As we mentioned last week, Frank DiPascali, the Chief Financial Officer Accounting Officer Number-Maker-Upper is going to be arraigned today on multiple counts of fraud, conspiracy and other bad stuff that will earn him a permanent wardrobe of bright orange or heavy denim jumpsuits. We’ll update you on the sitch after 3 pm EDT.
Related Posts
Freaky Fraud: The Woman Who Stole $110,000 in Bull Semen From Her Employer
First, if you hate your inventory counts, can you only imagine what it’s like to have to keep tabs on tank after tank of frozen bull semen? Count your blessings, people.
A woman in Ohio pleaded not guilty last week to stealing a tank of bull semen valued at $110,000 from her employer. Authorities say 45 year-old Karen Saum planned to use the semen to extort money out of her employer – the rightful owner of the sperm – to start her own business. I can only imagine what kind of business she planned on starting with the seed money.
Detectives said a tip led them to Saum’s garage, where they found the stolen semen. Just a tip.
Det. James Hollopeter told WHIO TV that Saum used her knowledge of the company’s internal workings to lift only the high quality semen. “She knew where this semen would have been located,” he said. “It was actually locked in an interior closet because it was more valuable that some of the other that they had out.”
Right. Because everyone knows you don’t leave the good shit lying around where any old creepy criminal can get their paws on it.
The SEC Doesn’t Care if ‘The Numbers Don’t Work’
Try to control yourselves, the SEC continues to kick some ass. The Commission has charged Terex Corporation of Westport, CT with accounting fraud:
Check out the details, after the jump
The Securities and Exchange Commission today charged Terex Corporation, a Westport, Conn.-based heavy equipment manufacturer, with accounting fraud for making material misstatements in its own financial reports to investors, as well as aiding and abetting a fraudulent accounting scheme at United Rentals, Inc. (URI), another Connecticut-based public company.
The Commission had previously charged URI executives with fraud back in September when the company paid $14 mil to settle with M. Schape and the gang. Terex is settling for $8 mil.
The complaint alleges that both companies engaged in some shady revenue recognition which enabled them to meet earnings forecasts. It also states that from 2000 to 2004, accountants at Terex couldn’t figure out some of their inter-company transactions so they just decided to RAM some journal entries in there to make it work.
We understand that. Every once in awhile it’s 1 am-ish and you’re looking at a bunch of numbers that are getting blurry and you say “F THIS“. Entry gets made. Done.
Problem is, the SEC doesn’t like that.
SEC Charges Terex Corporation With Accounting Fraud [SEC.gov]
Ernst & Young Employee Shared Sue Sachdeva’s Taste in Loot, Lacked Her Fraudulent Self-control
If you work for a partner who likes shamelessly showing off their money, it’s likely that you will think to yourself one of two things: 1) “What a flashy douchebag.” OR 2) “How do I get to be that flashy douchebag?”
For Lily Aspillera, her thinking was more along the lines of the latter, as she made off with $1.7 million from 2002 to 2008 by writing checks to herself that drew on an account of an E&Y client. She used the cash to buy your run-of-the-mill embezzler items: German cars, jewels, vacations, a nice home, etc.
An executive assistant at the giant accounting firm Ernst & Young has been sentenced to more than two years in federal prison for a $1.7 million embezzlement scheme that helped finance a posh San Francisco home, two BMWs, jewelry and stays at luxury resorts, authorities said Wednesday.
Lily Aspillera, 65, of San Francisco was ordered Tuesday by U.S. District Judge Susan Illston to serve 30 months behind bars for mail fraud and tax evasion.
Impressive. Not necessarily by Sue Sachdeva’s standards but impressive nonetheless. However, Lil’s little scam only last a measly 6 years compared to Sachdeva’s twelve year scam because yes, her own greed got the best of her:
“Like so many who commit fraud, over time she increased the amount of money she embezzled, apparently emboldened by not getting caught,” Assistant U.S. Attorney Doug Sprague wrote in a sentencing memorandum.
Defense attorney Donald Bergerson wrote in court papers that his client “has been punished by her own conscience as much as she can be punished by any term of imprisonment.”
The personal guilt over getting caught – after managing to steal money for only six years – would be pretty overwhelming.