of radical measures including mandatory rotation of audits, the firm said opening up the audit market would not hurt the Big Four.”

Mozilo and SEC in Deal Discussions [WSJ]
“Confidential talks begun in recent weeks appear to be moving toward a settlement in the Securities and Exchange Commission’s high-profile civil fraud case against former Countrywide Financial Corp. Chief Executive Angelo Mozilo and two other former executives, people familiar with the matter said.

Late Thursday, a status conference on the case was ordered for Friday, a move that could signal a new development in the suit. If no agreement is reached, a jury trial is scheduled to begin Tuesday in federal court here before Judge John Walter.

It is also possible, people familiar with the matter said, that only one or two of the defendants would reach a settlement before the trial. Attorneys for both sides are preparing for trial in the event it goes forward, said people familiar with the matter.”


33% of IRS’s 106,000 Employees Are Eligible for Retirement [TaxProf Blog]
Do they simply love their jobs that much?

A little perspective on those 18,000 XBRL errors [CPA Success]
“It’s not that bad.”

Let’s Speculate About: The Oddly Similar Logos of PwC and The Gap

Last month we learned about PwC’s new look to welcome that portrayed beauty and majesty of autumn. That and it reminded us something that Harry Pitfall might encounter if aliens landed.

Anyway, people have their opinions on the new look and Bob Moritz is okay with that as long as it doesn’t concern the color or shape.

The latest twist in this seemingly unending logo-mama drama was brough to our attention by a reader who saw an eery resemblance between PwC pwc’s new look at the new look of recently rebranded and ridiculed retailer The Gap.

Caleb,

Does is strike you as odd that soon after PWC changes their logo the GAP changes theirs to a similar style? Although Deloitte is currently GAP Inc. auditors, the company may be opinion shopping. Changing the company logo to look like their would be auditors’ is a surefire way to get the desired opinion.

This may be a total coincidence. However should GAP grab headlines in the style of the Universal Travel Group and hop over to PWC, at least now you won’t be surprised.

Our reader brings up an excellent point. We admit that the new logos aren’t identical but there’s more than a slight chance that they are brothers from another mother. So what’s the deal here? Maybe it is a coinky-dink. But then again, you would think that the cheap denim, khakis and plain t’s business would be thriving in this economy. If our reader is to be believed, Gap may be trying to find an auditor that’s willing to look the other way on [ideas on financial reporting chicanery are welcome]. And it just so happens that a certain professional service provider has also been recently taken some heat for their rebranding.

The only thing we can be sure of is that if Ernst & Young is serious about their makeover, they should resist the temptation to stick with squares.

Like we said, the motives here are not obvious and it’s imperative that we get to the bottom of this mystery, so that involves getting your ideas. Nothing is too crazy.

Accounting News Roundup: Congress Delay on Taxes Could Hit January Paychecks; KPMG Settles with Hollinger; PwC Asking Clients to Share Internal Info | 10.07.10

Republicans See a Political Motive in I.R.S. Audits [NYT]
“Leading Republicans are suggesting that a senior official in the Obama administration may have improperly accessed the tax records of Koch Industries, an oil company whose owners are major conservative donors.

And the Republicans are also upset about an I.R.S. review requested by Senator Max Baucus, the Montana Democrat who leads the Finance Committee, into the political activities of tax-exempt groups. Such a review threatens to “chill the legitimate exercise of First Amendment rights,” wrote two Republican senators, Orrin G. Hatch of Utah and Jon Kyl of Arizona, in a letter sent to the I.R.S. on Wednesday.
ick to point out that the I.R.S. was put under tight restrictions about access to Americans’ tax returns as a result of political shenanigans by the Nixon administration involving tax audits.”

AIG’s Real Numbers Still Shrouded in Secrecy [Jonathan Weil/Bloomberg]
“Two years ago when the government seized control of AIG, the Treasury in effect took a 79.9 percent ownership stake in the company, through preferred shares and warrants it received as part of AIG’s $182 billion bailout package. By keeping its stake below 80 percent, the government ensured that a financial-reporting method known as push-down accounting wouldn’t be permitted under U.S. accounting rules.

The reason that was so important? Had AIG chosen to implement push-down accounting, it would have had to undergo a complete re-assessment of all its assets and liabilities. And, with a few possible exceptions, the company would have been required to begin showing them on its balance sheet at their fair market values, which may have left AIG’s books looking a lot worse.”

Delays to Tax Tables May Dent Paychecks [WSJ]
“Lack of congressional action on 2011 income taxes may force the Treasury Department to make unprecedented moves to prevent U.S. workers from seeing large tax increases in their January paychecks.

The issue: 2011 tax-withholding tables. Treasury officials usually release the tables, which determine the take-home pay of millions of wage-earners, by mid-November because it takes payroll processors weeks to adjust their systems before Jan. 1.”

Steven Bandolik Joins Deloitte’s Distressed Debt & Asset Practice [PR Newswire]
“Deloitte announced today that Steven Bandolik has joined its distressed debt and asset practice. Bandolik’s hire marks the latest in a series of strategic growth initiatives executed over the last 18 months to expand Deloitte’s distressed debt and asset practice.

‘Challenges need to become opportunities in order for borrowers, lenders and investors to move forward, and get back to their core business of making positive returns on investments. Despite lower interest rates, obtaining new financing regardless of loan performance continues to be an issue unless properties and financial positions are extremely strong,’ said Bandolik. ‘In this environment, clients require intellectual capital to re-structure transactions, and design sensible underwriting, due diligence and risk management procedures. Their debt may need to be structured more conservatively, requiring higher equity levels that could withstand future stress, with a focus on deleveraging over the holding period.’ “

Hollinger Inc.: Settlement of Claims Against KPMG LLP [Marketwire]
“The Litigation Trustee of Hollinger Inc. (“Hollinger”) announced today that he has entered into a settlement agreement with KPMG LLP to resolve all claims against Hollinger’s former advisor advanced by the Litigation Trustee on behalf of Hollinger. The settlement entails no admission of liability on the part of KPMG LLP. The terms of the settlement include releases in favour of KPMG LLP from Hollinger and its subsidiaries, as well as from third parties involved in related Hollinger litigation. The settlement and the releases are subject to court approval, which will be sought on notice to other affected parties. The rest of the terms of the settlement agreement are confidential.”


CAQ Reports on Fraud Best Practices, Launches New Effort [Compliance Week]
“The CAQ conducted five roundtables and 20 in-depth interviews to develop consensus on how companies can best create a financial reporting environment where fraud has little potential to seed or take root. The CAQ published the findings as a cornerstone to further collaborative efforts with other professional groups to share ideas and best practices on how to derail fraudulent financial reporting.”

PwC audit clients asked to give up internal information [Accountancy Age]
“Ian Powell, chairman of PwC told an audience of 300 business professionals, the audit model needed reform, and believed some internal discussions, now privately held between an auditor and company, needed to be made public.

‘It may well be that by making more of those discussions public, the value of an audit can be collectively improved,’ he said.

‘I have asked our lead audit partners to discuss this idea with audit committee chairs of PwC clients to see if we can work together on a voluntary basis to improve the disclosure of such matters over the next reporting cycle.’

The comments come as the European Commission prepares to release a green paper on audit competition, due later this month, and the House of Lords prepares to hear evidence on the issue, next week.”

Greenspan: Financial overhaul to have ‘significant impact’ on economic growth [On the Money/The Hill]
Some people are still listening to this man.

Madoff clan denies fraud role, seek suit dismissal [Reuters]
A consistent message may actually convince someone, some day.

PwC Partner Desperate for Courageous Pianist Has Prayers Answered

It was only yesterday that we learned about a PwC partner that was thrown a curve when their regular pianist up and cancelled for a Monday night fiesta. The partner, not wanting to disappoint/disgust his guests, challenged everyone he knew to find the stones to stand up and say, “Yes, I play piano and I am courageous and I will dazzle your guests and be ‘well fed’ in the process!”

Frankly, we had our doubts this would get pulled off. Fortunately for this partner and his guests, a small miracle occurred:

. . . and the answer is, we’re courageous and talented! I received quite a few offers from people willing to play or with ideas on friends or relatives who could possibly help us out. More importantly, we received a number of replies from people simply stating that they wish they could help out and that they wish they had maintained their piano studies. So, what should we make of this little episode in our lives here at PwC? First, it is a reminder that at PwC we act like family and help each other out.

Second, it is a reminder that we have many courageous people who are willing to step up to a challenge. In a later note, I will highlight some of the individuals who responded and volunteered. In today’s note, I simply want to highlight the contributions of Craig Wilderman, the individual chosen to play last night. Craig played beautifully despite the fact that he hasn’t been playing regularly in recent times. Craig displayed an ability to jump from music genre to music genre — he was actually quite impressive. Perhaps the final message I have for you today is that when you can steal a moment or two away, it is probably a good idea to rekindle old passions and hobbies. I believe that Craig found sharing his piano talent with us last night to be very personally rewarding as well.

First, how annoying would it be to read the emails from “people simply stating that they wish they could help out and that they wish they had maintained their piano studies.” Save it people. What you’re really saying is, “I can’t play a lick but I would if I could and I thought you should know that!” You’re wasting the man’s time. He needs talent, not your bullshit excuses about how you quit when you were a junior high.

But luckily there was a real hero in the mix. We did some snooping around and found a Craig Wilderman on LinkedIn who is in the vicinity but his keyboard talents are not anywhere on his profile. We felt confident that we had our man and we tried shooting him an email to get the scoop on 1) songs played – did he take requests? 2) the hottie situation 3) was he, in fact, “well fed” 4) what form the “external gratitude” has taken so far.

But the most important question for Craig is, is he considering leaving the confines of his cube to go on the road to provide his talents for other partners desperate for in-home talent at a modest charge? It sounds as though he could make a run at it but maybe he just needs some encouragement. We say, go for it Craig. We can’t bankroll you but are more than happy to provide moral support.

Deloitte Is Officially The Biggest of the Big 4, Says Deloitte

Figuring that it couldn’t trust any of its direct competitors to call this one, Deloitte announced today that it is officially the biggest of the Big 4.

Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu Limited (DTTL) is proud to announce that its member firms have risen to become the largest private professional services organization in the world for the first time in the organization’s history. With this milestone, Deloitte surpasses all competitors in the private professional services category to become the market leader based on revenue and headcount. As of the fiscal year ended 31 May 2010, Deloitte had aggregate member firm revenues of US$26.578 billion (US$26.6B) and employed approximately 170,000 people worldwide, including nearly 35 percent in priority markets.

Even though it’s against our natural inclination, we decided to fact check this little stat. Jumping over to PwC’s newly official rebranded site we added up the aggregated revenues by region to discover total revenues for P. Dubs of US$26.569 billion. That’s a difference of $9 million and some change. The proverbial photo finish.

As you can imagine, Jim Quigley and crew are pretty amped about the situation, even though this was never their goal:

“When Deloitte Haskins & Sells and Touche Ross & Co. merged in 1989 to form our modern organization, we were the smallest of what was then the Big Eight. Over the years, our goal was never to be the largest—we have always aimed to be the best, to be the standard of excellence,” said DTTL Global CEO Jim Quigley. “Deloitte professionals have pursued that goal by consistently delivering high-quality, world-class client service and demonstrating a strong focus on responsible business practices. Their commitment and dedication to living our values-based culture have transformed Deloitte into the world’s number one private professional services organization. This is a defining moment in our history.”

In other words, “Shucks, guys. We weren’t trying to be numero uno, it just kinda worked out that way. But DAMN, does it feel good or what?”

And this momentous occasion wouldn’t be complete with a little twist of the knife. Apparently Deloitte got so close that they ended up just wanting it more than the rest of the firms out there:

Over the years, Deloitte has consistently closed the gap and widened the lead among its major competitors. In fact, over the last five years, Deloitte was the fastest-growing private professional services organization based on total revenue among the Big Four. During the period from 2005-2009, Deloitte outgrew its peers by 2.7 to 3.3 percentage points annually. The organization has achieved its leadership position through a combination of organic growth, strategic acquisitions, a focus on quality, and bold investments in priority and emerging markets.

Of course it helps that the consulting business is still in-house but hey, no need to mention how the sausage is made, amiright? And who knows, PwC could always bounce back in FY2011 or maybe E&Y and KPMG will start courting each other again to create a super-firm. Okay, that last one is a stretch but we’re hoping for some surprises.

Deloitte ascends to become the largest private professional services organization worldwide [Deloitte]

PwC Partner, Not Wanting to Disappoint Guests, Has Open Call for Courageous Pianist

When you become a partner at a Big 4 firm, there are many unexpected challenges that you will face. You may have a trusted senior manager quit in the middle of busy season. You may discover that someone who you thought was your best friend is actually primo inventory from the jerk store. And if you’re really unlucky, you may get bombed at a happy hour (allegedly!), then slug a couple people (allegedly!), kiss a couple more (allegedly!), not remember a thing, claim that you were roofied and have a stranger call you up out of the blue and ask you about it.

Anyway, we’ve been informed of another bitch of a situation that can arise when you become partner – when the entertainment for your little soiree cancels on you at the last minute:

From: [redacted]
To:
Cc: [redacted]
Date: 10/04/2010 01:24 PM
Subject: Are you courageous or just talented?

All —

I am having an event at my home tonight and my normal pianist has canceled on short notice. This is a test of the courage of you as a group of people.

I know someone is out there in our midst who in their spare time is a really good pianist. I would be eternally thankful if those of you to whom this note applies, would volunteer to help me out tonight. I know we hire people with many talents — the question is — do you have the courage to display them? The event is from 6:00 – 9:00 PM in McLean. You will be well fed. If you are interested, please contact [redacted]. Hopefully we’ll get more than one taker, and we will figure out who we should use.

The fact of the matter is, my event this evening will survive the lack of a pianist. What I am really trying to figure out is what we as a people at pwc [Ed. note: nice usage of the low caps!] are made of.

Thank you,

Jesus. Talk about a conundrum. And since Big 4 partners don’t pull down the kind of dough that could afford them a short-notice call to Elton, Harry Connick, Jr., or even a cheap Liberace impersonator, throwing a line out into the employee talent pool was the only option this partner had.

Unfortunately, since this opportunity was on such short notice, anyone with the necessary skills that is now just learning about it is SOL. With any luck however, you can volunteer your services as a solid pinch-hitter for future reference. God knows how that comes in handy.

Presumably you don’t have to be the next Mozart but if you can pull off some singalongs such as “Piano Man,” “Friends in Low Places,” and “Sweet Caroline” that will go a long way to nailing down that “eternal” gratitude (for a future event of course).