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Tag: Bad Decisions

Ohio Man Fighting the IRS May Not Be Done Bulldozing

Great news everyone! There’s a chance that more bulldozer fun will be had in Ohio, courtesy of Terry “Dozer” Hoskins.

Having demolished his house in less than two hours and knowing that it was only a matter of time before the bank came after his business property, he’s giving serious thought to renting another dozer and finishing this thing once and for all. Small town bank and IRS be damned.


Hey, we’re all for it. If you can a dozer for $500 why not introduce a little more chaos in your life? And don’t worry, the man is a professional and is always mindful of safety, “‘You have to know what you’re doing before doing something like this’ to avoid being hurt, Hoskins said of destroying his house. ‘I’ve run heavy equipment for years.'”

Believe it or not, Dozer’s wife wasn’t thrilled with the whole razing of the house, “Also not happy about the destruction of their house was his wife, Hoskins said. They are now living in one of the buildings on the commercial property.” He must have concluded that since he had already declared bankruptcy and destroyed one piece of property, floating the idea of flattening the business property couldn’t piss off the Mrs. too much more.

Question Hoskins decision-making skills if you like but it’s good to see a man taking pride in his work, “I don’t regret one bit of it.”

Home razer might take business next [Cincinnati Enquirer via TaxProf]

Today in IRS Resistance: Ohio Man Bulldozes His Own House

What’s the saying about trends? We can’t remember it but after the suicide attack on the IRS last week, we now bring you a less violent but equally ineffective middle finger to the IRS.

Terry Hoskins, of Moscow, Ohio had IRS liens slapped on his carpeting store and other properties. Apparently he used his personal residence as collateral on the business and these other properties, leading his bank to foreclose on his home. Hoskins wasn’t okay with that:


Whether Terry the Bulldozer was looking to get a Facebook following out of this, isn’t entirely clear. But we will give the guy credit; even if he did this to himself by putting up his personal residence for some bad business deals, he’s got pretty creative for the sake of making a point.

“I made a bad business decision. Fuck you IRS! Up yours, RiverHills Bank! You think I’m not serious? I will rent heavy machinery to prove my point. I will make my loved ones temporarily homeless. I will go on a local NBC affiliate to talk about it. How do you like me now?”

Unfortunately, the timing couldn’t be worse. If that attention whore Joe Stack hadn’t gone on his little flight, Terry could be enjoying Joe the Plumber-esque fame right now. Next time, Terry.

(UPDATE) Ernst & Young Partner Sentenced to Prison for Role in Tax Shelter Scheme

prison.jpgIn accountants going to jail news, E&Y partner Robert Coplan was sentenced to three years in prison for his role in creating tax shelters for wealthy clients from 1998 to 2006.
In addition to the jumpsuit (denim?), Mr. Coplan was ordered to pay a $75,000 fine and peform 120 hours of community service, half of which must be counseling of tax professionals about his time as a scofflaw.


Judge Sidney Stein said that while Mr. Coplan was an otherwise all right guy, the sentence was for ‘general deterrence’ and that he understood that ‘there was pressure coming from higher-ups at Ernst & Young’.
Judge Stein is scheduled to hand out more prison time to former E&Y partner Martin Nissenbaum today, while former partners Richard Shapiro and Brian Vaughn tomorrow.
Presumably all the men have access to a toilet without too much hassle.
UPDATE, Friday 8 am: Martin Nissenbaum was sentenced to two-and-a-half years. Not sure why he got 6 months less than Coplan but we’re sure he’s thrilled with the outcome.
E&Y partner gets prison over tax shelter scheme [Reuters]

What Are You Prepared to Do to Make Your Dream Wedding Happen?

love-money.jpgOkay ladies, we’re aware that some of you have the wedding fever. You want the string quartet, doves flying out of the house of worship, driving away in a Bentley while you leave your new hubby’s ex on her knees sobbing her stupid little head off. We get it.
What we don’t get is the lengths that a few of you are willing to go to make this super magical day happen.
Enter Joanne Kent, a 26 year old accountant who embezzled £470,000 from her employer. £50,000 went to bankroll her wedding, including £37,134 for the cliff-top hotel. That didn’t include the cost of the flowers, cars, and fireworks on the beach (all crucial).
And she would have gotten away with it had she not produced an American invoice that was in pounds rather than dollars. The poor girl was sentenced to two years for her little stunt and will likely have to pay the loot back. What’s not clear is if the guests will be demanding their gifts back.
Accountant stole £470,000 for wedding and luxury life [Telegraph]
More Theft for Necessities:
Accountant Steals from Toys ‘R’ Us, Buys Hookers Bentleys

And Here We Thought All Accountant Bloggers Were Doing It for the Forces of Good

Thumbnail image for integrity.jpgThe gamut of accounting bloggers that we’re acquainted with are good people despite their individual proclivities. Things like paranoid fantasies that involve every level of government bureaucracy (we’re looking straight at you, JDA) and perverse obsessions with stilettos that even freak us out (ahem, Francine) don’t make anyone a bad person, just well, weird.
That being said, it was only a matter of time before an accountant/blogger actually turned out to be criminal*.


Russ Fox at Taxable Talk:

About a year ago I discover a tax blog called Apirl15.com. I doubt we’ll be seeing any more of this blog; according to an affidavit from an IRS Special Agent, the proprietor of the blog has admitted to embezzling $8.5 million.
William Murray, a CPA from Sacramento, allegedly told his clients to pay their taxes through a “trust account” system. This “service” would help the clients and make things easier for them. Mr. Murray also allegedly had clients send money that he would allegedly “loan” to other clients.

William “No, not Bill” Murray used the client money for the run-of-the-mill stuff: cars, houses, entertainment (i.e. hookers, llelo), plus it’s alleged that he’s a degenerate gambler. A model citizen really.
Despite this blow to the accounting blogosphere image, you can sleep well knowing that if we ever ask for your money it will be used for the purposes of providing you with the finest accounting rag news publication possible. There are reputations at stake.
April 15th No More [Taxable Talk via Tax Update Blog]
*You were a criminal before you started blogging, Sam.

Section 409A: Worst Tax Enactment of the Decade

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for thumbs down col.gifEditor’s note: Welcome to GC’s first edition of “Taxes: Because We’re the Little People” by Joe Kristan. Joe Kristan is a tax shareholder for Roth & Company, a Des Moines, Iowa CPA firm, where he works with closely-held businesses and their owners. Prior to helping start Roth & Company, he worked for two of what are now the Final Four CPA firms. He writes the Tax Update Blog and is available for seminars, first communions, Bar Mitzvahs, etc.
Sure, those Northwest pilots who missed Minnesota were off the mark. So was Arthur when he signed off on the Enron audit. But as badly as they missed the target, they look like Annie Oakley compared to Congress in its response to Enron.
Congress takes aim at the national firms whose audits failed to spot the looting at places like Enron. The result? SarBox, the greatest gravy train for the Final Four firms since the invention of the senior accountant.


The Congressional response on the tax side took a different approach. Rather than reward the guilty, they chose to beat the innocent. Hence Section 409A.
The Enron scandal featured elaborate deferred compensation plans to provide executives a gilded liferaft when the ship sinks. Congress responds with a code section affecting schoolteachers. They showed Ken Lay what for by designing a tax on folks on money they may never see because of somebody else’s foot fault.
Sec. 409A clobbers its victims two ways:
• It taxes employees on their deferred comp balances when the plan is out of compliance, even if the employee doesn’t get the money, ever.
• It hits them again with a 20% excise tax.
Worse, the code section imposing these penalties is so complicated that it took 3 years to complete the regulations that run to 200 pages, and are so complicated and intrusive that accidental noncompliance must be rampant.
This all makes Sec. 409A my choice as the worst tax enactment of the decade. But tastes differ. Let us know your nominee for the worst tax provision enacted from 2000 through 2009 in the comments and if we get some good submissions, we’ll put it to a vote.

Here’s a Good Example of How Not to Sue a Big 4 Firm

Thumbnail image for morans.jpgWere you at all concerned that you would never hear another story about a lawsuit related to the AOL/Time Warner merger from 2001? A merger described by BusinessWeek as possibly being the “worst of the worst.”
AOL’s revenue recognition practices for booking online ad revenue led to restatements of their financial results from 2000 to 2002. This led to hundreds of shareholder lawsuits, most of which were consolidated into a class action suit. All of the suits have been settled or dismissed.
E&Y, who audited the AOL portion of this little gem, has now had the final lawsuit against the them dismissed. Back in 2003, AOL shareholder Dominic Amarosa decided that he was going to file suit on his own rather join the class action. Problem was, he didn’t file suit on time and failed to connect his losses to statements that were made by E&Y. Those both sound kind of important.
On top of that, Judge Colleen McMahon didn’t really care for the plaintiff or his attorney Christopher Gray, calling Amarosa a ‘vexatious litigant pursuing clearly frivolous claims’ and Gray’s tactics, ‘shenanigans.’ Judge McMahon also indicated that she was considering sanctions against Gray for said shenanigans.
So if you’re looking for a blueprint on how to completely screw the pooch on a lawsuit against a Big 4 firm, this is probably a good place to start.
Lawsuit over Time Warner-AOL merger dismissed [Reuters]

Accountant Steals from Toys ‘R’ Us, Buys Hookers Bentleys

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for prostie.jpgBefore we get started, we just want to kindly request that you keep any thoughts or comments you have about Geoffrey masks to yourselves, okay? Thanks.
Anyhoo, an accountant in the UK has pleaded guilty to 18 counts of theft of £3.7 million from Toys ‘R’ Us that he spent on hookers and other necessities including said hookers’ mortgages and their transportation needs.

[Paul] Hopes encountered most of the call girls while touring the country on business, drinking in the bars of luxury hotels. He spent about £500,000 of the money on “food, drink and entertainment”, according to one source. He also gave thousands of pounds to call girls and bought one a Bentley.
“He developed an infatuation with at least a couple of the girls,” said one investigator. “Sometimes thousands of pounds in cash were passed over in envelopes and they could do what they wanted with it.”
He paid off the mortgage of at least one escort — although he failed to do the same for the loan on his own home. According to the economic crime unit of Thames Valley police, there is no suggestion that Hopes’s wife or his two children benefited from the fraud in any way.

Yes, the man was married with children. And yes, the man was willing to make sure that a lady of the evening had a roof over her head before his own family. So, mild-mannered, grey-haired, double-chinned number crunchers that are leading double lives. Consider this your warning. Everyone will be looking at you differently.
Quiet Paul from accounts in £3m secret life of fast cars and call girls [Times Online]

Lesson of the Day: When Requesting a Bogus Tax Refund, Avoid an Excessive Amount

It makes sense that financial crimes increase during a recession. People get desperate and they start taking crazy-ass chances. Crazy-ass chances like, let’s request a tax refund for a couple hundred million dollars.
Justice.gov:

Papers filed in the cases say the defendants prepared tax returns requesting a total of $562.4 million in bogus refunds. One defendant – Dick Jenkins, of Heber City, Utah – allegedly holds himself out as a CPA and requested a $210 million fraudulent refund for one customer. The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) catches the vast majority of the bogus tax returns and blocks the claimed refunds…Altogether, according to the IRS, redemption scheme participants (including customers of the defendants in the seven lawsuits filed this week) have requested a total of $3.3 trillion in fraudulent refunds.

According to the AP, “Officials say the tax preparers often falsely tell customers the government maintains secrets accounts of money for its citizens that can be accessed by filing false returns.”
So your tax preparer tells you that by filing a fake tax return you’ll be able access a secret pile of money. Is this remotely believable? Believable to the point of saying, “Excuse me, Internal Revenue Service, you owe me $210 million”?
Some discretion, people.
DOJ Charges Seven With Seeking $562m of Bogus Tax Refunds [TaxProf Blog]
Feds file suits over $562 million bogus tax claims [AP]

Today in Bad Decisions: Borrowing Money from Your Ex-Mother-in-Law

mother-in-law.jpgDo you have a mother-in-law? How well do you get along with her? Not good, huh? Whatever differences you may have, surely it’s not this bad:

When a former son-in-law in Illinois failed to settle an asserted loan by his ex-mother-in-law to her satisfaction, she gave up on collecting but issued a 1099-C reporting the amount as debt forgiveness income.
Ex-Son-in-Law took it badly, and fought back. He sued Ex-Mom, claiming that because she wasn’t required to issue a 1099-C, it was fraudulent for her to do so.

Borrowing money from your mother-in-law, let alone your ex-mother-in-law is not what we would consider a good life decision. Jesus, especially if you’re a deadbeat. We understand that times are tough but hey, next time around he’ll know.
So this guy is in a tough spot. Solution? Sue her for fraud, of course! The judge in the case said someone issuing an unnecessary 1099 did not constitute fraud so the son’s only remedy now is to argue that the contents of said 1099 were fraudulent. Good luck with that, man. You’re finished.
A Victory For Bitter Ex-Mother-In-Laws Everywhere [Tax Update Blog]