Oregon Man’s Encounter with IRS Agent Oddly Similar to the Plot of a Bad Porno Movie

Posted on by Caleb Newquist

Today in bizarre sexual encounters with government employees news, a Fall Creek, Oregon man has filed a lawsuit against an IRS agent for "coerc[ing] him into having sex with her after suggesting that the liaison could keep him out of tax trouble."

Dora Abrahamson claims to have known Vincent Burroughs when she called him to inform that he was being audited. According to the suit, Burroughs didn't remember her, but that didn't stop Abrahamson from sending him suggestive text messages, flirting with him over the phone and "at one point sent him a photo of herself in her underwear." 

And just about the time Burroughs may have thought that this situation couldn't more resemble a scene from "I'm From the Government and I'm Here to Examine Your Assets", it did!

Burroughs did not respond to Abrahamson’s initial advances, according to the lawsuit. But he gave in after a “provocatively attired” Abrahamson arrived at his home in September 2011 and propositioned him, the lawsuit states. “She told (Burroughs) that she could be a bitch, or that she could be nice,” the suit states. “She said that she could impose no penalty, or a 40 percent penalty, and that if he would give her what she wanted, she would give him what he needed.” Burroughs had sex with Abrahamson that day “as a result of (her) coercive conduct,” according to the lawsuit.
Burroughs did not initially report this "excessive intrusion on his person" because "of embarrassment and fear that she would cause substantial financial penalties to be imposed upon him.” 
 
This is ridiculous of course. The IRS would never employ audit procedures that would risk being enjoyed by the auditee. You have to figure that Burroughs just had a stroke of bad luck.
 

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gnomes.pngThe mother of all auditors, the Government Accountability Office, had heard some complaints that maybe the IRS wasn’t doing such a bang-up job on the whole Phase two.
After snooping around, the GAO issued a new report that explained that the IRS needs to work on explaining just what it is they do an why they do it.


Web CPA:

The IRS has no documented objectives for the notice phase and no performance measures to indicate how well the phase is performing in resolving debt cases or achieving other desired results…
…However, in almost all cases, for the five business rules the IRS identified as affecting the most taxpayers, the IRS did not have information on the date the rules were established, the rationale for the rule, or data supporting the rationale…
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Let’s recap:
• “…no documented objectives…”
• “…did not have information on the date the rules were established, the rationale for the rule, or data supporting the rationale…”
• “…lacked documentation describing the business rules and how they operate.”
• “…documentation for an evaluation of only one of the five business rules.”
Apparently this is one of those cases where the Service says, “Trust us, we have a plan. But don’t ask us to explain it, we wouldn’t want to bore you. Oh, and don’t ask us how well it’s working. We don’t get too hung up on statistics or success rate.”
We’re just talking about tax dollars after all.
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Apparently This Is the IRS Being Funny About Taxes

We can’t come up with a better explanation for their Tax Quotes page. Treasury regulations forbid the IRS from implying that inclusion of a quote here means they are at all endorsing tax revolt and/or humor in any form.

“Taxes are what we pay for civilized society.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., U.S. Supreme Court Justice

“I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.” — Arthur Godfrey, entertainer

“People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.” — Unknown

“No government can exist without taxation. This money must necessarily be levied on the people; and the grand art consists of levying so as not to oppress.” — Frederick the Great, 18th Century Prussian king

“Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.” — Lord Bramwell, 19th Century English jurist

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“Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.” — Will Rogers, humorist