Ed. note: Due to this thing called a holiday, we’re on an even lighter than usual posting schedule. Barring any breaking news, expect shitposts for the remainder of the week. Love, AG
It used to be tradition around these parts for Colin and I to gather round the virtual fireplace come the end of the year and look back on our favorite posts. Really, the tradition started out of sheer laziness, in that our ownership expected us to create content through the holidays, and he and I wanted something easy to write that wouldn’t require making unreturned phone calls to various Big 4 offices.
I’m not even sure if the tradition continued after I left a few years ago, and frankly I don’t really care. Add to that, we don’t technically even have an editor, at least in name, so really this is more like “Shit We Wrote This Year I Think Is Decent.” We good on that? Cool, let’s proceed.
Any opportunity for me to discuss buttplugs on a professional website is a good time as far as I’m concerned. The AICPA stating that CPA exam questions are intentionally “vanilla” was just such an opportunity. Oh, and maybe there was a little insight into how exam questions are born squeezed in there too just under the reference to being hogtied with a fox tail up your butt. Quality.
#9: Why You Can Kinda Blame President Trump and His Tax Cuts for Your Favorite NFL Team Sucking
Look, I hate Trump news as much as if not more than anyone. It’s old, it’s tired, and frankly it’s too easy to make fun of. But Bramwell’s post in October really scored a touchdown (see what I did there) with all the things that make this website great-ish: sports, conjecture, and tangentially-related accounting items. Score.
#8: Let’s Cool It With All the ‘CPAs Should Run for Office Because Taxes’ Talk
This one lands on the list not necessarily for the post itself, which was fine, but for the comments (back before comments were closed forever and then opened again) suggesting that Caleb is just a money-happy liberal douchebag who is jealous because he’ll never run for office. Oh, and the guy who said he really just wants his job at KPMG back. Y’all are too much.
#7: EY Thinks It Will Hire Enough People in 2019 to Fill a Small College Football Stadium
Now, I’m no mathlete so sometimes concrete examples help when when I’m trying to think in numerical terms. Normally I rely on my fingers for this, but in this particular case Bramwell went all the way and did the math in a way we all can understand. It really helped imagine just how lofty EY’s goals are to picture a stadium full of bright-eyed accounting grads covered in black and yellow body paint. Even if that was an uncomfortable image.
#6: Rest Assured, Seekers of Illicit Love, Ernst & Young Has Your Back
We’re continually amazed by the expanded suite of services offered by Big 4 firms in the name of making money client service, but this one was a shocker even to our jaded selves. While you first years are in Nebraska next week counting widgets in cold warehouses, try not to get jealous that someone at EY was tasked with counting adulterers on Ashley Madison.
#5: An Open Letter to Anyone Thinking of Asking the Accountant in Their Life for Help on a Tax Return
Y’all can do my taxes, right?
#4: Butthurt Dudes Say They’re Reporting Sexy Snapchats to the IRS
Speaking of taxes, one of my favorite stories of the year happened just recently, when a group of patriots took on e-thots to make sure they’re doing their American duty to the Internal Revenue Service.
#3: Deloitte CEO Cathy Engelbert Is Still Talking About Her Teenage Son’s Fear of Robots
OK this robot shit is out of hand, but it’s even worse when a Big 4 CEO humiliates her teenage kid by telling the world that he’s afraid he’ll end up a greasy, unemployed neckbeard living in her basement because robots will take the job he doesn’t even have yet. Settle down, dude, it’ll be OK. And please, Cathy, enough with the oversharing.
#2: We Need to Talk About This Fleece Vest Situation, You Guys
It’s funny because I haven’t knowingly been in the same room as a CPA for a few years at least. Back in the day, I could often be found roaming Washington conference rooms nametag and all, but obviously I haven’t been to an accounting conference since this piece of crap website fired me. Anyway, somehow I knew the fleece vest situation was a problem, and I was right. It’s cool, it’s a good look.
Caleb’s final post as a Going Concern regular is on this list because let’s be real, it was time for the guy to move on. Nine years is a LONG time and take it from me, this shit can wear on you. I thought he did a good job saying goodbye, although I was surprised he managed to need so many words to do it. It earns the No. 1 spot because it was the most overdue post of the year. Where is he anyway? I thought he promised he’d stick around as Editor-at-Large. That lying bastard.
And that’s it. It has been a great year, at least for the five or so months since I’ve been back. We were able to convince TPTB to bring back comments, no one had to get banned for throwing around racial slurs, and we had plenty to talk about. If you think my list is bullshit, please feel free to say but be nice, it’s Christmas and all.