Category: News

How Are Accountants Dealing with Their Co-workers Who Are Planning for the Rapture?

Today in Brits worry about the strangest things news, an AccountingWEB UK reader has Rapture fever and wonders if anyone else still down here is going to call it quits come Monday.

The Rapture is upon us (according to a man in the US) so, as shown in the Simpsons, I will soon be ‘left below’, as will, I imagine, many of my fellow board users.

Anyone else have a sudden urge not to do any of their accounts/tax backlogs, given the world as we know it won’t exist on Monday?

For starters, there are plenty of men, women, children and family pets (not just “a man in the US”) that believe that the Son of God will be gracing us with his presence this Saturday and judging by what people are paying for one share of LinkedIn stock, the odds have narrowed that it’s going to happen. That said, I overheared the Big Guy himself say that Saturday ain’t the day. The question is, how do you handle the crazy accountants in your office that are planning for the Rapture? Do you:

A) Mock them openly first thing Monday morning.

B) Claim to know who the identity of the Antichrist (it’s me!).

C) Ask politely, that in the event that the person’s significant other happens to be left behind, if you can hit that.

D) Start digging through their drawers for supplies.

E) Convince them to wait it out in a JIT.

F) Your ideas.

Tom Coburn: The Gang of Six’s Abysmal Failure Is Not The Gang of Six’s Fault

I understand the disappointment, and real danger, associated with our impasse. The question, though, is not how we tried and failed but why the Senate has not even tried. Commissions and “gangs” form when members lose confidence in the institutions in which they serve. Working groups have their place — but they should support, not replace, the open work of the full Senate. The truth is that we already have a permanent standing debt commission. It’s called Congress. [WaPo]

GSI Group: Internal Controls Won’t Be an Issue Going Forward

GSI Group Inc. (GSIG) said it reached a settlement with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission by consenting to a cease and desist order related to accusations that it improperly recognized revenue on certain transactions at its semiconductor business from at least 2004 through June 2008, partly because of insufficient internal controls. The SEC alleged that as a result, the supplier of precision technology and semiconductor systems had overstated revenue by 0.7% in 2004, 1.4% in 2005, 17% in 2006 and 5% in 2007 and by 13% and 5.6% in the first and second quarters of 2008. The company said it agreed to the settlement without admitting or denying the SEC finding and wasn’t charged with fraud or required to pay any penalties. “GSI fully cooperated with the SEC in its two year investigation and has undertaken a number of corrective actions and internal control enhancements,” said Chief Executive John Roush. [Dow Jones]

Two San Jose State Accounting Students Killed in Bizarre Murder-Suicide

Cindy Caliguiran, 25 and Kyle Williams, 26, both accounting majors at San Jose State University in Northern California, were gunned down by Caliguiran’s 54-year-old engineer husband on Tuesday.

From the Mercury News:

Waiting with a gun on the fifth floor of the campus garage was her husband — a Silicon Valley engineer more than twice her age. A classmate heard the screams — then gunfire — reverberate through the concrete parking structure.

Within minutes, police found Cindy Caliguiran and Williams dead, shot repeatedly, in the front seat of her black 2005 Mercedes. Napoleon “Nappy” Caliguiran lay next to the car, mortally wounded from a self-inflicted gunshot.

On Thursday, shocked students and faculty members learned the identities of the first San Jose State students ever killed on campus — both honor students, both married, one with a job at a major accounting firm waiting.

But the campus community was still trying to comprehend why the 54-year-old native of the Philippines tracked down his bride of three years Tuesday night about 8:30 with a gun registered in his name.

All reports are Caliguiran and Williams were not romantically involved. Williams had been married for two years and was headed to PwC after graduation, while Caliguiran had been married to her nutjob husband, Napoleon “Nappy” Caliguiran (described as a “soft character” by his former brother-in-law), for three. Based on reports, you might conclude that he was jealous of his much younger wife’s friend:

The Caliguirans lived on the fourth floor of the Élan Village apartment complex in North San Jose. A downstairs neighbor who didn’t want to be identified said that although he never met the couple, about two weeks ago they were so loud upstairs that he called security. He was awakened by heavy stomping upstairs, he said. When asked whether the couple was fighting, he said, “something like that.”

SJSU shooting: 3 who died ID’d as student, 25; her husband, 54; another student, 26 [SJMN]

Brazilian Accountant Wins the Right to Watch Porn, Masturbate at Work

A least one accountant at the SEC is getting his lawyer on the phone as we speak.


PerezHilton:

Ana Catarian Bezerra, a 36-year-old Brazilian accountant who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality, has won the right to masturbate and watch porn at work!

Since she knew the only way to cure her anxiety was to masturbate, she knew she needed help, explaining:

“I got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That’s when I asked for help, I knew it wasn’t normal.”

After getting some medical attention and a prescription “cocktail” of tranquilizers, NOW she only masturbates a few eight times a day. Still A LOT of masturbation, but A LOT LESS than before.

Due to her orgasmic medical condition, she took her employer to court in order to be allowed to masturbate on the clock and WON.

Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work [Guanabee via PH]

We’ve More or Less Got Converged Fair Value Accounting Standards

As CFO notes, “[T]he largest differences may lie in the differences between British and American English,” but these are the ones you’ve been waiting for.

The International Accounting Standards Board (IASB) and the Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB) today issued new guidance on fair value measurement and disclosure requirements for International Financial Reporting Standards (IFRSs) and US generally accepted accounting principles (GAAP).

The guidance, set out in IFRS 13 Fair Value Measurement and an update to Topic 820 in the FASB’s Accounting Standards Codification® (formerly referred to as SFAS 157), completes a major project of the boards’ joint work to improve IFRSs and US GAAP and to bring about their convergence.

The harmonisation of fair value measurement and disclosure requirements internationally also forms an important element of the boards’ response to the global financial crisis.

Of course what’s most important is that wily Scotsman and knight of the double-entry roundtable Sir David Tweedie will be able to call it a career knowing that he saw this thing through. He sounds pretty pleased with the effort saying, “The finalisation of this project marks the completion of a major convergence project and is a fundamentally important element of our joint response to the global financial crisis. The result is clearer and more consistent guidance on measuring fair value, where its use is already required.” Hans, you can take it from here.

Grover Norquist Advises Obama on How to Win Texas in 2012, Reaffirms Ability to Get Sassy

As we’ve noted before, you’d be wrong if you thought Ronald Reagan worshipper and ATR President Grover Norquist and his merry band of anti-tax orcs weren’t capable of a pinch of sass:

Obama should focus on winning the electoral votes of Texas. He could highlight his ongoing efforts to destroy the oil and gas industry through taxation and regulation. Also his hostility to the Second Amendment. And spending binges and tax hikes. The small-minded will not see the opportunity for Obama in Texas, but with enough money spent in the state and not frittered away in Virginia and Florida good things can happen for America.

Or a punch of sass.

[via Politico via ATR]

Sitting At Your Desk Is Killing You

Did you need more proof that your job sucks? How about this infographic:

According to the graphic, we now sit 9.3 hours a day, far more than the 7.7 hours we spend sleeping. Our hunter/gatherer bodies just weren’t built for this lifestyle.

Sitting for more than 6 hours a day makes you 40% more likely to die within 15 years versus someone who sits for fewer than 3 hours a day. Exercise does not offset this increased risk of premature death.

Those who sit in front of the TV for 3 hours or more a day are 64% more likely to die of heart disease.

So what can you do besides quitting your job to roam the fields for buffalo day in and day out? Try some of these busy season exercise tips from AccountingWEB for starters. My favorite is working at my desk while sitting on an exercise ball; it helps correct my posture and offers a core workout while I’m humming away at my laptop.

Enjoy!

Infographic courtesy Medical Billing and Coding

So You Want to Submit Something to Going Concern…

Since Caleb is really bogged down chasing misinformed merger rumors and babysitting his contributor(s), I thought I’d take a moment to set some ground rules for reader contributions. We get that question via e-mail a lot and, as you may notice, very rarely publish reader submissions. Let me tell you why.

First, if you expect us to publish something, how about you start by recognizing the tone of this website? We try our best not to waste our readers’ time with bullshit press releases, fluff pieces, and the usual PR crap that other accounting websites are built around. That is not what we do here and we aren’t going to start now so please, don’t bother. If you can’t take the time to acknowledge the voice of this website and respect the attention span of our readers, we aren’t going to take the time to read the crap you have sent us. If you send us an unsolicited email that looks like it could have gone out to every other accounting website out there, we know you aren’t a fan of the site and have no idea how we roll. Therefore, odds are pretty good that we will ignore your request. You’ve been warned.

Second, this ain’t no motherfucking Wiki. Meaning we are more than happy to publish reader material (still waiting for Bitter Audit Manager’s resignation letter) but beyond the comments, this is not a collaborative venture. Caleb writes, I write, you guys berate us, we adjust future content appropriately… you get the point. We invite you to contribute through criticism, suggestions and, of course, by tipping us to where the news is. And if you have a point to make and want to use this avenue to make it, you are more than welcome to do so, just make sure you come at us correctly. Which brings me to my next point…

It takes a lot of alcohol and therapy to do this day in and day out. Caleb and I try our best to bring you what you want and take our job seriously. If you have a submission, we expect that it fits with the overall attitude of this website. We have stringent quality requirements (Caleb’s rampant typos excluded, of course) related to the tone we work hard to maintain.

Self-deprecating humor earns points with us, as does bitterness, honesty, cleverness and general brilliance. We have no patience for uptight professionalism and anal-retentive seriousness, you can find plenty of that on other accounting websites.

So if you still want to submit something to us to publish, keep these things in mind. Shoot us a note and include your submission but please, save all of us the bother if you can’t respect these simple rules.

Canadian Accountants Are Less Social Media Savvy, More Concerned About Work-Life Balance

In February, Sage revealed some disturbing results based on a random survey of 500 U.S. members of its Sage Accountants Network. Of them, U.S. respondents were a tad behind the curve when it comes to social media (shocker) and obsessed with finding new clients.

This time around, Sage North America surveyed 200 of its French-Speaking Canadian Sage Accountants Network members and discovered the following:

Among the 947 respondents, the biggest challenge facing their firms was tied at 34 per cent for time management and work-life balance, followed by keeping up with technology at 29 per cent. This was a stark contrast to their American counterparts who reported that their biggest challenge was getting new clients (35%), tax law complexity and changes (22%) and the effect of new regulations and standards on small firms (25%).

In terms of social media, the survey indicates a slower adoption rate among Canadian respondents than their U.S. counterparts with 58 per cent stating that they aren’t using any social media tools in a professional capacity compared to 43 per cent of those in the US. In fact, only 23 per cent of respondents’ firms have a website compared to 37 per cent in the U.S. For those using social media, the survey reveals that the key tools that are being used are LinkedIn (22%) and Facebook (18%).

Although there are numerous Canadian accounting professional association publications, when asked which accounting publications respondents read, 56 per cent stated that they do not read anything compared to only 19 per cent of U.S. respondents.

It’s that last number that is most upsetting. No one is suggesting accountants have to be on top of breaking news but as financial planners, advisers and business minds, it’s sort of important that they at least attempt to keep up with the profession (*ahem*). It’s not like there’s a lot to break all the damn time.

Citizens of Ohio Town Unleash Rage on Area Hoteliers That Is Normally Reserved for H&R Block Employees

So this happened:

An Ohio hotel has been fending off angry phone calls because a broken rope on its flagpole led some to think the business was mourning the death of Osama bin Laden. The rope left the U.S. flag stuck at half-staff outside a Hampton Inn in Springfield in western Ohio two days before bin Laden was killed, its assistant general manager Connie Smith told msnbc.com. However, people started noticing the flag and assuming its position was in honor of bin Laden on Tuesday. The hotel and its company received dozens of calls from people who were either upset or angry. One threatened to run the hoteliers out of town.

Ohio hotel: Half-staff U.S. flag not mourning bin Laden [MSNBC]
Earlier: Today in Tax-Related Violence: Man Shoots at H&R Block Employee for a Mistake on His Tax Return