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November 27, 2022

Even Savvy Big 4 Professionals Get Freaked Out About All This Retirement Planning Stuff

For many capital market servants, the idea of retirement is a dream. No more spreadsheets, no more commuting, no more awful happy hours where people discuss obscure accounting/tax/advisory projects that makes you put the finger-gun in your mouth and make sound effects. Nothing but beaches, international travel and living off of room service. RIGHT? Well, maybe not so much.  CNBC did a little number on 20-somethings that are freaking the fuck out about retirement because – HOLY JUMPING JEHOSHAPHATS – retirement is just around the corner in about 40 years and if you aren't all over this shit you're going to work until the day you die and that…that, my friends means you are a FAILURE. Since time is of the essence, let's find out exactly what spry 20-something professionals are so worried about RIGHT NOW.

Elena Nikolova, a 23-year-old associate for an energy consultancy in Washington, D.C., has a 401(k) plan through her employer, but has not made a contribution yet. “It’s intimidating. First of all, I don’t know what to invest in, and I’m not even sure this money is going to grow. I feel like I need to hire somebody to do it for me, which defeats the whole purpose,” she added. 
You're doomed, Elena. Just doomed. Maybe you should consult with a professional that handles these sorts of things. Like a savvy numbers type with a respected professional services firm.
Jenny Stein, a 27-year-old senior tax accountant for Ernst & Young, shares similar concerns. “I have a 401(k) with Fidelity through work, but it’s confusing. People say you need to be aggressive with your asset classes when you’re young. I don’t know what that means,” she said.
CRAP! So much for that idea. The good news for Jenny (take notes, Elena) is that many of you are probably aware of this idea of being "aggressive with your asset classes" and would be happy to elaborate further. You might even be so kind as to give that kind of advice for free Secondly, Jenny is 27. Maybe some of you feel like you've been "doing this shit" for too long but rest assured – when you're still in your twenties, there's a LONG WAY TO GO. Plenty of time to get aggressive. 

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