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This Is Why the World Needs Fewer Buzzwords

Posted on by Adrienne Gonzalez
a hand writing "no" on a chalkboard

Presumably, there are plenty of mediocre CPA exam candidates who can relate to this one from @lifeatdeloitte:

NO. Just no.

Also outlawed:

burnovation when you’re so burned out on “innovating,” you start coming up with stupid words

dynamattack when you are so overcome by your dynamic brilliance, you start spewing forth projectile vomit of language

bleverage making the most of happy hour

If any of this is confusing, feel free to circle back to our previous discussion on useless jargon and why we hate it.

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Technological Advances Inside Deloitte Have Some People All Excited

We here at GC received the following email in our inboxes this Moanday morning:

Finally!!! See below 🙂

Direct Pay makes managing your expenses easier
Published: 05-Dec-11

With the implementation of Direct Pay, managing your business expenses just got simpler. Direct Pay is the process where Deloitte pays American Express directly, on your behalf, for your business expenses that have been imported into DTE.

There is no change to billing dates, the point rewards program, or the way you enter your expenses.

Direct Pay will begin for U.S. professionals with expense reports dated December 17 (U.S. India professionals are not part of Direct Pay at this time.)

The process is simple:

• Use your American Express corporate card for business expenses
• Import your expenses into DTE
• Deloitte pays American Express for the imported expenses

Professionals will still be responsible for paying American Express directly for any minor non-business corporate card charges, or any American Express business charges that are manually entered into DTE. To help you with this process, there is a new tool in DTE that reconciles your monthly American Express charges to what you have imported.

Sweet Baby Jesus, it doesn’t take much to excite the Green Dots these days, does it? It’s impossible for us to tell whether or not our contributor is a traveling worker bee or the executive assistant of some traveling Big Wig (Joey E!), but it doesn’t really matter because they are SUPER PSYCHED. Is this what it’s come to for us? Forget about holiday bonuses or even some free schwag; filing expense reports just got only slightly marginally sorta kinda maybe better. No word yet on a charge code for the strip joint, errrr “Big Ben’s Steakhouse.” Continue to pay those charges with your excess per diem.

So this got us thinking. What other kinds of techy improvements would improve your lives at work? Some off-the-cuffers:

1. Partner calls sent straight to voicemail.
2. Starbucks, delivered.*
3. The ability to work from home and have a work/life bal…oh wait. Nevermind.

Who is else in a dizzy tizzy about Big D’s technological advancement? Spill your joys below.

*Interns do not count.

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Compensation Watch ’10: More People at Deloitte Will Receive Raises This Year

Some straight talk from Barry Salzberg:

Barry had a [recent] session in LA at which time he said essentially the following about comp:

1. Raises and bonuses will be distributed this year
2. Raises and bonuses will be larger than last year, but are unlikely to return to “pre-recession” levels any time soon
3. More people will be receiving raises and bonuses this year


Unfortch, Deloitte doesn’t seem to be getting involved in the pissing match with E&Y and PwC by putting a number out there but “more people” and “larger” are both somewhat encouraging, no? Well, not really, according to our source:

To my knowledge, we’re not getting any more info. On the people side; the video didn’t say anything new and everybody knows that the economy’s getting better and that Deloitte’s doing better; so we all assumed it was going to be like he said. Without a number benchmark, words are pretty much useless.