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September 23, 2023

This Deloitte Press Release Has an Awkward Quote From Apolo Ohno

Ahhhh, the Olympics. Competition, national pride, inspiring life stories, a bunch of young athletes swapping bodily fluids for two weeks. It's really a time-honored tradition. A time-honored tradition that needs a professional services firm to guide it through the complexities of international business. Deloitte is that firm and to celebrate its renewal of sponsoring the U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Teams through 2020. In quite predicable fashion, the firm's press release follows the formula that we've come to expect from Big 4 communications: announcement/introduction, quote from someone important, quote from someone else who's less imporant, stats that support firm's awesomeness, conclusion.  

This time around, however, the standard BS press release wouldn't do. This is the Olympics after all and they come only once every two years. This particular occasion calls for a little extra panache. No

"The culture at Deloitte is unique, positive and contagious, and I am happy to be a part of this team," said Apolo Anton Ohno, eight-time Olympic medalist.

So a multi-medalist in speed skating (remind me, is that a summer sport?) who also is a Dancing with the Stars champion is now commenting on the culture of Deloitte and identifies as one of the team?  I suppose that's just something speed skaters and golfers have to say when they are paid the big bucks, but couldn't they have come up with something a little less cliché? I mean, look at this guy. First off: what? Secondly, that goatee screams nothing but "baaaaa."  Thirdly, what's contagious about Deloitte? The insider trading? Giving awful interviews? The independence violations? Resigning from Chinese clients? The baldness? I need some help here.

[via Deloitte]

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