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Retired Accountant Who Took Up Bodybuilding Initially Not Comfortable with Skimpy Outfits, Manscaping, Teasing Women in the Crowd

Retirement. Unfortunately for most of you, you’re nowhere near it. And for those of you that are thinking about it, you’ve probably discovered that your savings aren’t quite what you imagined they would be at this stage in life and you’re doomed to a few years of recommending power tools at the local Home Depot. Once you finally do get to retire, you’ll be confined to the shuffleboard court and the senior tee boxes at your local municipal golf course.

This is not the retirement of one Don Ohmes of O’Fallon, Missouri. While most of you think of traveling the world stuff your pieholes on cruise ships, Don is getting ripped. And not just for fun. For competition.

[Ohmes] decided at age 64 that he wanted to compete in body building. This summer he shared that dream with his personal trainer, mentioning his long-time admiration of Arnold Schwarzenegger. To Maida, his wife of 43 years, this was a revelation: Body building? Arnold Schwarzenegger? “Getting on a stage in front of people? This is not really who he is,” she says. “He is a modest person and shy. You have to get up on stage and have a brief on, or whatever it is.”

It’s a “posing outfit” Mrs. Ohmes. And her husband discovered some things about bodybuilding that he hadn’t previously considered. For example, your business casual outfits may fit nicely in a JCPenney shopping bag but that sort of storage isn’t necessary for outfits required by Don’s new hobby:

“It came in an envelope,” Don recalls, burying his face in his hands. “That’s all it was in. I thought, ‘Holy cow!'” Posing costumes are so itsy bitsy that competitors must shave their bodies.

Right. The manscaping. Don eventually got more at ease with the nuances of his new obsession but there was one thing he couldn’t quite get comfortable with:

Don had to pick a song for his one-minute posing routine. He chose “Hurts So Good,” by John Mellencamp. He practiced at home, with [his trainer] and at Gold’s gym. But there was one thing Don just couldn’t do for [her]. She wanted him to point at a woman in the audience — any woman — at the song lyric, “With a girl like you.”

“I can’t act like some 20-year-old kid, because I’m not,” Don says.

So, despite his washboard abs Don isn’t so comfortable enticing the ladies. But considering he finished second in 50 and over division, it probably cost him the title. Which is fine with Don because this isn’t about fun for him, he’s trying to inspire you aging cube-dwellers out there:

“I felt a deep sense of accomplishment,” he says. “And maybe people will think — ‘This guy is 64 and he can do it. So maybe I can do it, too.'”

This means you, Tim Flynn.

Retired accountant morphs into body builder at 64 [St. Louis Today]

Accounting News Roundup: The Tanning Tax Isn’t Fair; Dubai World Gets Another Life; Guy Hands Won’t Have to Go to London | 03.25.10;

Does New 10% Tanning Tax Discriminate Against Whites? [TaxProf Blog]
Are you being unfairly taxed just because you want some extra Vitamin D?!?

Dubai World, Nakheel Get $9.5 Billion Injection [WSJ]
For now at least, it appears that Aidan Burkett, Deloitte’s rock star restructuring expert has saved the day at Dubai World. DW will get $9.5 billion from the Dubai Government and plans to pay $26 billion to its creditors that include HSBC, Lloyds, Standard Chartered and RBS.

The complex deal that has taken months to draw up involves Dubai World issuing two tranches of new debt and converting $8.9 billion, or 38%, of its existing obligations into equity, the company said.

The new debt won’t be guaranteed by Dubai government, which has previously been a thorny issue between creditors and the city-state’s advisors.

Citi Loses Bid to Move EMI Trial [WSJ]
Remember Guy Hands, the founder of Terra Firma Capital, who hates taxes so much that he asks that his family come to visit him in Guernsey so that he doesn’t risk his non-resident status for England?

Well, you’ll be happy to know that Citi’s bid to get the trial moved to London was rejected by Judge Jed Rakoff so Hands won’t have to worry his pretty little head. Had the motion to move the trial been granted, Hands’ non-resident status could have been jeopardized and he may have had to pay taxes due to England. And, God forbid, do some of the traveling to see his family.