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May 27, 2023

When accounting goes unaccounted for

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Christine O’Donnell

News

The Guy Responsible for Informing Us About Christine O’Donnell’s Pubic Hair Was an Auditor at the Federal Reserve

by Caleb Newquist

We’re just catching up to this little twist in the story so keep your pieholes shut. Plus, it’s election day, making it completely appropriate.

Hard to believe that it was just last Thursday when the anonymous first-hand account of a sexless one-night stand with Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell was published over Gawker, grooming details included.

Aside from Christine O’Donnell’s stance on masturbation, witchcraft and her inability to assign anyone to fill out a postcard for her nonprofit organization, we could have done without this particular exposé. An anonymous douche probably thought he would make off with Gawker’s ‘low four figure’ sum and he would be an anonymous anti-tea party hero.


The Smoking Gun immediately was on the case to identify the pube peeker in question and it really didn’t take much effort on their part, as they came to a pretty solid conclusion late on Thursday after speaking with the author’s former roommate, Brad Kursiko:

While Kurisko refused to out “Anonymous,” some online activity this evening may point to the author’s identity. Shortly after his last phone conversation with a TSG reporter, a single name disappeared from Kurisko’s list of Facebook friends.

The man with whom electronic ties were abruptly cut is Dustin Dominiak, a 28-year-old buddy who attended Albion College with Kurisko. Records show that Dominiak has previously shared a Philadelphia address with Kurisko. One online posting reports that Dominiak, a Michigan native, has worked as an auditor at the Federal Reserve in Philadelphia.

TSG finally got Kurisko to confirm Dominiak as the blathering broheim, thus providing him with the unenviable distinction of being “that guy who wrote about Christine O’Donnell’s pubes.” Especially if she manages to pull off the huge upset today.

But more interestingly this whole story has only reiterated our contention that the sex lives of accountants (and by extension, auditors) is completely random and scattered. This particular encounter – Senate candidates and their grooming habits; Philly Fed auditors that will do anything for a buck – might be the apex of the theory.

On The Trail Of “Anonymous,” Christine O’Donnell’s Sex-Free Pal [TSG via DI]

Tax

Christine O’Donnell Attack Ad on “Taxman” Chris Coons Uses Witchy-Sounding Music

by Caleb Newquist

We defy you to find more appropriate background music for a scene with three spell-casting broads cackling around a cauldron.


But what about that sinister rhetoric? Jim Newell over at Gawker suggests that the ad channels a viral ‘Bed Intruder Song’. Reasoning that the lyrics “Hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cause they rapin’ everybody up in here” translated into the “Hide your will, hide your lights, ’cause he’s taxing everything out here.”

Maybe Newell is onto something. If you just imagine boxy eyeglasses and a Members Only jacket combined with Coons’s textbook horseshoe balding pattern, he would have a über-creepy vibe going on. Plus he loves taxes! Yep, this ad is a winner.

[via TaxProf]

Industry

Is Anyone Surprised That Christine O’Donnell’s Nonprofit Failed to File Their Tax Returns?

by Caleb Newquist

We were really hoping to avoid the whole Christine O’Donnell anti-masturbating/witchcraft/evolution-is-a-myth dealio but we can’t, in good conscience, ignore the fact that the nonprofit group founded by a candidate for the U.S. Senate hasn’t bothered to file tax returns in three years.

The AP got their hands on IRS documents that show O’Donnell’s “pro-abstinence outreach organization” failing to file their 990 for the past three years. This, as you may know, means that the anti-pre-marital bumping uglies organization could lose its tax-exempt status.


O’Donnell’s camp is blowing this off (seems to be standard operating procedure), “It’s not any big deal. I’m dealing with this for all kinds of clients right now,” the AP quotes the campaign’s lawyer, “There are thousands of nonprofits doing this. Everyone is scurrying around.”

According to the AP, the most recent return filed by Savior’s Alliance for Lifting the Truth (SALT) shows $2k in contributions and $1,973 in expenses.

Since this attorney seems to be on top of the situation, we probably don’t have to tell her that the nonprofit can likely file a 990-N in less time than it would take for a young Salty to engage in a manual override. Or cast a spell on the IRS. Whichever.

O’Donnell nonprofit failed to file [AP]