The Millionaire Matchmaker: How Recruiting and Online Dating Are Basically the Same Thing

For somebody who’s been through the pain of a recruiting fair or the very real horror of a blind date with a man whose parents are probably first cousins, job hunting and dating can feel like one in the same. The chase. The long-term relationship. The rejection. The disenchantment. Here are a few similarities that I’ve discovered during my hunt for a job and my hunt for a date:

Leona May worked in auditing for a couple of years before making the leap to industry. She’s currently a financial analyst and CPA by day and a Going Concern contributor by night. Her hobbies include the Detroit Red Wings, tropical vacations, books on tape, and Diablo III.

For somebody who’s been through the pain of a recruiting fair or the very real horror of a blind date with a man whose parents are probably first cousins, job hunting and dating can feel like one in the same. The chase. The long-term relationship. The rejection. The disenchantment. Here are a few similarities that I’ve discovered during my hunt for a job and my hunt for a date:

Profile Pics – The online dating populous constantly presents profile pictures from ten years and twenty pounds ago. Sometimes I think an online dating profile is nothing but another recruitment flyer featuring laughing, happy-go-lucky, love-my-job-even-during-busy-season auditors. Lies. All lies. Assuming we’ve all worked through a ninety hour workweek, we all know those smiling assholes in the brochures probably quit halfway through busy season citing panic attacks and PTSD. That or they belong to HR. When I joined Match.com, I agreed to a date with an individual whose Match.com profile claimed he was 6’1”. In person, he was roughly the size of a leprechaun. Reality often doesn’t match the brochure.

The Hook — If I had a dollar for every recruiter who cold-called me regarding an “amazing one of a kind” opportunity that was actually an internal audit position assessing controls of carbonic powder plants all across northern Ohio for a pittance of a salary bump, I’d be writing this blog from the beach in Cabo enjoying my newly acquired independent wealth. (Alas, here I am in Detroit obsessing over Red Wings rumors and hating on the Lions). I’ve found online dating to be equally as disenchanting. Go ahead and tell me about your time working for the Peace Corps in West Africa. Tell me about the giant lizard you found in your hut. Tell me about how it kills chickens and has a poisonous tail. Leave out the part about how you hacked it to death with a machete and fed it to the village schoolchildren. Jobs – like potential suitors – usually sound better before you know the whole story.

Screening – Let’s face it, ladies. At some point, we’ve all wished that guy came with a “he lives in his mother’s basement” sign on his forehead. (Apologies to those CPAs trying to save $350 a month on rent in order to pay down exorbitant student loan debt and to Big4Veteran). Provided that at least a small portion of the online population was honest, I can weed out the mother’s basement dwellers, the jobless, the illiterates, the Chicago Blackhawks fans, etc. from the comfort of my lounger. Likewise, job hunting’s a hell of a lot easier now that we can narrow down things like distance from home/pay/job function, etc. Hell, you can even weed out the recruiters. Don’t like his tone? Delete. Don’t care much for Chrysler accounting positions? Send to voicemail. With such a plethora of options – plenty of dating profiles and plenty of accounting jobs, why settle?

So – recruiting and dating. One in the same. Both can make for a sometimes awkward and uncomfortable process, but both are certainly worth it in the long run. After all, a sweet job and/or an awesome life partner is definitely worth the hassle. The right job and the right guy are out there somewhere. Fellow accountants and/or women, share your awkward experiences with dating and/or recruiting in the comments.

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