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December 6, 2022

Americans for Tax Reform Suggests You Get Fat Because Obamacare

Listen, Grover Norquist, just because you don't take your own health seriously doesn't mean the rest of us should boycott the gym:

Like many people you’ve probably noticed your wallet feeling a little lighter than usual lately. Sorry, but it’s not because you work your biceps every day at the gym. It’s because while you’ve been shedding weight on the treadmill and lifting in order to getting your body to look like you stepped out of an episode of Bay Watch, good old Uncle Sam has been robbing you blind with taxes.

Why are people getting a new tax? Obamacare is striking once again, looking for a new way to burn a whole in your pocket. One of the 20 new or higher taxes implemented under Obamacare includes a sin tax on tanning beds. The new 10% tax on tanning beds (used by 10 percent of the population) is coming as an unexpected and an unnecessary tax for members of gyms like Planet Fitness.

Planet Fitness is a nationwide chain of workout facilities that offers multiple membership types. One of Planet Fitness’ popular membership types is the “Black Card Membership,” because it allows members to use any Planet Fitness gym, instead of the one they signed up at. Who wouldn’t want that? Being able to go to any gym you want allows members to get healthy no matter where they are in the country therefore potentially lowering healthcare costs down the road.

However, because this membership allows you to use an in-house tanning bed (though there is no implication that you will), Uncle Sam is looking to punish you. That’s right; while you are busting your rear end trying to get healthy, the government is taxing you as a part of its train wreck of a healthcare plan.

Easy fix for avoiding this tax would be to find a gym that doesn't offer a tanning bed. BAM.

Better yet, cower in your home shoveling spare Armageddon rations in your mouth, fully immobile on the couch to protect yourself from the treacherous overreach of Obama and his evil taxes. Oh and make sure you have your gun in your lap in case the IRS SWAT team Obama personally hired to enforce Obamacare comes banging down your door to violate your right to be a fat, lazy slob. That'll show 'em! AMERICA!

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