Author: Caleb Newquist

Founding editor, Going Concern.

Follow up Rumor: Green-dotter Merit Increase Edition

DTa.jpgAfter hearing speculation last week that Green-dotters were getting froze out, we got some potential details on the lucky few of you in the Northeast:
Get the scoop, after the jump

I’ve been told by a reliable source that merit increases will be available for 1s and 2s, but not for the majority of 3s and def not for 4s or 5s. On the AIP (bonus) side of the house, >50% of 3s and all 1s and 2s will get them. Of course, the actual amount will be smaller, I’ve also heard ~2% pool.

So, if you find yourself lucky enough to be on the good side of a particularly well connected senior partner, you might see a bump for all your trouble. Since performance rating cuts are all the rage these days, sources tell us the number of 1 and 2 will be scarce. We’d advise serious ass kissing but at this point you’re probably just getting the jump on next year (if you’re around).

Fill Wrap Up and Final Performance Review

For you duffers out there awaiting our Fill wrap up, we’re sure that your anxiety levels have reached such a level that you gave serious consideration to holding up the nearest drug store to get your mitts on some Zoloft. Fortunately, your patience has paid off as this post will wrap up our Fill coverage and also serve as official final performance review.
Thank the Maker that this one is over. Fill managed to shoot another +4 round yesterday to finish at +12 for the tournament and lock up his quest to not finish second at the PGA Championship. The silver medal went to…Tiger Woods unexpectedly but we’ll let the sports geeks dissect that one.
As for us, we’re here to give you Fill’s final 9 box rating and to give you an idea of what his future with the Radio Station looks like.
Check out the final rating after the jump.


moneybags.jpg
As you can see, no final 9 box rating was necessary. Fill’s future is as bright as ever. He will continue to do grip n’ grins with Tim Flynn and he will need to use dumptrucks to transport all of his cash. This all will occur while he has consistently disappointed on the golf course but thrived as a billboard for the Radio Station by pulling a hat down on his melon.
Hmmm, an underachiever but consistently rewarded. Sound like anyone you know?
Earlier:
GC Weekend: Fill Has Broken the Mold
GC Weekend: Following Fill at the PGA Championship

More Money Talk

money.jpgIn another follow up, we got a decent thread going last week when we brought up starting salaries for your soon-to-be new associates that will be messing up your dinner orders this fall and winter.
We got a request to open up the discussion to number crunchers at all levels so that everyone can get a good idea of who is paying what, where.
Our requester was kind enough to give their details: First year tax senior associate, Houston, Big 4 firm, makes $67k.
More, after the jump


Anonymous Coward 49 in last week’s thread segues nicely as well, listing the amounts for audit professionals at the Radio Station Dallas office for the associate and senior associate levels. Coward notwithstanding, we would say that they are well informed, so we don’t expect all of you give that level of detail but we would request the following:
• Level – Associate, Senior, Manager, etc. We know there are partners reading so please, feel free to share and make us all jealous.
• Practice – Audit, Tax, Advisory, Transaction Services, and Consulting for you Green-dotters.
• City and Firm – We want details from every corner. If you’re a senior associate at Rothstein Kass or Miller Kaplan and you know you’re making bank compared to those Big 4 losers, let ’em know it.
All right, get on with it.

KPMG Decides that Eating Lunch While Traveling for Work is Acceptable

penny.jpgLast week we learned about KPMG’s latest effort to do some belt tightening for the last two months of their fiscal year. These penny pinching plans included, most notably, filling your stockings with coal before winter.
On Thursday of last week a lot of the Kylnveldians, mostly in the Northeast, had not received the gracious and long winded email. Our suspicions at that time were that Tim Flynn and Co. were reconsidering the butchering of time honored tradition of drunken idiocy on company dime.
More, after the jump


Turns out out we were half right. It was noted in the comments and we received several tips that the Radio Station did indeed cave on their grand idea of not letting traveling partners and professionals expense their lunches “since this is a meal that one would buy during the workday regardless of location.”
If we were to guess, this would have been #2 on the list of the new policies that garnered most of your wrath. Well, you must have let them know because the firm then came out with this:

after hearing feedback from many of you about the short-term change to meal reimbursement policy, the firm has decided that for now the existing meal reimbursement policy provides the appropriate level of flexibility and room for judgement when it comes ot managing the cost of meals while traveling….

So FOR NOW your ass better get used to value menus and $5 footlongs because we’re guessing that’s the meaning of “ROOM FOR JUDGMENT“. If there has been more correspondence from up on high about this particular issue send us the details or discuss in the comments. On the other hand, folks in the Northeast, if you’re still in the dark, let us know.
Oh, and Santa Claus is still not coming to town.

Preliminary Analytics | 08.17.09

BuffettCarriesLunch.standard.jpg• What Buffett’s Firm Bought and Sold WB continues to be long on folksy yet risque analogies. [DealBook]
• US banknotes show cocaine traces – 95% of dollar bill in DC have traces of cola which we find hilarious and just solidifies any preconceived notions we had about our esteemed elected officials. Other cities that had cash with high levels of the llello are Baltimore, Boston, and Detroit. [BBC]
• UBS Tax Crackdown Widens to Hong Kong -“On Friday, John McCarthy, a UBS client in California, agreed to plead guilty to one count of failing to file an annual report to the Treasury Department. A document filed with the plea shows the tax scheme relied in part on channeling funds to a Swiss UBS account held in the name of a Hong Kong entity, the second time accounts in the Asian financial hub have figured in these cases.” [WSJ]
• BB&T Plans $750 Million Share Sale After Colonial – Things already going swell for BB&T. [Bloomberg]

GC Weekend: Fill Has Broken the Mold

Round 3 has come and gone for the Radio Station billboard and it’s nothing but more disappointment.
After two straight rounds of +2, Fill is in the clubhouse at +6, after shooting +4 today. Obviously, he has not bounced back as many Klynveldians had hoped he would.
With this latest performance, we’re thinking that Fill has all but solidified his slot in the upcoming current RIF. This simply means that he’ll have to continue to slum it for the likes of Barclays, ExxonMobil, and Rolex.
This latest poor performance forced us to get a little creative with the rating system.
Check out our latest 9 box, after the jump


Phil_9 box_sat.jpg
As you can see, we decided that it was appropriate to modify the traditional 9 box for this special occasion. It’s no longer at NI9 for Fill, he has his own special box: the Fill NI9. This rating will now represent the most disappointing performances for Radio Station employees.
Check in with us tomorrow Monday to get the final round Fill coverage.

GC Weekend: Following Fill at the PGA Championship

Phil-Mickelson_Tim Flynn.jpgYesterday we had all but given up on Fill. At +4, he was in serious danger of missing the cut. Well, the golf gods obviously felt that Fill deserved to spend his weekend working (along with many of you, we’re guessing) as the cut fell right at +4 and Fill gets to keep playing.
Now some might call that luck, we’d call it…well, luck. Nevertheless, we’ll continue to follow Fill’s progress in Lake Wobegon or wherever this thing is being played.
He’s already +2 for his round today after nine holes so he better get his act together on the back nine or he’ll be doomed to the NI9 slot and he’ll most certainly be part of next week’s RIF (which we heard started yesterday in NYC and Dallas).
So keep up with us as we track Fill this weekend, we’ll have his latest 9 box update later today after he finishes up.

Review Comments | 08.14.09

kelly_wallpaper8.jpg• Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and join our group on Facebook!
• It’s Official…Accountants are Normal – This woman is looking for an accountant. This could be you. Okay, probably not. [Accounting Nation]
• Postal Clerk Admits $600,000 Stamp Theft – Beats the hell out of using an AK on the co-workers isn’t it? [WP]
• Madoff Feeder Will Auction Assets “Tremont Group Holdings Inc., which lost more than $3 billion in client assets through investments with Ponzi mastermind Bernard Madoff, has reached a deal to auction off the bulk of its remaining hedge-fund assets.” [WSJ]
• RIP, Colonial Bank, and good luck BB&T [JDA]
• Auditor Independence: Will “Crisis” Cause Compromise? [Re: The Auditors]

Accenture, Feeling Left Out, Gets Our Attention

Accenture_logo.pngSince Andersen went the way of the dodo almost ten years ago, Accenture has been moseying along just doing whatever it is they do. They’ve done a pretty decent job of getting people to forget that they were once part of the Big 5 4.
Since we’re pretty sure there are plenty of you out there that have friends, former colleagues, sworn enemies, and booty calls at Accenture we thought we’d pass along that they are rumored to be getting into the pay freezing spirit.
Get some details, after the jump


Apparently an email went out today stating that “Most individuals will not receive an increase in base pay.” But if you’re one of the lucky few getting a promotion you’ve got a shred of hope, “People being promoted will receive an increase in base pay only if they are below the minimum salary range for their new career level.” Awesome.
This seems very curious because at least Accenture’s super star golfer sponsoree is playing well while someone else is screwing the pooch and risking a RIF.
So if you know some Accenturites pass this along and see if they know just WTF is going on in the Haunted House of Andersen. If you ARE an Accenturite, get us the info on this whole sitch at tips@goingconcern.com. Their PR has apparently checked out for the weekend already and we’re not probably going to hear anything until Monday but we’ll update accordingly.

Fill to be Part of a RIF at the PGA?

Continuing our coverage of Fill’s quest to not finish second in the PGA Championship, our hero has finished up his second round and he shot another round of +2. That puts him at +4 for the tournament and in serious danger of missing the cut and possibly being included in the rumored upcoming reduction in force.
Check out the latest 9 box, after the jump


Phil_9 box_round 2.jpg
Fill, this is going to be a difficult conversation. Obviously this isn’t where we’d like to see you. We had high expectations for you. Maybe too high. We have to make a lot of hard choices when there are so many talented people out there. Fill, we don’t want you to wear the Radio Station hat any more.
While there are several hackers out there the projected cut is currently at +2, so we don’t like the chances of seeing the Radio Station hat on the weekend. Got anything you want to say Fill? Tell us in the comments.

Hammer Wants Everyone to Know That the IRS Can’t Touch This

mc-hammer.jpgWhy on Earth would someone like MC Hammer have to go and make reassuring claims about his financial situation? The fact that the IRS is hassling him with an illegit, illegit to quit, tax lien has us completely nonplussed (is that the right word?). The man is the poster child for rag to riches to completely over-leveraged riches to bankruptcy to mediocre comeback celebrity.
More on HammerTime’s trubs, after the jump


Hammer is all bent out of shape over a lien that the IRS slapped on him last month for $625k that is related to some damn thing 15 years ago. Right about the time when he was working really hard at going bankrupt.
HammerTime would also like everyone to know that along with a hit TV show, he is a very successful Twitterer with over 1 million followers, so obviously this whole tax lien is a huge misunderstanding because everyone knows that 1 follower on Twitter = $1 in the bank. So if the IRS could just drop it, that’d be great. Thanks.
MC Hammer Raps IRS over Tax Debts [Web CPA]

It’s Hard Convincing People to Use Lame Internal Social Networking Sites

facebook at work.jpgWe’ve covered the whole social networking thing on a couple of different occasions, including the new kid on the block, HubStreet, which will allow you to keep yourselves isolated from the bottom feeders in your professional social scene (at least virtually).
A reader who was a former Green-dotter informed us about that firm’s attempt to develop an internal social network known as Dstreet. This was clearly a priority within the Firm, according to our source:
More, after the jump

When I was wrapping up my sentence there, they were trying to get everyone to join up to their internal social networking site – Dstreet. As if that is what we wanted to do after working there 12 hours. After I got my third email asking me to update my profile for my promotion to manager (I hadn’t even set up a page yet and already I have to update it!), I set up a joke profile complete with picture of myself with huge 80s hair…I told people about it at my going away party and no one had seen it (it had been posted for 2 months)…complete waste of time!!

Apparently the Big 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse are hell bent on trying to re-invent the Facebook-wheel because to our knowledge, all the firms have some form of an internal social networking site it sounds like they all suck.
At the very least, we would suggest that status updates be allowed so that all your connections can get real time updates on how close you are to quitting for the umpteenth time.
If your firm is failing miserably at developing an internal social network or has developed anything else that seems to be of little use, let us know in the comments.