It seems like every other day, another felon is on Reddit asking if they should disclose their criminal history to an accounting firm. We've beaten this particular horse to death so bad around these parts we should be charged with animal cruelty but we do want to help you to do the right thing (after you committed whatever crime, that is).
Therefore, here are several scenarios and our advice on whether to disclose or not. We can't help you become gainfully employed to get your probation officer off your back but we can help you know whether you should reveal your seedy past or keep your lips zipped.
Grand Theft Auto — Don't disclose
DUI — Disclose so you don't have to drink alone
2nd DUI — Don't disclose and go to a meeting
War Crimes — Disclose, your firm will make you a Principal in the Aerospace and Defense Group
Animal Cruelty — Don't disclose unless you want GC editors to hunt you down and beat you over the head with a litter of kittens
Financial Fraud — Disclose if you want to land a spot in the forensics group
Tax Fraud — Don't disclose if you're in assurance or advisory, disclose if you are in tax and want the GE account
Stalking — Disclose if you aspire to be a campus recruiter
Petty Theft — Disclose, but only to your senior while you are at an inventory count
Tearing a Tag Off a Mattress — Don't disclose, you know how petty accountants can be
