September 27, 2020

I’ll Take “Things That Are Worse Than Failing The CPA Exam” For $500, Alex

Remember when you were a kid and got in trouble? How many specific incidents can you recall in detail now? What about the very worst day of your life? Can you describe every single detail of that day?

We as human beings are programmed to scrub some of those details out because if we didn't, we wouldn't want to stick around on this dickhead of a rock that is constantly trolling us with bad weather, bad dates, bad jobs, bad people… you get it. If we remembered all that stuff all the time, we'd give up as a species.

Failing the CPA exam is sort of like that. At the moment, it feels awful (especially if you've spent half the day refreshing the screen and knew JUST KNEW you nailed it only to find out you actually bombed) but you'll get over it. When I was in CPA review, I'd often have to remind candidates that even if they've failed over and over (and, in some cases, over and over and over and over), eventually only one of two things can happen: either they will pass or they will give up. And if they give up, they might be that 50 year old guy sitting in the back of CPA review class who tried to pass the exam back when I was getting in trouble for beating up the boys in my neighborhood that called me Four Eyes, gave up, and had to drag his ass to class 25 years later to learn exponentially more than he already knew back when he tried to pass the first time around.

Anyway, so this happened yesterday:

We'll agree that's true but it got us thinking, what's even worse than that? Well, the worst is probably not being a CPA at all, ever. As for the middle ground?

We said "having a root canal while listening to Nickelback after you just learned you failed FAR for the 5th time" is probably worse after this guy said "having to listen to Nickelback while failing FAR for your 3rd time" which doesn't entirely make sense because as shitty as those assholes at Prometric are, they aren't that mean.

What do you think is worse than listening to Kenny G while failing the exam?

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