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Trying to Decipher the Awkward and Scattered Sex Lives of Accountants

The blog Energized Accounting asks if accountants make better lovers. Now before you all squawking about how you’re an animal in the sack, let’s try to be realistic about this question.

First of all, this makes the assumption that accountants are getting laid in the first place. This is mostly farcical for a couple reasons: A) Lots of accountants have to choose between sleeping and eating already because of the hours they work. You throw in boot-knocking and some excel wizards are going to start starving to death; and 2) Unofficial statistics have shown that seven out ten accountants have no game. You may not know who you are but your friends do.

So based on that, 30% of you are getting some action. And since there is a rampant proclivity to date co-workers (which we will exclude for this exercise) among accountants that narrows it down to about 5% of accountants having sex with non-bean counters. As we mentioned, you’re working most of the time so where the hell is this hot sex happening? We’re thinking that national training sessions might be one spot, where you’re picking up prosties or random hot townies in whatever strange city you happen to land in? Accountants treat national training like Vegas so pretty much anything goes but what about the other 51 weeks in the year? Is that what is going on at those two hour lunches? Do some client locations have rooms set up for this like a swing-joint? Try to enlighten us without making a scene.

Huron Consulting is Clearly Not a CPA Firm

iStock_000006509640XSmall.jpgFridays are great for lots of reasons. They’re especially great for announcing bad news long after everyone has left work to get their drink on.
Huron Consulting announced late last Friday that the CEO, CFO, and Chief Accounting Officer were all quitting and that their financial results for 2006-2008 were being restated. The restatements result in total net income for that period being reduced by nearly 50% from $120 million to $63 million.
According to Reuters:

The restatements are being made because Huron’s board audit committee discovered that shareholders of four businesses that Huron acquired between 2005-2007 redistributed portions of their acquisition-related payments among themselves and to certain Huron employees.

More, after the jump


Soooo, regardless of what Huron is saying, the CEO, CFO, and CAO sounds like someone might have been taking kickbacks, which we totally understand considering the economy and whatnot.
Huron was ranked 43rd on Fortune’s list of 100 fastest growing companies just last year. They help their clients “face complex matters that demand extraordinary combinations of financial, technical, and industry expertise.” Clearly they are not using any of this expertise on their own books but whatevs, nobody’s perfect.
What’s also strange is that Huron really goes out of their way to put the universe on notice that they are not a CPA firm and do not provide attestation services.
“Huron is a management consulting firm and not a CPA firm, and does not provide attest services, audits, or other engagements in accordance with the AICPA’s Statements on Auditing Standards.” This is stamped at the bottom of virtually every page on the website because THEY WANT TO MAKE THAT CLEAR.
Btw, Huron’s auditors are PwC, who really don’t need any additional bad publicity. If any of you Chicago P. Dubs peeps got any inside info on this story, shoot it our way to tips@goingconcern.com. The stock is getting hammered today so we’ll continue to watch this to see how it plays out.
Huron CEO, CFO quit as restatements slash profits [Reuters]

Is the Era of Work/Life Balance Over?

work life.jpgDid it ever exist? We hope accounting firms have gotten their act together and don’t have to resort to more layoffs even though rumors still persist.
Whether the shooting is over or not, it’s a pretty sure bet that, at the very least, lots of you are doing the same amount of work with less people on your team. So any illusions you had about work/life balance before have progressed to full blown poppycock.
The question remains though, is your firm still pitching this as one of their “core rhetoric values” (insert respective buzzword)?
Continued, after the jump


Call us idealistic but it seems that with everything that has happened over the last 12-18 months, most firms would want to level with their employees. You know, give them the straight shit:
“Look, we’re really sorry but we’ve got to drop this whole work/life balance thing. We just can’t keep a straight face any more.”
It’s a very tricky situation that firms find themselves in since recruiting is in full swing. Painting the rosy picture for the recruits but leveling with current employees at the same time? Is this even possible?
What’s your firm’s latest message? Are they still encouraging the work/life balance or has slowly reached the “not applicable” stage? Did it ever exist for you at your firm or have you been deleting those emails since the day you walked in the door because you knew it was bupkis? Discuss in the comments.