Life in Public Accounting: Expectations vs. Reality

Posted on by Adrienne Gonzalez

You are here reading this very website because at some point, it dawned on you that this whole thing is kinda bullshit. So, in that spirit, let's take a look at the soul-crushing reality that is made only more depressing due to your unrealistic, pre-public expectations.

Work life balance

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Reality:

Salary

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Interning

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Reality:

Travel

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Reality:

Busy Season

Expectation:

Reality:

Diversity

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Reality:

CPA Exam

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Accounting websites

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We Have Just the Thing to Cheer You Up

A few of you have poopy diapers out there (you’re not alone). Maybe you got let go yesterday. Maybe your blood sugar is low. Maybe you’ve haven’t gotten laid in long time. Whatever the case may be, we feel for you. The best thing that we can recommend is for you is to participate in something that falls into the category of stupid fun.
So we’re kindly reminding everyone out there to participate in our naming of the new-not-really-mega firm that will exist post the speculated merger we mentioned on Monday.
This is your chance to focus all your energy on coming up with a sexually suggestive name for this new firm. You can either participate or continue to wallow in your own excrement. Your choice.

Codification Will Affect You Whether You Like It or Not

Thumbnail image for 128 The Agony - Gethsemane.jpgIn case you’ve forgotten, the new FASB Accounting Standards Codification is all up in your shit since it is effective for all financial statements dated after 9/15/09. One source is already less than enthused about the whole thing:

[From] what I can see it requires you to go through your financials and any place you referenced something like FAS 142 you have to change it to reference one of the like 5,000 topics, subtopics, sections, paragraphs, and subparagraphs within the standard. I think Operating Leases (Lessee) will now be labeled as follows (I am serious): “840-20-a”

After we got the vomit out of our mouths, we realized that this new reference has an uncanny resemblance to IRC referencing but maybe that’s just us. This is especially disheartening for those partners who spent their entire careers committing SFASs, EITFs, and APBs to memory so that they could be the go-to technical accounting wonk. So if that’s you, consider your life’s work completely ruined.
And the PCAOB has kindly reminded you that you get NO SAY in this matter, so just accept it. On the bright side, new associates will be starting or have already so replacing all those references on workpapers should keep them busy chargeable in between making copies and calling/emailing India to check on the cash reconciliations.
This will probably give more than a few of you heartburn this season but some of you may remain clueless about it until the eleventh hour which will make for some excitement. Discuss your excitement/melancholy in the comments.
UPDATE: We had short chat with one Big 4 auditor who summed it up this way, “its fuckin retarded espcially if convergence is happening soon.” Very poignant. Convergence and soon are obviously subjective but the point is duly noted since any sort of global standards would no doubt torch the FASB’s codification.

Eating Hours: Are You in Denial?

Do we need to say anything else? Ok, we’ll say a little.

Now that there’s less of you doing the same amount of work, it’s entirely possible this could be a hell of a problem, especially come winter.

So who’s doing this? You getting word directly? In writing? If so, for God’s sake, send us the email. If you’re getting less obvious pressure we want to hear about that too.

If you’re doing it, get some stones and quit doing it. Get yourself a support group if ness.
Don’t even try telling us it’s not going on, we heard about it in the Twitterverse. Gospel.