cue Tim Geithner jokes

Apparently This Is the IRS Being Funny About Taxes

We can’t come up with a better explanation for their Tax Quotes page. Treasury regulations forbid the IRS from implying that inclusion of a quote here means they are at all endorsing tax revolt and/or humor in any form.

“Taxes are what we pay for civilized society.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., U.S. Supreme Court Justice

“I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.” — Arthur Godfrey, entertainer

“People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.” — Unknown

“No government can exist without taxation. This money must necessarily be levied on the people; and the grand art consists of levying so as not to oppress.” — Frederick the Great, 18th Century Prussian king

“Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.” — Lord Bramwell, 19th Century English jurist

“The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” — Arthur C. Clarke, author

“Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.” — F. J. Raymond, humorist

A tax loophole is “something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is tax reform.” — Russell B. Long, U.S. Senator

“The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.” — Albert Einstein, physicist

“Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.” — Gerald Barzan, humorist

“Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.” — Will Rogers, humorist

Tax Cheater Profile: That Young Single Guy Who Lies About the Fly in His Soup

Sound like anyone you know?

While only 15% of Americans surveyed fessed up to fudging their tax returns, 64% of those people were men, according to the survey of consumer attitudes and behavior. Thirty-five percent were single (47% when including people who have been divorced or widowed), and 55% were under the age of 45.

As if cheating on your taxes wasn’t deplorable enough, this person will most likely to pocket money that isn’t theirs, gets a friend to pose as a former boss and would cook up a finger-in-the-chili story:

While 73% of cheaters admitted to working a job under the table, only 20% of non-cheaters did. Self-proclaimed cheaters are also much more likely to keep the wrong change given to them by a cashier, to ask a friend to pretend to be a former boss for a reference check and to lie about their income to qualify for government aid.

Many of them also said they would wear an outfit once and return it, file false insurance claims, keep money they see someone drop on the floor, or lie about finding something inappropriate in their food just to get a free meal.

If you know a scumbag like this, at least you can report your suspicions safely now.

Tax cheats: Single, young and male [CNN via DB]