Category: IRS

Apparently This Is the IRS Being Funny About Taxes

We can’t come up with a better explanation for their Tax Quotes page. Treasury regulations forbid the IRS from implying that inclusion of a quote here means they are at all endorsing tax revolt and/or humor in any form.

“Taxes are what we pay for civilized society.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., U.S. Supreme Court Justice

“I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.” — Arthur Godfrey, entertainer

“People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.” — Unknown

“No government can exist without taxation. This money must necessarily be levied on the people; and the grand art consists of levying so as not to oppress.” — Frederick the Great, 18th Century Prussian king

“Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.” — Lord Bramwell, 19th Century English jurist

“The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” — Arthur C. Clarke, author

“Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.” — F. J. Raymond, humorist

A tax loophole is “something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.” — Russell B. Long, U.S. Senator

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” — Albert Einstein, physicist

“Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.” — Gerald Barzan, humorist

“Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.” — Will Rogers, humorist

A Prison Guard Is Now Equally as Effective at Busting Tax Cheats as the IRS

As we have learned, residents of our prison system have proven to be quite savvy at obtaining tax credits, including those intended for first-time homebuyers, alternative-fuel vehicles as well as filing bogus tax returns in order to receive refunds. These scams go along swimmingly until the IRS gets wind of it (anywhere from months to years later), at which time local (and sometimes national) media have some nice filler.


In the latest case of a prisoner tax schemed sniffed out, Troy Fears – who is enjoying a life’s stay in an Arizona prison for rape – spent 2005 to 2009 filing fake tax returns and obtained $119k in the process. He was using “fake W-2’s and apparently said he was filing other inmates’ taxes. He convinced other prisoners he was applying for grants on their behalf so he could get their Social Security numbers.” According to court papers, the IRS was missing this particular scam because “IRS routes [direct deposits] without making sure the name on the account matches the return.” The jig was up when a prison guard intercepted his mail, presumably figured out the tax returns were fakes, and called the authorities. Fears got four years tacked on to his sentence and the guard responsible for catching him can probably expect a “Deputy IRS Agent” certificate (signed by Doug Shulman, natch) in the mail any day now.

Jailed Rapist Gets $119K From Fake Tax Returns [KPHO via TaxProf]

IRS, DOJ Want a Peek at Some HSBC India Bank Accounts

Back in February, the IRS announced that it would be giving offshore bank account holders another chance to come clean on their tax-avoiding ways. Tax amnesty 1.0 went pretty well and last year, the IRS had a whale of time sticking it to UBS and a number of customers who were holding out. But in all honesty, we all know that picking off a bunch of blondes with above-average chocolatiering skills was some low-hanging fruit. Today the IRS, along with the DOJ, announced their next target of their sniffing-out-offshore-bank-account world tour. HSBC India! – come on down!

The United States is seeking an order from a federal court in San Francisco authorizing the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) to request information from HSBC Bank USA, N.A. about U.S. residents who may be using accounts at The Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation in India (HSBC India) to evade federal income taxes, the Justice Department announced today.

The government filed a petition with the court to allow the IRS to serve what is known as a “John Doe” summons on the bank. The IRS uses a John Doe summons to obtain information about possible tax fraud by people whose identities are unknown. If approved, the John Doe summons would direct HSBC USA to produce records identifying U.S. taxpayers with accounts at HSBC India, many of whom are believed by the government to have hidden their accounts from the IRS.

And if anyone is getting the idea that this is an HSBC/Hong Kong/India issue, Doug Shulman would like you to know that this is not personal, it’s simply the IRS doing the Treasury’s dirty work, “The IRS continues to focus its attention on international tax evasion,” the Commish said. “This summons request is focused on obtaining more information to help us determine if additional actions are needed. As I’ve said all along, our international efforts are not about just one country or one bank – it’s about our wider effort to ensure compliance with the nation’s tax laws.”

The Treasury isn’t going to fill itself now, is it?

[via WSJ]

The IRS Claims That Wind Broke This Sign

Dan Zak of the Washington Post posted this photo last night wondering how such a thing could happen – wind or some angry taxpayer who felt it necessary to destroy public property:


If you live in the District, you’re probably familiar with them and DZ illustrates:

They look bland and procedural and definitely of the post-Watergate era. And they look and feel sturdy. Like it would take a hurricane to snap one in half. Winds did reach 65 mph on Feb. 25 in the D.C. area, and the IRS says it has security footage of the ensuing decapitation-by-Mother Nature at the southwest corner of 12th Street and Constitution Avenue NW.

They will not show the footage to us.

Okay, so that’s an obvious non-denial denial. Some pointy-headed engineering types from the Universities of Maryland and Virginia that gusty winds can’t be ruled out but come on. They’ve been there since late 70s? What’s the useful life on one of those bad boys? It’s gotta be 40 years, no? Anyhoo, Zak got the opinion of a tourist from Lubbock, Texas who says it’s definitely vandalism, “Because it’s the IRS. [DUH, *eyeroll*]”

Did vandalism or wind claim an IRS sign downtown? [WaPo]

IRS Commish Admits That a Government Shutdown During Tax Season Would Be Kinda Weird

The head of the IRS said Thursday that a government shutdown during tax season would be a challenge the agency has never confronted before — and one that would become more complicated as the April filing deadline draws closer. Doug Shulman, the IRS commissioner, also signaled at a House Ways and Means subcommittee hearing that his agency was discussing how to address a potential shutdown with the Obama administration, though he did not spell out any details of those talks. “We run a $13 billion financial services operation, so the idea of stopping it for a few days or a few weeks is strange,” Shulman said, adding that he was hopeful, based on ongoing negotiations, that a shutdown could be averted. [The Hill]

This Wouldn’t Do Much for the Popularity of IRS Agents

Under a GOP-backed bill expected to sail through the House of Representatives, the Internal Revenue Service would be forced to police how Americans have paid for their abortions. To ensure that taxpayers complied with the law, IRS agents would have to investigate whether certain terminated pregnancies were the result of rape or incest. And one tax expert says that the measure could even lead to questions on tax forms: Have you had an abortion? Did you keep your receipt? [MoJo]

Tim Geithner: Cutting IRS Budget Hurts Taxpayers

FYI to any members of Congress who still think it’s a good idea:

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner on Wednesday said potential cuts to the Internal Revenue Service budget would damage the agency’s ability to collect revenues. “Any substantial cuts to the IRS budget will hurt revenue collection and service to taxpayers, resulting in unanswered phone calls and letters,” Geithner said in the text of remarks prepared for a House Appropriations subcommittee hearing.

Never mind the fact that taxpayers are getting a lot of bang for their buck:

“The customer service and enforcement programs at the IRS provide one of the best values in the federal government,” Geithner said.

What else do you need to know?

Geithner: Cuts To IRS Budget Would Hurt Revenue Collection [Dow Jones]

Three Ways to Get on the IRS’s Good Side This Tax Season

All this resentment of the IRS has got to stop. It’s counter-productive, cowardly and most of all, annoying. The gang at Boulder, Colorado-based Webroot understands that you shoo away more IRS flies with honey than with vinegar, so they’ve made a simple suggestion: “This tax season get on the IRS’s good side.”

How does one do that, you ask? Well, Webroot has given you three options to show some love:


1. Send a flower to Doug Shulman – Behind that rough exterior, The Commish is a softee. Sign up for this option and a flower will be added to the bouquet and your name included on a card that will accompany warm his bureaucratic heart. You do have the option of donating a flower anonymously if you’re still not sure Dougie is nothing but a taxborg that gets plugged in every evening.

2. Pro-IRS Stamps – Don’t you just love it when you get unique stamps in the mail? Imagine how good you would feel if the stamp had a tattoo heart with your name in the middle of it. I’ll bet the IRS would like it if you used one to mail in your tax return. Those “Forever” stamps are boring anyway.

3. Like the IRS on Facebook – Seriously, people. Is there a better way to show your appreciation? Besides, I’ve seen what some of you ‘Like’ on FB and quite honestly, it’s far more embarrassing than liking the IRS.

While the IRS Was Collecting Young Buck’s Scarface Poster and Various Other Material Possessions, They Allegedly Found a Gun

Normally, as 2nd Amendment enthusiasts will tell you, this would be NBD but if you were convicted of stabbing someone in 2004, then it’s a big no-no.

According to an indictment unsealed Monday, he’s charged with being a convicted felon in possession of a .40-caliber pistol and ammunition. Federal authorities said all this happened on or about Aug. 3. That was about the same time federal agents raided his Hendersonville home. Records that Channel 4 obtained showed that the 29-year-old owed about $300,000 in taxes dating back to 2006.

YB pleaded not guilty to the charges. As you may recall, the IRS rounded up Royal Copenhagen Bear Figurines, a Tennessee Titans refrigerator, Louis Vuitton gun holster among other things, with the intent to auction them off. Mr Buck didn’t take this very well, got his lawyer to stop the auction and he subsequently sued the Service for his inability make a living. The IRS was not impressed and now they seem to be done playing games; YB faces ten years if convicted.

Nashville Rapper Facing Federal Charges [WSMV]

The Ol’ Send-an-Envelope-Filled-with-White-Powder-to-the-IRS Trick Still Works for Some People

Besides bomb threats, another sign that the traditional tax season is in full swing is when an IRS office receives an envelope containing white powder. Today, the location in Holtsville, NY got the pleasure.

Nearly 60 workers at an Internal Revenue Service office on eastern Long Island were briefly evacuated after an employee opened an envelope containing a suspicious powder. An IRS spokeswoman says the substance was later determined to be baking soda.

No injuries were reported and it was less than hour before everyone was back to work, which barely enough time to get a bagel and a second cup of coffee. It makes us wonder if any IRS employees secretly wish for a dangerous substance to come in the mail to get out work. Day after day thinking, “God, this is awful. Maybe some anthrax will show up today. Am I that lucky? Probably not. But maybe if I concentrate real hard some will show up. [closes eyes, folds hands] Come on, anthrax. Just this once. Come on anthrax.”

Suspicious powder at NY IRS office is baking soda [AP]

Senators Introduce Bill That Would Require IRS to Produce 310 Million (or so) Receipts

Plenty of horrendous ideas get introduced inside the hallowed walls of Congress but the latest submission from Bill Nelson (D-FL) and Scott Brown (R-MA) ranks right up there:

Sens. Bill Nelson (D-Fla.), chairman of the Senate Finance subcommittee on Fiscal Responsibility and Economic Growth, and Scott Brown (R-Mass.) introduced the measure Wednesday that would require the IRS to provide each taxpayer with an itemized list, similar to a grocery store receipt, that shows where their payroll and income taxes are spent. “Taxpayers have a right to know where their money goes, how much Uncle Sam is borrowing on their behalf, and what they get in return for it,” Nelson said.

Yeah, no problem. New responsibilities under healthcare reform, chasing offshore accounts, not to mention your everyday tax compliance and enforcement. This will be a piece of cake since the the Service’s budget is getting slashed.

Senators introduce bill that would provide detailed tax receipt [The Hill]