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Tag: IRS Agents

An IRS agent walks into a CFO’s office…

This was sent to me by my 69-year-old landlord who is spending his winter in Florida and we humbly present it to you now for your reading pleasure during this lovely busy season.

At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”

“Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.”

“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”

“Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.”

“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”

“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.”

Congressman Todd Akin Doesn’t Want ‘A goon squad of 5,000 IRS agents tromping around the country’

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AS PREDICTED! Republican Congressman Todd Akin of Missouri could barely wait 48 hours before falsely asserting that the new 5,000 employees at the IRS will all be agents that will be breaking down the doors of every freedom loving American to fleece them for every last dime.

“Don’t call me Clay” Akin was giving Treasury Secretary Geithner a hard time about President Obama’s budget yesterday when he thought it necessary to start calling people – Americans that pay taxes, no less – names:

The back-and-forth began after Akin questioned Geithner about President Obama’s fiscal 2012 budget, which includes spending increases for the IRS that could reportedly lead to thousands of more staffers at the agency. The Missouri congressman said he thought energy might be better spent simplifying the tax code. “Not to mention the fact that it’d make us all look better if we don’t have a goon squad of 5,000 IRS agents tromping around the country with the economy the way it is,” Akin said.

Right. Because you looking good is what’s most important, right Congressman? Geithner, not really impressed with a two-bit fly-over representative giving people in his house shit, tried explaining to him that most of the new employees would work in “customer service or information technology [rather] than enforcement” but this fell on deaf ears:

[T]hat argument did not assuage Akin very much. “’I’m from the IRS. I’m here to help you,’” the congressman said. “That’s hard to sell in the state of Missouri.”

Akin probably didn’t think to ask the employees of the nine IRS locations in Missouri about this. Maybe some of them would be able to explain how, you know, working for the IRS is how they put food on the table, put clothes on their kids, etc. etc. etc. You know, the rhetoric you like to use, Congressman.

Republican calls IRS agents a ‘goon squad’ [The Hill]

Be Prepared for a New Flood of GOP ‘IRS Agents Will Be Invading Your Homes’ Rhetoric

President Barack Obama proposed increasing the budget for the Internal Revenue Service by 9.4 percent to hire more than 5,000 new employees, most of whom would pursue tax cheats. The president’s fiscal 2012 budget released today sets funding for the tax-collection agency at $13.3 billion, an increase of $1.1 billion from 2010, the last time a full appropriation was made for the IRS. Almost half of the increase, or $460 million, would support the agency’s tax-enforcement programs. Under the plan, the IRS would focus on fighting tax evasion through the use of offshore accounts and cheating by corporate and high-wealth taxpayers. It also would seek out fraudulent tax preparers. [Bloomberg]

Your Creepy IRS Agent of the Day

Another poorly thought out advance by a man on a woman worthy of these pages.

A 60-year-old IRS agent has been ordered to pay $476,000 in damages after a former tenant sued him for invasion of privacy. The ruling was issued during a recent civil trial in Broward County. According to records, 27-year-old Miranda Goldston found a hidden camera in a DVD/VCR player that came with the three-bedroom townhouse she rented from Kenneth Ryals. The tiny camera hidden in the DVD/VCR was pointed a Goldston’s bed.

Earlier:
Accountant Seeking Sexual Favors Rebuffed; Pelted with Flip-flops

Accounting News Roundup: Tax Cut Political Football Goes Flat; Google’s Remarkable Tax Planning; Yes, IRS Agents Are Strapped | 10.21.10

Tax Cuts Slide To Back Burner On Campaign Trail [WSJ]
It’s a sign that a decision by Democratic leaders, to put off a vote on extending the tax cuts until after the Nov. 2 elections, may be paying off politically.

“It’s harder to write an ad portraying a vote that hasn’t happened yet,” said Brian Gaston, a former senior aide to House GOP leaders and now a lobbyist at the Glover Park Group.

Google 2.4% Rate Shows How $60 Billion Lost to Tax Loopholes [Bloomberg]
Google y $3.1 billion in the last three years using a technique that moves most of its foreign profits through Ireland and the Netherlands to Bermuda.

Google’s income shifting — involving strategies known to lawyers as the “Double Irish” and the “Dutch Sandwich” — helped reduce its overseas tax rate to 2.4 percent, the lowest of the top five U.S. technology companies by market capitalization, according to regulatory filings in six countries.

TUI Travel CFO Quits After Accounting Error [Dow Jones]
In an embarrassing admission, the company said an ongoing audit for the fiscal year ended September 2010 had highlighted the accounting error in the integration of IT systems in its U.K. mainstream business that had accrued over a period of four to five years and which increased its total write-off for 2009 from GBP29 million to GBP117 million.

Chief Executive Peter Long told Dow Jones Newswires that the issue had been identified when it reported its third-quarter results but continued to investigate the matter and “only last night were we able to determine the scale of the problem.”

Banks Clueless on Foreclosure Mess Severity [Jonathan Weil/Bloomberg]
The biggest U.S. mortgage lenders and servicers say they’re putting the foreclosure mess behind them, and that it never was a major problem. The reality is these companies are so big and unmanageable, the people in charge of running them have no way to know if that is true.

One thing that remains unknowable is how many flawed home- mortgage records and foreclosure proceedings are out there waiting to be unearthed. Dozens of federal and state agencies are investigating. It’s anyone’s guess what they might turn up.


NJ man cashes $158G check IRS mistakenly sent him [Asbury Park Press]
He figured no one would notice.

For ‘B-to-B’ Companies, Finding Facebook ‘Friends’ Can Be a Struggle [WSJ]
These days, even small “business-to-business” concerns like Bill.com are experimenting with social media, perceiving the popular online hangouts as low-cost, easy-to-use venues for attracting new customers and retaining existing ones. But unlike their consumer-focused counterparts—retailers that sell smartphones, jeans, games and other personal products—so-called B-to-B businesses seem to be having a harder time connecting with their target audience.

Some IRS agents carry guns, too, agents tell UAB accounting student group [Birmingham News]
“My first day on the job, I thought, ‘Why are they carrying guns?'” said Donald Smith, a UAB graduate and special agent with the IRS-Criminal Investigation unit.

Korea wants G20 to delay accounting standard consolidation [Korea Times]
Apparently they have a say in the matter

An IRS agent walks into a bar…

…which is never good.

IRS agents searched Vic’s Food and Spirits, which is owned by Vic Center, at about 9 a.m. Tuesday as well as two other properties owned by Center, said an employee.

“We had a visit,” said Warren Oliver, the tavern’s bartender. “They took all of our lists, numbers and papers — everything, with them.”

Young Buck feels your pain, Warren Oliver.

IRS agents search area tavern [Dayton Daily News]

Two Days After the IRS Took His Favorite Scarface Poster, Young Buck Filed for Chapter 13 Bankruptcy

Look, maybe if shotgun-toting IRS Agents kicked down your door and took your video games, a five-figure watch and a movie poster that has far more sentimental value than any of you can appreciate, then you might know Young Buck’s frame of mind.

If not, then you best button it.

Two days after every material possession in your house is taken away (and if you’re a hip-hop artist, material possessions are pretty much everything) you’re bound to re-examine your life.

Brown proposes having his label, Cashville Records, dock his pay $12,500 a month for 60 months, for a total of $750,000. The bankruptcy filing claims Brown earns a total of $19,170 a month.

The entertainer filed for Chapter 13 on Aug. 5. U.S. Bankruptcy Judge George C. Paine accepted the proposed plan and ordered the payroll deductions Aug. 20. Brown will be free to keep his additional income, including royalty payments.

In other words, he’ll be back to Scarface wallpaper in no time.

Rapper Young Buck files for Chapter 13 bankruptcy after IRS raid [The Tennessean]

For Some Unknown Reason, The IRS Confiscated a Nearly Worthless Scarface Poster in Young Buck Raid

Earlier in the month you may recall the story of hip-hop artist Young Buck being on the wrong side of a IRS raid that involved some of those shiny shotguns.

At that time, we learned that the agents seized several items – recording equipment, jewelry, furniture, his platinum wall plaques – even Mr Buck’s PlayStation (he says it was his son’s but, come on).

Anyway, we now learn that agents also confiscated a $31k Breitling Bentley watch AND a Scarface movie poster with an approximate value of…$10.


We’re not too familiar with IRS protocols, so perhaps when someone’s house is raided, the standard operating procedure is to take literally everything. The furniture. The porno collection. Worthless movie posters that there are literally tens of thousands of copies of. It all goes.

Presumably, the agents could have sold the poster to a kid on the street for a few bucks so they could get coffee but it would still be only enough money for one or two coffees. Or maybe it was enough for one (one!) cover at the local strip joint for the post-raid celebration. Or maybe on of the guys/gals really, really, really wanted that poster. Who knows?

Motivation aside, it certainly serves as another fine example of IRS shrewdness when it comes to collection efforts.

$31,000 watch among items seized from Young Buck’s home [The Tennessean]

IRS Agent/Hero Thwarts Robbery Attempt, Shooting Suspect

This guy/gal is going to get a big slap on the back from Doug Shulman:

An Internal Revenue Service criminal investigations special agent shot and wounded one person during an apparent robbery attempt in San Francisco’s Bayview District overnight, police and an IRS spokeswoman said.


Our hero was apparently on duty at the time which, apparently, isn’t strange:

[IRS Spokeswoman Arlette Lee] said agents are on call 24 hours.

“It is not unusual for IRS agents to be out at different times of the morning or evening,” Lee said.

Lee said IRS special agents carry firearms but could not immediately confirm that the agent involved in the shooting had fired a service weapon.

In other news, IRS Agents also eat but are impervious to coffee.

IRS agent shoots suspect during robbery attempt [Mercury News]

Earlier:
Those IRS Shotguns Are Seeing Some Action

Accounting News Roundup: Bankruptcy Examiner to Investigate WaMu Failure; Ex-KPMG Tax Principal Pleads Guilty; UK Inspector Says Audits Need ‘Significant Improvement’ | 07.21.10

WaMu Shareholders Win Court Investigation of Biggest U.S. Bank Failure [Bloomberg]
WaMu gets their very own Anton Valukas! Colorful claims to come? “Shareholders of Washington Mutual Inc. won court approval of a new investigation of the biggest U.S. bank failure, further delaying the company’s effort to reorganize in bankruptcy.

U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Mary F. Walrath in Wilmington, Delaware, agreed that an examiner should be appointed to review WaMu’s assets, including the value of a potential lawsuit against JPMorgan Chase & Co. and the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. for their role in the 2008 collapse of Washington Mutual Bank.”

Ex-IRS agent pleads guilty [WaPo]
John Venuti was also with KPMG from 2002 to until this past January. WaPo reports that he was a “tax consultant and principal.”

“According to the plea agreement, Venuti did not file federal tax returns from 2001 to 2006. Each year, though, he requested and was granted a six-month extension, and made a total of $97,060 in payments along with the extension requests. Authorities said he owes more than $789,000 in back taxes.”

Reckitt to Buy Durex Maker SSL [WSJ]
“Pushing further into the lucrative over-the-counter medical market, U.K. consumer-goods firm Reckitt Benckiser PLC agreed on Wednesday to acquire health-care-product company SSL International PLC, in a deal that values the world’s biggest condom maker at £2.54 billion ($3.88 billion).”

FASB Reveals Second Attempt at Standard on Contingencies [Compliance Week]
“The standard differs from one the FASB published in June 2008, which called on companies to use some conjecture and provide estimates of possible outcomes. Corporate counsel in particular buried FASB with objections that the proposed approach would force disclosure of privileged information, especially by giving legal adversaries access to information that would compromise the outcome of disputes. The current proposal steers clear of any requirement for companies to make any predictions or estimates about possible outcomes.”


FTSE 100 audits require “significant improvement”, inspectors find [Accountancy Age]
“Auditors have also been accused of altering documents before handing them to regulators and putting cost savings ahead of quality, in the review by the Audit Inspection Unit (AIU).

The report raised a number of concerns following its inspection of 109 audits from AIM and the FTSE 350.

The report also found some cases where partners signed audit reports before the audit was complete and one instance when an auditor tried to alter an internal file after the AIU requested it. Auditors had also changed internal materiality thresholds, which effectively reduced their workload, and had also not applied enough scepticism to internal asset valuations.”