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The Guy Tweeting From Life at Deloitte This Week Might Need a Cold, Post-Workout Kool Aid

As most of you already know, the Life at Deloitte Twitter account is a great source of G-rated PR fluff allegedly written by real Green Dotters. And this week's winner is Steve Nading, a tax senior in Chicago.

Now, unless he's traveling in California for the week – doubtful, since he tweeted "Good morning from Chicago!" on Monday – this tweet at nearly 4pm Central time yesterday isn't exactly something to celebrate.

First of all, it isn't "sneaking out" if you're allowed to do it. Secondly, I really would like an answer to my question. Did Steve end up coming back to the office when he was done? Did he end up hauling a ton of work home when he could have just left at 6pm and sat on the couch with a bag of Funyons for the rest of the night instead? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE REST OF YOUR EVENING, STEVE? I HAVE TO KNOW. And thirdly, you are really captive in a corporate prison if the concept of having the "flexibility" to go the gym is some kind of reward and not an expectation. YOU ARE A FREE HUMAN BEING, STEVE. Unless there are handcuffs and leg irons attached to your rolly chair, you are free to walk out that door at any time and for any reason.

Considering the guy started his day at 6am Chicago time today "heading in for an early start," I'm not sure this alleged "flexibility" is all it's cracked up to be. You want real flexibility, Steve? Take my job. I don't even have to shower most days. As long as my work is done for the day, I can watch cat videos on the Internet and get drunk at noon.

Granted, you will probably make 70x what I do in a lifetime but which of us is happier, do you think?

You think about that while you're shuffling to your fifth meeting of the day pining for that 30 minutes on the treadmill.