Tag: Idiots

Citizens of Ohio Town Unleash Rage on Area Hoteliers That Is Normally Reserved for H&R Block Employees

So this happened:

An Ohio hotel has been fending off angry phone calls because a broken rope on its flagpole led some to think the business was mourning the death of Osama bin Laden. The rope left the U.S. flag stuck at half-staff outside a Hampton Inn in Springfield in western Ohio two days before bin Laden was killed, its assistant general manager Connie Smith told msnbc.com. However, people started noticing the flag and assuming its position was in honor of bin Laden on Tuesday. The hotel and its company received dozens of calls from people who were either upset or angry. One threatened to run the hoteliers out of town.

Ohio hotel: Half-staff U.S. flag not mourning bin Laden [MSNBC]
Earlier: Today in Tax-Related Violence: Man Shoots at H&R Block Employee for a Mistake on His Tax Return

Accountant Demonstrates Poor Athleticism in Most Unfortunate Way Possible

Today in doing a disservice to accountants everywhere, Matthew Benjamin Mundy, a double-entry maven in Australia, was fined $500 for accidentally hitting an off-duty federal police officer with an egg.

Apparently MBM was attempting to hit his friend with the ellipsoidal embryo container, missed, and hit the officer who was sitting at a café. Accidents happen but Mundy’s employer better hope his professional misfires are far less material. [ABC]

Doing It Wrong Twitter Case Study: The Idiot Who Accidentally Talks Sh*t on His Client’s Twitter Feed and Causes 20 People to Lose Their Jobs

Important lesson for any Big 4, et al. Twitter captains out there:

A Chrysler contractor who posted an obscene tweet on the Chrysler brand’s official account says he’s sorry his four-letter flub has cost 20 people their jobs.

Scott Bartosiewicz’s Twitter posting from last week read: “I find it ironic that Detroit is known as the (hash)motorcity and yet no one here knows how to (expletive) drive.” It was meant to appear on his personal account, but Bartosiewicz mistakenly sent it to the Chrysler brand’s feed while he was stuck in traffic on Interstate 696.

The error resulted in the 28-year-old Ferndale resident’s dismissal and contributed to Chrysler’s decision not to renew its contract with Bartosiewicz’s employer, New Media Strategies, a Virginia-based marketing firm that now is putting about 20 local employees out of work.

It’ll be a miracle if this guy sees this year’s Final Four.

Man fired over obscene Chrysler tweet apologizes [AJC]

You Know It’s Officially Tax Season When Someone Threatens an IRS Office with a Bomb

Amiright? Apparently, this guy in Sarasota, Florida was just messing with everyone but, of course, that still doesn’t go over very well with the local authorities.

“About 11:45 a.m. a 59-year-old man walked into the center with a briefcase and a box,” said Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office Capt. Paul Richard. “He placed it on what’s been described to me as a counter top and told personnel there that he had a bomb,” Richard said. IRS security personnel at the office managed to subdue the man and then hand him over to deputies. The office houses 60 employees, who were evacuated during the episode. The sheriff’s office bomb squad later confirmed there was no explosive or destructive device in either the box or the briefcase.

Man threatened Sarasota IRS office with bomb [TBO]

Area Man Steals Car After Learning About His Brother’s Crappy Tax Refund

Allegedly! Knowing the city of Lincoln, Nebraska like we do, it’s entirely possible that these two bros were simply still not over the Husker football team’s dismal display in the last two games of the season and this shitty refund was simply the kernel that busted the storage bin.

Lincoln police said one man was arrested after he refused to leave H&R Block when he became upset with his tax refund. And the man’s brother is accused of stealing an employee’s vehicle, according to police.

Authorities were called when Joshua Brown, 26, refused to leave the H&R Block on O Street. They said he was upset with his refund and insisted on talking with all the tax professionals in the building. Officers said they removed him from the property and cited him for trespassing and fail to disperse.

A half-hour later, officers said they were called back to the same business regarding a stolen Ford Explorer. An employee found her car and keys missing, police said.

Officers said Brown was inside the business with his brother, 31-year-old Michael Medina. Police said they found the Ford Explorer in the parking lot across from the brothers’ apartment on 10th Street. Police said Medina was arrested on auto theft charges.

Police: Man Upset With Tax Refund, Brother Charged With Auto Theft [KETV]

Accountant Sets Bar for Idiotic Embezzlement Schemes

The snatch and grab and burn technique isn’t the most sophisticated plan we’ve read about but we are talking about a man who is an accountant first (we’re guessing a very bad one) and an extremely dimwitted criminal second:

An accountant faces seven years in jail after a court convicted him yesterday of deliberately setting fire to Dh250,000 in cash and stealing a similar amount from the taxi company where he worked.


Why this particular accountant-cum-thief decided half the money wasn’t worth his trouble is unclear but what is CRYSTAL is that setting the remainder on fire was the equivalent of writing “I’M EMBEZZLING FUNDS” with a Sharpie™ across the cash ledger.

According to the arraignment sheet, prosecutors said [the accused] deliberately set fire to the money bag which contained Dh500,000. He burned Dh250,000 and stole the rest.

He was also charged with causing intentional damage and financial loss to the company. The company’s Indian manager testified that one of the employees informed him over the phone that the accounting office was on fire.

“I rushed to the company’s premises to check what happened. We had left nearly half a million dirhams in a money bag which we kept inside a wooden cupboard. The money was our drivers’ daily revenues. I discovered that half of the money got stolen and the remaining half was burned,” the manager told prosecutors.

But to be fair to our asshat accountant du jour, “a money bag which we kept inside a wooden cupboard” isn’t the most secure internal control procedure we’ve ever heard of. Let this be a lesson.

Surprisingly, Glenn Beck Doesn’t Understand How the 1099 Requirement Works

Everyone agrees that the 1099 requirement in the healthcare overhaul sucks. It’s so unpopular that Max Baucus has taken it upon himself to ride in on the Senate chamber on a horse clad in shining armor with an amendment that will repeal the requirement pronto and single-handedly save small businesses everywhere.

But in the meantime, area man-cum-national fruitcake Glenn Beck thought he needed to warn all the eBay junkies out there that if don’t hock their stuff this year, they’ll be subject to the requirement next year:


Of course this is bullshit. Despite what GB might think about the national media, if this were in fact true, every outlet on the planet would have reported it already. The headlines would have screamed “WAR ON EBAY” and Meg Whitman could have campaigned on that (but probably still would’ve lost).

Anyhooo, just for good measure, The Hill’s Healthwatch also points out that Beck’s “exemption” claim is also false:

Beck also told his viewers on Tuesday’s show that “at least 111 companies have been declared exempt from having to use Obamacare.” In fact, the firms he refers to have been granted a one-year waiver from the requirement that their annual limit on coverage be at least $750,000.

“Exempt” versus “a one-year waiver.” Yeah, that’s almost the same thing.

Accountant Successfully Uses “I’ll have to answer to the wife” Defense to Avoid Driving Ban

In the Old Empire, if you’re busted driving over 100 mph, you’re supposed to lose your license. Apparently there is an unwritten exception to this rule that says if you’re soon-to-be married and the bride WILL NOT STAND FOR IT, you get a pass.

Exhibit A: Christopher Bidgood, 32 an accountant from “Martham near Great Yarmouth” was stopped after going 110 and “weaving in and out of traffic.” Not the first time he had a run-in over his lead foot:

Bidgood of Martham near Great Yarmouth had faced a driving ban of up to 56 days after he admitted breaking the 70mph limit at 7.47pm on September 3.

Right, then. Bidgood’s attorney, knowing full well that his client is dumber than a sack of hammers, pulled the only card he thought he could play:

Tim Carey, defending, said Bidgood, had already faced the “displeasure” of his bride Amanda due to the risk of a ban ruining their honeymoon.

Describing his client’s behaviour behind the wheel, Mr Carey told the bench: “Sir, he has been a complete idiot – an idiot of the first order.”

But a “hardworking and honest” idiot, according to his co-workers, which may have helped his case as well.

BREAKING: Democrats Suck at Accusing Republicans of Trying to Raise Taxes

So some Democrats thought it would be a cute to try and turn the tables on their Republican opponents by insinuating that by supporting the Fair Tax, the GOP was raising taxes on middle class Americans.

Love or hate the Fair Tax, anyone that takes more than 30 seconds to research the idea knows that if implemented, the Fair Tax would abolish the income tax.

In some recent ads, a few Democratic nominees left that part out entirely:

Research supplied by FairTax.org shows that Democrats in 16 districts have run at least 31 ads blasting Republicans for supporting the tax. But many of these ads neglect to mention the levy is essentially a national sales tax that would replace the current federal tax system.

FactCheck.org recently slammed the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) for running ads that omitted this fact.

“Democrats are accusing Republicans of supporting a 23 percent sales tax on everything, which would be on top of all existing taxes… it’s misrepresenting by omission of the FairTax idea,” FactCheck.org director Brooks Jackson told The Hill.

The motivation behind this strategy could be due to a number of factors:

1) The Democrats who ran the ads feel that most Americans are gullible enough to believe anything they see on TV.

2) The Democrats who ran the ads don’t understand how the Fair Tax policy would work on its most basic level, thus meeting the intelligence level to serve in Congress.

3) Democrats simply suck at accusing Republicans for trying to raise taxes.

It wouldn’t be a surprise if the first two played a part but come on. Leave the “he/she wants to raise your taxes” to the experts you fools and stick with the lowbrow stuff.

Dem ads against GOP not accurate on crux of FairTax proposal [On The Money]

Breaking: Requesting Huge Tax Refunds Based on Crackpot Theories Still Being Attempted

Presumably, because the IRS wouldn’t possibly think to question liens taken out against government employees:

Thanh Viet Jeremy Cao, 28, of Rancho Santa Margarita and Las Vegas, is accused of taking out 22 false liens ranging from $25 million to $300 million against employees of the Securities and Exchange Commission, the U.S. Attorney’s Office, the Secret Service and the Internal Revenue Service, as well as false liens against four federal judges, the Department of Justice announced Wednesday.


Young Mr Cao wasn’t just doing this out of spite. Oh my lord, no. He had a theory behind his request for $20 billion in refunds:

Cao, whose business was Phoenix Financial Management Group in Lake Forest, filed fraudulent forms with the IRS on behalf of six clients “that grossly overstate his customers income and withholding to get grossly inflated tax refund checks,” according to a complaint filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles.

Cao used a theory called “redemption” or “commercial redemption” – which prosecutors called a “rejected tax defier theory.” This theory claims that the U.S. Treasury keeps millions in a secret treasury account for each taxpayer. The secret account can be used to pay a taxpayer’s debts and tax liabilities if a taxpayer sends the IRS and banks certain documents, the theory goes.

“Cao’s theory is complete fiction,” the complaint reads.

Jesus, man. Not even an original crackpot theory. Spend some of those 223 possible years working on developing something new.

Man accused of $20 billion tax fraud [OC Register]
California Man Indicted in Las Vegas for Filing False Liens Against Federal Employees & Filing False Tax Forms [DOJ]
Earlier:
Give It Up Tax Protesters, You’re Just Screwing Yourselves

One Possible Sign that the Modeling Career Isn’t Working: You’re Claiming Bogus Tax Refunds

We don’t mean to crush anyone’s dreams of walk-offs or eating disorders but sometimes when you’re not sure if things are working out in your modeling career, you have to be able to recognize the signs when they appear.


One sure sign that you won’t be America’s Next Top Model (or the person fetching ANTM’s rice crackers) is that you find yourself claiming to have earned $550,000 working for an “environmental group” and then requesting a $200,000 refund for that “work”:

Nyemah Johnson, who models under the name Nyemah Marxx, falsely claimed he made $550,000 working for an environmental group and was entitled to the six-figure refund, prosecutors said.

He was one of five people arrested last week in a $1.1 million tax scheme that prosecutors said was led by Queens accountant Diana Rabin.

The bright side, of course, is that there is no such thing as bad publicity and assuming Mr Marxx has access to something a step above a public defender, he’ll manage to stay out of jail for too long and maybe then he’ll be able to land the “shirtless bro” gig outside the A&F.

Manhattan model, Nyemah Marxx, is caught in $200,000 tax scam [NYDN]