This summer has not been the most stellar at the House of Klynveld. The news of forced rankings has overshadowed the ice cream screams, and with no Omaha Steaks in sight, many are in need of something to get them through the rest of summer.
Perhaps this is the week that it all turns around:
KPMG's compensation is being communicated starting tomorrow 7/9 through Friday 7/20.
The timing is consistent with last year's earlier discussions starting that were moved up "in the interest of getting people to not quit" although morale always seems to be an issue at KPMG so it's hard to say how successful the moved-up timeline has been.
If you're scheduled to sit down in the coming days, share your excitement in the comments below and we'll keep this thread updated as tips come in. And if the news isn't good, just grab some Cherry Garcia and weep in the break room for a while until you're ready to talk about it.
Earlier this week we shared with you the latest analysis from KPMG that listed “key fraudster traits” and some of them seemed to describe a lot of the people you have worked or are currently working for. Things like “volatile,” “unreliability,” “unhappy,” and “self-interested” describes everyone I’ve ever been in around in the corporate world to one extent or another.
Since I was skeptical of this list, I asked Sam Antar what he thought of it. If you’ve been reading us for awhile, you’re familiar with Sam. If you’re new, I’ll do a quick refresher. Sam was the CFO of Crazy Eddie’s and was one of the masterminds behind one of the biggest financial frauds of the 1980s. While you (and I) were eating cereal in front of the TV on Saturday morning, Sam and his cousin Eddie were selling electronics and home appliances to our parents for rock bottom prices, while ripping off the government and investors for untold millions of dollars. In other words, the guy is a crook and knew/knows lots of crooks and knows their hopes (read: money), their dreams (read: money) all that crap (read: more money) and what they’ll do to get them. With that, Sam told me what he thought of KPMG’s analysis:
I was both a friendly and likable crook who treated my enablers real well as I took advantage of them. I treated my victims even better than my enablers, as I emptied their pockets. Old saying, “You can steal more with a smile, than a gun.” KPMG knows nothing about the character traits of criminals. They couldn’t even catch me as Crazy Eddie’s auditors. They trusted me!
So maybe – JUST MAYBE – you should also be wary of the client or co-worker that you really like because he/she takes you to lunch every day, gets you laid, takes you for rides in a fancy car or invites you to coke-fueled weekend ragers with seemingly no strings attached. Plus any client that has a viral marketing campaign should get an extra look:
