A large part of any accountant's job is to write boring answers to boring questions. Most people meet an accountant and think, "Oh, you're good with numbers," and while that's a safe assumption, what really lurks underneath is a masterful chronicler of complex rules in the most banal language possible.
For those accountants who haven't completely abandoned their right brains, writing memos on matters such as internal control procedures or tax law interpretations is an especially painful exercise. For others, the desire to answer dull questions with unfiltered responses burns deep. I know this because I experienced it personally, but also because we've received excellent examples of it.
Here's one from a "burned out" Big 4 auditor who had to "document that a company’s management somehow has appropriately determined that accounting information/data is reliable and complete":
For those not football literate or recently briefed on Tony Romo, refer to this.
Although it might be unwise to submit this to a superior for review, we understand the need to get these things out of your system now and then.
I imagine there's a vast treasure of snarky accountant responses to questions just like these out there. If you're a regular creator of them and think you can top this, we'd love to read your stuff.
