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February 7, 2023

Rant of the Day: Partners and Their F*cking Stupid Sandwich Choices

Looks like we’re reaching that time of year when tensions are just high enough for the small stuff to send some accountants raging but not quite to the point that people are having nervous breakdowns. The busy season sweet spot, basically.

Today’s rant comes courtesy of Fishbowl. Forgive my copious notifications, I know some people have strong feelings about a cluttered notification bar.

Can we please talk about Grant Thornton 2? Good Lord. How dare someone live without debt! The absolute audacity. Oh wait, it was cut off.

Whew. For a second there I was worried I was going to have to go on a long and impassioned tangent about counting other people’s money and capitalist expectations of success. Crisis averted. Moving on.

Right. Maybe I’m confused, but what are partners supposed to eat for lunch if not sandwiches? Prime rib? Lobster? The pineal glands of scared children?

To EY 1’s point, I’m sure most of you have a list in your head at this very moment of 1,000 things worth complaining about that take priority over what a partner has for lunch. Like the firm stealing your vacation pay. Or your colleague stealing your Red Bull from the office fridge. Or slanderous Glassdoor reviews. Or getting groped by a partner dressed as a lumberjack when you’re just trying to have a chill night. I mean, the list is endless here.

The discussion takes an abrupt turn when one user asks what everyone thinks about partners who drive Corollas.

Interestingly enough, we covered the what do public accountants drive issue back in 2013 and the consensus was it’s actually the lower-level staff and interns who seem most interested in flashy rides. I mean, what’s the point of showing off in the parking lot? It’s not like anyone is going to see it.

OK back on topic. At the end of the day, who gives a shit what someone else eats? I mean seriously. Unless “someone else” is stealing your lunch out of the office fridge, who cares?! Let’s remember partners are just like us. Well, except when they’re not.

I leave you with this positively libertarian view on lunch. We should all strive to be so unconcerned with the choices of others that don’t affect us.

p.s. I have no idea what “stripper’s delight” is but in my brief research I have determined you probably shouldn’t Google it at work.

Now, what’s for lunch?

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