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February 5, 2023

KPMG Employees Seeking Help with Audit Software Might End Up With Phone Sex Instead

kpmg eaudit phone sex cropped

One of the best things about working at a Big 4 firm is that for virtually every problem you encounter, you can dial up an internal hotline and get some help. Computer acting up? There’s a hotline. Forget the basic accounting equation? There’s a hotline. Partners passing along illegal information about PCAOB inspection plans? Um, well, there might be a hotline, but most people don’t seem to know how to use it.

Today, we have an amusing scoop about one of KPMG’s most important hotlines and what happens when that number is perilously similar to one for a phone sex line.

A reader sent in the following screenshot with the message: “Just thought you should try dialing the KPMG support number for eAudit.”

And try it we did! The greeting went like this:

Hi! You’ve reached the home of Vivid’s hottest and horniest porn stars.

“Wait a minute,” you might be saying, “that’s not the KPMG National Support Center!” And to you we would say, “No! No, it’s not!”

Unfortunately, this isn’t much of a mystery. A source within KPMG confirmed that the actual National Support Center number is 1-800-KPMG-HEL (without the P). If you dial the number correctly, you should never end up listening to the seductive introduction tempting you to converse with Vivid’s hottest and horniest porn stars for $1.99 to $4.99 per minute.

However, if you used the number above or somehow misdialed it as 1-800-KPMG-HEP, you will most definitely end up hearing those throaty overtures, and be on an unexpectedly erotic detour on your way to fixing your eAudit problem. For anyone curious enough to try, we advise putting it on speaker phone for the maximum effect.

Going Concern’s email to a KPMG spokesman was not returned.

Image: iStock/bsd555

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