Of Course an Accountant Is the World’s Top Fantasy Football Player
As you’re no doubt aware, this past Saturday the college football season began and on Sunday the NFL kicks off their season. For many of you with a pigskin-crazed significant other, this means that you won’t be seeing much of him or her on the weekends for the rest of the year.
This also means that thousands of hours will be wasted by (primarily) men at work and in their free time, antagonizing over the players on their rosters* and coming up with lame trash talk for their upcoming opponents. For the most part, the gajillion of dollars lost in productivity and the strain put on relationships is accepted by society (there are exceptions).
Football is more of a religion than any of the faiths these days anyway. Plus, we’re fairly certain that men sitting on their asses while ingesting meat and watching freakishly obsese men (and a few athletes) sacrifice life and limb is all but guaranteed by The Constitution. Fantasy football is a mere extension of this phenomenon.
Anyway, there has to be a king of this geekfest of stats, laptops and greasy food and his name is John Rozek. And he is an accountant.
More technically, Rozek is “king of fantasy football by the World Championship of Fantasy Sports, the big dog in big-money, faux-football leagues.” The World Championship of Fantasy Sports (“WCOFS”) will be awarding $2 million in prize money this year which should allow some of the big winners to actually get laid.
Rozek (who won $25k last year in various leagues) doesn’t claim to be a guru, just smarter than the born losers he plays against, “You have to take advantage of people not making the best picks,” he told the Trib. “And you can’t fall in love with players.”
This really shouldn’t surprise you one iota. Looking over a mess of seemingly meaningless numbers, maintaining objectivity, impervious to distractions like spouse, kids, etc. when its busy and/or football season is what accountants so good at their jobs in the first place. It’s like revealing that an accountant is the best at stamp collecting (we’re sure it’s a fine hobby) or a World of Warcraft champion. Most people’s reaction would be, “Meh. I could’ve guessed that.”
Chicago accountant is world’s top-ranked fantasy football player [CT]
*Full disclosure: I am in one league and my team will be dominating this year.
Some at Deloitte Aren’t Too Concerned About Accountant Stereotypes
Look. We’re not saying that World of Warcraft is geeky. We’re sure that it’s a very challenging game and some very talented people put it together and continue to work on it. There just seems to be a particular segment of the population that is repeatedly associated with the game. So for the purposes of this discussion, World of Warcraft qualifies as geeky.
We’re all familiar with the reputation of accountants and people that work for the Big 4, so there’s not much to discuss there.
Continued, after the jump
Considering these two factors, why in the name of everything that is good and holy would Deloitte decide to put out an in-depth analysis on “performance improvement” that incorporates said game?
For all impractical purposes, we’re going to ignore any valid conclusions that the authors came to. That’s not what this is about. This about the authors cementing the stereotype of bean counters being not just geeks, but now super-geeks.
Don’t you recognize what we’re trying to accomplish here? There is serious cause for concern. Get someone on this before we get all Glenn Beck on your ass.
The collaboration curve: Exponential performance improvement in World of Warcraft [Deloitte]
The IRS is on YouTube and iTunes But Still Needs Our Help
We’re guessing that the IRS has been struggling for years to figure out how to relate better to the general public. They finally came to the conclusion that people like videos and audio as opposed to instruction booklets that make the New York Times look like a kaleidoscope. Clearly progress has been made, however, we still foresee challenges.
The biggest problem we have is that the videos are pretty much the live-action equivalent to the instruction booklets.
More, after the jump
Sorry we had to put you through that. Now our suggestions:
• Hugh Jackman or Megan Fox-types cast in the videos.
• A little song and dance, possibly performed by NPH.
• If a song and dance isn’t feasible, inject a little comedic relief. We’re thinking strategically inserted movie clips.
• Did we mention Hugh Jackman and Megan Fox?
As with anything in our society, celebrities (especially attractive ones) make everything better. Remember the Hollywood Vote Campaign videos? This is the model we would suggest the IRS strongly consider.
We’re fairly certain that Leonardo DiCaprio explaining how to avoid tax scams using his steely gaze will have a much greater affect on taxpayers than our friend here in the yellow blazer. Just a thought. If you’ve got other suggestions for the service on how to make their videos more watchable, discuss in the comments.
IRS Spotlights Recovery Credits on YouTube and iTunes [Web CPA]
Your New Career Goal: FEI Hall of Fame
Did you ever dream of being inducted into any form of a hall of fame. Baseball? Rock ‘n Roll? Calculus? Did you think all hope was lost for this particular career goal when you decided to become a pointy-headed number cruncher?
Well, we’ve got great news for you. The Financial Executive International Hall of Fame was established four years ago (how did we miss that?) and just announced this year’s recipients. Now you too can fulfill those dreams of giving a teary-eyed speech, thanking all the little people you stepped over and around to become the finance and accounting oracle that you are.
This year’s ceremony will induct Donald Nicolaisen, former Chief Accountant at the SEC and Dennis Dammerman, former vice chairman at GE. So what if you’ve never heard of them? They’ve achieved financial professional immortality! You could be next. Oh, and Bob Pisani of CNBC is hosting. Joan Rivers won’t be far behind. Is there a reason that this ceremony isn’t being beamed into every home in America?
Nicolaisen, Dammerman Named to FEI Hall of Fame [FEI Financial Reporting Blog]
The Summer Corporate Outing: Be Bold!
Since it’s summer, it’s inevitable that many of you will receive the an invitation to a company pool party, BBQ, ball game, etc. For many accountants, fashion is an afterthought at the office. Blue shirt or white shirt today? Black trousers or khakis? Not a terribly fashion forward bunch. In fact, we might go so far to say, fashion Neanderthals.
However, when an event outside of the office occurs, the need for non-work attire arises. Some bean counters will still don trousers and button-ups because well, they’re lame. For the more free-spirited among us, this is the opportunity to cut loose.
The Journal has a stuffy piece about what’s “appropriate” at these corporate outings. We here at Going Concern want you to ignore social conventions and go with your gut when preparing for these summer corporate get-togethers.
Do you look fab in a super-tiny speedo? We say ROCK IT! Looking to wear a t-shirt from your favorite strip club? Wear it PROUD! Been waiting for the perfect opportunity to wear that new skirt that shows off those fantastic gams? We’re ALL FOR IT!
The Journal is concerned about “knowing” your co-workers too well and their inability to get that image of you in your velour tracksuit out their heads. We say, GET YOURSELF OUT THERE! Life is far too short to be held down by fashion impotent bean counters who can’t pull off tight leather shorts.
Overexposed: Surviving The Corporate Outing [WSJ]
Deloitte May Be the #1 Firm of No Fun
Regardless of who a client is or what their business is, accounting firms don’t like to lose them. Lost revenue, a little bit of a slap in the face, a promise that wasn’t delivered (which, let’s be honest, really isn’t all that rare).
For whatever reason, we find the story that Heelys, the skate shoe company, having fired Deloitte as their auditor, has to be an especially tough pill to swallow for the Big D.
Why, you may ask? How about the fact that Heelys MAKES SHOES THAT HAVE WHEELS ON THEM which might be something fun.
According to Reuters, Heelys gave Deloitte-period the heave-ho primarily because of cost considerations. That may be true but something tells us that the real reason might have been Deloitte putting the kibosh on Heelys request of the audit team to wear the skate shoes while working at the client’s HQ.
Deloitte, like all Big 4 firms, being the fun killer, likely argued that skate shoes did fall under acceptable attire in its dress code.
It was probably only a matter of time until the Heelys audit committee concluded that they had to find another audit firm with smaller sticks up their asses. Partners on the engagement are now quietly stewing with their decision that may have put their firm solidly in the #1 slot for hating all things fun.
Heelys dismisses accounting firm [Reuters]