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Of Course There’s a Nicolas Cage Tax Story on April 15th

It wouldn’t be tax day (in form, if not necessarily in substance) if the Raisin Bran™ of celebrity tax delinquents, Robert Snell, didn’t have a scoop today.

To make it even better, today’s edition is none other than perpetually tax-plagued Nicolas Cage.

In a storage locker last month, cops found Nicolas Cage’s rare $1.5 million, Superman comic book, which was stolen from the actor a decade ago. About the same time, the Oscar winner found kryptonite in his mailbox.

The IRS just sent the financially strapped screen star a $624,934 bill for delinquent federal taxes, according to public records.

If this level of irony doesn’t cause you to believe in some kind of benevolent god, then I feel sorry for you.

IRS hands Nicolas Cage pocket full of kryptonite [Tax Watchdog]

Director of Drive Angry Convinced That Hell Is Run by an Accountant

The IRS’s favorite perpetual problem child, Nicolas Cage, has new movie, Drive Angry and it is quite the testosterony mishmash of explosions and gunfight sex (NSFW). The baddie in this particular film is played by William Fichtner whose face you probably recognize but had no idea what his name was. His character is simply known as “The Accountant” who, as far as we can tell, is a bag man of sorts for the Prince of Darkness.

Now – “The Accountant.” Why would a filmmaker soil your honorable profession by assigning a demon with that label? Is it a bad parental memory? Jaded by an unpleasant tax return experience? No, it’s simply the tendency of accountants to be run a tight ship and director of Drive Angrybe insanely anal:

We imagine Hell as probably as very well done. With all our experiences with bureaucracy we thought that, yeah [The Accountant] would sort of make sense. Bureaucracy can be really vicious and of course we need somebody who would have that attention to detail. Who made sure the checks and balances were met and that every single column lined up. And if it was that person that came after you, you would be majorly fucked. We talked about how you’d already seen the hunter from hell and we thought nah, it’s a guy in a suit. It’s a guy who looks like a lawyer, but isn’t. It’s a guy who looks at numbers and is indifferent to your plight. You can’t negotiate with him because to him it’s just about making sure everything adds up. If you’re against the books, then he will make sure to correct it.

Drive Angry director explains why Satan’s right-hand man is an accountant [io9]

Nicolas Cage Must Not Have Heard About the Fiscal Crisis in California

We really thought we had heard the last of Nicolas Cage and his tax problems. The man has eight films at various points in production including the next editions of both the National Treasure and Ghost Rider franchises.

With that kind of cinematic lineup, you’d think the State of California would give him the thumbs up and say, “Oh, it’s cool Nic. Just cut us a check as soon as you have the cash. NO worries.”

Then we remembered that this is California, home to the budget projection experts that misfired on their tax revenues by $3 billion, so you bet your repossessed-mansion ass they’ll take that $3.8 mil.

National Treasure’ actor Nicolas Cage owes another $3.8 million [Tax Watchdog]

Nicolas Cage’s Catastrophic Financial Situation May be Coming to End

God willing friends, this may mark the end of the financial tragedy that has plagued our hero for we’renotsurehowlong.

It only took putting homes from every continent, both poles, and a bungalow on the moon all on the market. He got sued by his ex-girlfiend, his former business manager and had more liens slapped on his ass than MC Hammer.

But NC is going to pay $14 million to the Service and he’s free and clear. Done. No more troubles. He’s confident this time. You know why? Because he told People about it:

While the government recently placed a tax lien on his real-estate holdings, including an additional $6.7 million from 2008, “over the course of my career I have paid at least $70 million in taxes, unfortunately, due to a recent legal situation, another approximate $14 million is owed to the IRS,” Cage tells PEOPLE in an exclusive statement. “However, I am under new business management and am happy to say that I am current for 2009, all taxes will be paid including any to be determined state taxes.”

$84 million is all it took friends and now that’s he’s got new business management, nothing like this will ever happen again. Plus, the next edition of the National Treasure franchise appears unstoppable. BACK. IN. THE. GAME.
[via the TaxProf]

Who Wants to Buy Nic Cage’s Haunted House?

nic_cage.jpg‘Cause the man is in a bit of a pinch. As you may recall, he’s got a small lien out there to the tune of $6.2 mil and his ex-girlfriend is suing him for and additional $13 mil.
The latest problem is that NC owes $128,000 in back taxes on a house in Rhode Island. All of this would be NBD if someone out there would step it up and take one — just one! — of his homes off his hands:

Among the properties he has been selling are three castles in Bavaria, Germany, and Bath and Somerset, England, as well as Dean Martin’s former mansion in Bel Air, Calif. Also on sale are novelist Anne Rice’s former home in New Orleans and a New Orleans mansion described as the “most haunted house in the United States.” Other properties on the block include homes in New York and Las Vegas, and a 132-foot yacht.

You figure the Anne Rice place would fly off the market what with the vampire craze and all but NOOOOOOO, you’re all too cheap. If this man is forced into bankruptcy and shunned by the Hollywood community, we will all be deprived of the next edition of the National Treasure franchise. Is that what you want?

Luckily for Nicolas Cage, Ghost Rider 2 Is In Development

raising.arizona.073007.jpgToday in getting-sued-by-your-ex-but-my-name-isn’t-Steven Cohen news, Nicolas Cage is now being sued by his ex-girlfriend, Christina Fulton for $13 mil.
She’s claiming that Ghost Rider and his accountant, Samuel Levin (no relation), were really not very fucking good with the money and now she owes $1 million to the IRS annnnnd she has $250,000 in credit card debt annnnnd she lost her house.
If that’s not enough, Cage and Levin already don’t think too much of each other as they’ve been suing/countersuing each other over whether Cage sucks more at spending money ($1.6 million comic book collection) or Levin at managing it (risky real estate investments).
Good luck lady. The ex-Mrs. C’s chances seem better.
Nicolas Cage’s Ex Sues Him and His Former Accountant [Web CPA]