[Jay] Rasulo was asked if he’d rather have five minutes with Federal Reserve Board chairman Janet Yellen or a five-year-old kid who’d just gone to a Disney park for the first time. “That’s an easy one — way too easy,” he said. “I’ve had a million of those conversations with kids and they’re all great. And they’re always honest, which is the best thing.” [CFO]
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An IRS agent walks into a CFO’s office…
- Adrienne Gonzalez
- February 19, 2011
This was sent to me by my 69-year-old landlord who is spending his winter in Florida and we humbly present it to you now for your reading pleasure during this lovely busy season.
At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”
“Good question,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”
“Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster.”
“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?”
“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.”
USANA Health Sciences Hits the Superfecta as President, CFO, COO and EVP of Sales All Bolt
- Caleb Newquist
- May 10, 2011
Nothing like this to get your investors a little worked up:
USANA Health Sciences, Inc. […] today announced that Fred W. Cooper, President and Chief Operating Officer; Jeffrey A. Yates, Chief Financial Officer; and Mark H. Wilson, Executive Vice President of Sales have each stepped down from their respective offices to pursue other business endeavors. […] Continuing on the realignment of the executive team, [CEO Dave] Wentz said “I also want to offer Fred, Jeff, and Mark our sincerest appreciation for their years of service to USANA. We wish them well in their future endeavors.”
Of course it could be that these guys had a foursome at Pebble Beach they weren’t about to reschedule OR they knew there was going to be openings at Novartis. Other theories are welcome. PwC’s Salt Lake City office serves as USANA’s auditor so if you’ve got the scoop or heard something interesting, email us.
Starwood Hotels CFO Not in Denial About This Egypt Situation
- Caleb Newquist
- February 4, 2011
Frankly, it’s bad for business:
“The political turmoil in North Africa, especially Egypt, is of course hurting our business,” said Vasant Prabhu, vice chairman and chief financial officer of the hotelier during a post-earnings conference call Thursday. He noted Starwood has 16 hotels across North Africa that generated between $10 million to $12 million in fees last year.
“We expect that our fees will be hit in North Africa,” he added. “It is too early to tell how we will be impacted, but this is clearly a risk that needs to be closely monitored.”