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AICPA Knows They’ve Spent Truckloads Promoting CGMA, Hopes You’ll Make Some CGMA Friends

Since most of you have no appreciation WHATSOEVER for aggregation, you may have missed the AICPA's latest round of CGMA trolling in yesterday afternoon's linksSpeaking of appreciation, you know what CPAs across this great land have no appreciation for? The gobs of money the AICPA and CIMA have spent trying to crush the IMA into dust: 
AICPA and CIMA have spent quite a bit of resources on marketing the CGMA, but unless you personally know someone who has it, you may be on the fence. 
What's with you people? The AICPA and CIMA have been trying for MONTHS to hand you a management accounting designation that you can slap proudly on your business cards and LinkedIn profiles but it's all gone in one ear and out the other. And since you haven't bothered to get a CGMA and no one you know has bothered to get a CGMA then how could you possibly know what you're missing?
You wouldn't, that's their point. What you need is a testimonial. To wit:
Shannon Stith, CPA, CGMA, RP, is a senior planning associate in Boise, Idaho, with Boise Inc., a packaging and paper products company with plants across the United States, Canada, Mexico, France, Spain, and the Netherlands. An AICPA Leadership Academy graduate who serves as chair of the Champions Task Force for the 2013 Women’s Initiative Executive Committee, Shannon says her reasons for obtaining the CGMA were based on personal and professional goals.
“I am a continuous learner influenced by my grandmother and uncle, both former teachers, who cultivated my drive for self-improvement and love of learning from a very young age,” she says. “The CGMA allowed me the chance to gain additional information through available resources to help my personal quest for knowledge to use in improving my professional and volunteer organizations.”

“Many companies either have operations across multiple countries or interact with companies outside of their home country,” says Shannon. “Given this interaction, it’s very important to have consistency and standards to compare professionals to best contribute to the success of the business. The CGMA ensures that there is a standard of excellence and quality in what we do, no matter the type of business or the country in which we are working.”

BARF. If you can comprehend that last paragraph then, by all means, translate this buzzgarble for us in the comments.
Maybe what you really need is to find some living, breathing CGMAs to mix it up with so you can educate yourselves on its value because it appears no one knows what the hell it's for, not even AICPA Leadership Academy grads: 
That’s the case [i.e. undecided] with Heather Zundel, CPA, director of Internal Audit for Presbyterian Healthcare Services (PHS) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. […] “I am unclear on exactly how this designation will help in my role at PHS, but I think that it may be a lack of education on my part,” she says. 
I have news for you Heather in Albuquerque, your lack of education is not hurting you at all. You will be no more clear on how the CGMA will help your role at PHS after reading every last press release put out by the AICPA spin machine on the subject.  
Then there's this:
“I know that I tested some very appealing tools that the AICPA was considering adding as an incentive to the CMGA, so I admit that I need to learn more.”
Greg warned us about the possibility of the turd going cold exactly one year ago today. So maybe this "open an account with us, get a free toaster" is a sign the CGMA is frozen solid.