Florida Man Proposes a 50% Tax on Feet Pics and Booty Shaking

Posted on by Going Concern News Desk
a fan on a desk, cream and white

Florida gubernatorial candidate James Fishback, who turned 31 on New Year’s Day, has a plan should he somehow beat Trump-endorsed Rep. Byron Donalds in the Republican primary later this year: a 50% tax on OnlyFans. You see, OF is corrupting the minds of young women who think it beats teaching kids or cleaning up after boomers on the oncology floor of the local hospital and he wants to do something about that.

Reports Fox35 Orlando:

“Women used to aspire to be doctors, nurses, journalists, and now they feel the only way they can get by is by selling their bodies to men in distant lands and I’m running to stop that,” Fishback said.

Fishback says the move would raise around $200 million a year. The republican candidate says he plans to put the money from those taxable funds towards the education system.

“If you are a man or woman selling your body on the internet, you can either have two options. The first of which, you can pay the state of Florida 50% so we can raise teacher pay, or you can quit doing that and do something morally rigorous,” Fishback said.

Fishback isn’t mincing words either, he straight up calls it a sin tax. Like in this clip:

Fishback is currently engaged in an online beef with fellow Floridian and top OF earner Sophie Rain who claims she made $95 million on the platform last year alone (can we get some auditors in here please?):

Did you guys know OnlyFans is audited? Well, its parent company Fenix International Limited is. This is from its most recent filing with the UK government:

Get a load of these numbers (pun is absolutely intended):

Revenue of $1.413 billion would put it at #12 on the INSIDE Public Accounting Top 100 if it were an accounting firm, just below CLA ($2.045 bil) and above Plante Moran ($1.195 billion).

It’s doubtful this will go anywhere but it sure makes for interesting chatter.

Related Posts

Would the IRS Take the Heisman Trophy as Payment for Back Taxes?

Maybe! But we’ll get back to that in a minute.

There was a fair amount schadenfreude aimed at the University of Southern California when the school was slapped with sanctions a couple weeks back and at Reggie Bush for his role in the whole sitch.

How Bush really feels about it seems to be a mystery since he’s been quoted saying, “[This] is the closest thing to death without dying” but also a less passionate response, “Whatever happens, happens.”

Borderline schizophrenia aside, Fox News reports that Reg might have to pay some back taxes on the estimated $300,000 in luxury gifts he allegedly received:

“If the entire $300,000 is determined to be taxable,” Los Angeles-based CPA Mark Greenberg said, “about 50 percent of that would go to the IRS and Franchise Tax Board. And with penalties and interest, it could go up to 60 percent since it’s going back a few years.”

Greenberg estimates that Bush, now the star running back for the New Orleans Saints, “ultimately will wind up paying about $150,000,” but “it could be up to $200,000” if his financial team can’t get the penalties and interest waived.

We’re sure Bush would never have to give up his trophy a la the Juice since A) he didn’t kill anyone and B) his sponsors are still firmly in his corner, so the money shouldn’t be a problem. That being said, having the IRS snooping around your financial situation is about annoying as a Keeping Up with the Kardashians marathon.

Kentucky Taxpayers to Partially Fund the Experience of Being on a Gigantic Boat with Animals Crapping Everywhere

Oh, dear.

Kentucky’s state tourism board approved up to $43 million in tax incentives for the construction of Ark Encounter, a creationist theme park.

The tax rebates, which could subsidize up to 25% of the $150 million project, were granted under the Kentucky Tourism Development Act. The state government’s website says that the act “allows eligible tourism attractions a rebate of sales tax up to 25% of project capitol [sic] costs over a 10 year period,” provided that projects have a positive economic impact.

Ark Encounter will include Noah’s Ark, the Tower of Babel, an ancient walled city, and other Biblical renditions. A Christian organization called “Genesis in America” heads the project that is scheduled to break ground in August and open in the spring of 2014.

Taxpayers To Build the Ark: Kentucky Grants Creationist Theme Park $43M in Tax Incentives [Time via Tax Foundation]

4 thoughts on “Florida Man Proposes a 50% Tax on Feet Pics and Booty Shaking”

  1. Tax OnlyFans 50%, and charge DEI organizations a 25% surcharge. These DEI lovers have caused costs to skyrocket while also incurring diminished quality. These sin taxes pay for themselves.

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