Cynical Executives are Expecting More Bad Behavior Out of You

Posted on by Caleb Newquist

fraud.jpgLet’s talk about fraud, friends. We’re all sure that you’re number crunching sleuths and that no accounting hocus-pocus would ever get past you but apparently executives are still expecting more of it. This probably means one of two things: A) You’re not as smart as you think you are, or 2) You’re in on it.
Now, we should clarify that in Web CPA’s piece, these executives polled expect a rise in one of three areas: “financial reporting, asset misappropriation, or as another illegal or unethical act”. If you’re involved in the first kind, that’s boring. If you’re involved in the second kind, we suggest you retain counsel.
More, after the jump.


We’d like to focus on the “illegal and unethical act” part. Now, assuming you’ve passed the CPA, and also passed the grueling ethics exam that most states require, this shouldn’t be an issue for you.
For the rest of you, we’re assuming that your typical day is rife with unethical behavior. Some of you are probably unable to consume lunch and turn the entire work environment into a biohazard. So what we’re getting at here is that your clients and/or bosses don’t trust seem to trust you. We’re sure they’re right. We want to know why.
What kind of chicanery is going on that the bigwigs wouldn’t want to know about? Do you jimmy the vending machine on a regular basis for your lunch? Are you raiding the supply closet to build replicas of the [insert city here] skyline with staples? Let’s keep it to minor offenses though. Nothing that qualifies as misdemeanors and above will be allowed.

Related Posts

The Restatement That Never Ends: KPMG Hasn’t Received Necessary Docs for Satyam

Back in June we told you about Satyam requesting just a wee bit more time to nail down their restatement of their financial statements. It wasn’t because KPMG and Deloitte weren’t working their asses off, it was more of commitment to get things right. Putting good numbers out there, repairing broken trust, so on and so forth.

Well! The three month extension ends next month but as you might expect, there’s a bit of a problem. More specifically, KPMG is now saying that they haven’t received the documentation necessary to finish the job. Unless everyone is okay with some wild-ass guesses, in which case they can proceed.

[F]or all its documents, KPMG had to depend on the [Central Bureau of Investigation (“CBI”), which is investigating the scam.

NDTV has learnt that KPMG’s analysis of the documents don’t match with the CBI’s. There is a discrepancy between the two which amounts to over [$200 million].

CBI has based its calculations on estimates of Satyam’s assets and liabilities while KPMG says they need documentation to base their estimates.

KPMG says that they didn’t get all the documents needed to make a clear assessment which is why the accounts are likely to be re-stated full of riders.

But again, if you’re cool with some double-entry hocus-pocus, that can be arranged. There’s a merger at stake after all, “This confusion in the numbers could hold up Satyam’s merger with Tech Mahindra, which needs the go ahead from market regulators in India and the US, since Satyam is also listed in the US.”

Good luck getting that U.S. approval.

Satyam accounts restatement: KPMG’s analysis differs with CBI’s [NDTV]

Sam Antar at Stanford: Jr. Deputy Accountant Gets a Live Dose of the Criminal Mind

Last week, I took the day off from work and headed down the 101 to sit in on former Crazy Eddie CFO and self-proclaimed criminal Sam E. Antar speaking to Stanford MBA students on, what else, fraud and the criminal mind. Sam is a friend of both JDA and Going Concern and it was excellent to see him recount the Crazy Eddie story to an auditorium of future MBAs.

Ironically, he showed up wearing an SEC baseball cap, which is akin to JDA owning a Federal Reserve hoodie (I do) and didn’t waste a second getting to the point of his visit.

“I’m gonna be the guy that fucks you guys up,” he told the room before beginning the presentation, “I’m a racist and a scum bag but I hate everyone equally.”


I could literally see the audience squirm in response. I already knew Sam was a tad offensive and was counting on getting an extra dose of it; there was no squirming in the media corner.

“Political correctness helps the criminal, not you,” he explained, “It limits your behavior, not the criminal’s.”

Right.

Sam went into auditor standards like the fraud triangle though insisted there is no such thing as rationalization. “Criminals know right from wrong. We don’t plan on failure.”

We even got to see a vintage Crazy Eddie ad spot as Sam’s presentation was spliced with images from the 2006 Court TV episode of Masterminds detailing the Crazy Eddie fraud. That’s for the sections that Sam doesn’t tell you; the details are plentiful in his spiel though don’t let that catch you off guard, he insists he is still just as dangerous as he was before he was caught.

You can get the Crazy Eddie backstory from Sam’s Web site (if you aren’t fortunate enough to be able to play hooky and see him spook Stanford MBA students in person) here, here, and here. If you get the chance, I highly recommend checking him out live (leave your valuables in the car).

And then there’s the video of Sam and Eddie meeting up decades after their fraud was discovered — and Sam gave up his family (and, consequently, himself) — that I recommend you not miss.

So long as there are unqualified auditors being piled into audits they aren’t trained to perform, there will be guys like Sam E. Antar figuring out a way to distract, deter, and delude them, no matter what it takes. For Crazy Eddie, it didn’t take much. What’s to say things have changed?

Sam Antar Photograph by Buck Ennis for Crain’s New York Business and Investment News.