Since it’s summer, it’s inevitable that many of you will receive the an invitation to a company pool party, BBQ, ball game, etc. For many accountants, fashion is an afterthought at the office. Blue shirt or white shirt today? Black trousers or khakis? Not a terribly fashion forward bunch. In fact, we might go so far to say, fashion Neanderthals.
However, when an event outside of the office occurs, the need for non-work attire arises. Some bean counters will still don trousers and button-ups because well, they’re lame. For the more free-spirited among us, this is the opportunity to cut loose.
The Journal has a stuffy piece about what’s “appropriate” at these corporate outings. We here at Going Concern want you to ignore social conventions and go with your gut when preparing for these summer corporate get-togethers.
Do you look fab in a super-tiny speedo? We say ROCK IT! Looking to wear a t-shirt from your favorite strip club? Wear it PROUD! Been waiting for the perfect opportunity to wear that new skirt that shows off those fantastic gams? We’re ALL FOR IT!
The Journal is concerned about “knowing” your co-workers too well and their inability to get that image of you in your velour tracksuit out their heads. We say, GET YOURSELF OUT THERE! Life is far too short to be held down by fashion impotent bean counters who can’t pull off tight leather shorts.
Overexposed: Surviving The Corporate Outing [WSJ]
Category: Uncategorized
Vampire Squid, Broken Down
For you viewing pleasure, FT Alphaville has provided some illustrations so that we might better conceptualize Matt Taibbi’s labeling of Goldman Sachs as “a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money”, which still makes us wince.
All we’ll say is that includes Darth Vader so that makes it worth a look.
Vampire squid, illustrated edition [FT Alphaville]
The Convergence Debate, Already Geeky, About to Get Geekier
Academics in the U.S. aren’t too psyched about the benefits of IFRS, according to Compliance Week:
The United States already meets a high level of reporting quality relative to other countries as a result of various “institutional features,” said [Peter] Wysocki [Professor at MIT]. Those include things like an active investor and analyst community, a rigorous audit process, and oversight by the Securities and Exchange Commission, among others, he said.
“It’s a little difficult to argue a move to IFRS will result in significant improvement in reporting quality,” Wysocki said. “We’re already at a high level because we already have those institutional features in place.
The debate over convergence has reached Biggie/Tupac fever and now that U.S. GAAP has got American bookworms shouting about how IFRS isn’t all that, we expect that academics on the other side of the pond will get involved and the debate will get fiercely geekier.
Academics: Move to IFRS Won’t Boost Reporting Quality [Compliance Week]
Figuring it was About Time, the SEC Closes Tyco Case
Invoking their continuing motto of “Better Late Than Never”, the SEC closed the Tyco case today as Dennis Kozlowski and Mark Swartz agreed to be banned from serving as directors or officers of a public company. The timing of this ban comes as a bit of surprise since these guys have been in jail since 2005 but we are talking about the SEC.
Since Bernie Madoff has a much longer sentence than the Tyco twins, the Commission will figure there’s no rush and he’ll retain his rights to serve as a director/officer until around 2020.
Settlement Ends S.E.C. Case Two From Tyco [DealBook/NYT]
Paulson: I Ordered the Code Red
Big day tomorrow for Hank Paulson as he finally gets to set the record straight re: Ken Lewis’s kneecaps. Our feeling is the threatening of bank CEO’s while taking a leisurely bike ride is second nature for Colonel Jessup Paulson and he probably doesn’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to. But since you clowns at Oversight and Government Reform went ahead and called the big guy to testify, he’ll humor you just this once:
Former Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson plans to tell lawmakers he acted appropriately in warning Bank of America Corp. Chief Executive Kenneth Lewis that the firm’s management could be ousted if it walked away from its deal to buy Merrill Lynch, saying such a move would have suggested a “colossal lack of judgment.”
We’re done here.
Paulson: Comments to BofA’s Lewis ‘Were Appropriate’ [WSJ]
SEC Promises to Suck Less Post-Madoff
It what amounts to a serious case of too little, too late, the SEC says that it will do more to protect investors in the wake of the Madoff scandal.
M. Schape and Co. would like you all (House Financial Services Committee) to know that they have been busy though. Working late. Working weekends. Working hard:
regulatory proposals include restricting short-selling in down markets, strengthening oversight of mutual funds, tightening scrutiny of investment advisers and making it easier for shareholders to seat directors on company boards. The S.E.C. is also working to identify emerging risks to investors, including so-called dark pools, or automated trading systems that do not publicly provide price quotes, Ms. Schapiro said.
See? Doesn’t that make you feel better? We’re the SEC, getting better at being less clueless since 2009.
S.E.C. Plans to Protect Investors More Post-Madoff [DealBook/NYT]
Look Man, Not Even Ron Paul is Buying Your Fed Conspiracy Story, So Can We Drop it?
Because we know you haven’t gotten enough of the whole Bank of America/Merrill Lynch deal-under-duress drama, we’re happy to report that Representative Darrell Issa of California (seen at left, with, we can only assume, a constituent, not a high-priced call girl or his staffer’s wife, or his Argentinean soulmate) isn’t satisfied by B-squared’s testimony and likely won’t be satisfied with Hank “Just call me Lance Armstrong” Paulson’s testimony that is scheduled for Thursday.
No, no. Issa wants more information, “[he] wrote to Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner July 2 asking for all records surrounding an October 13 meeting and decision to use government bailout funds to buy equity in financial institutions.”
You think that’s good? He’s not done:
Issa also asked the Treasury to provide records and communications, including notes and e-mails from a range of officials, relating to the Bank of America-Merrill merger from August 1 though February 1. Issa also asked New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo in a July 1 letter to provide transcripts of interviews with Paulson and any other communications with federal officials on the Bank of America-Merrill merger.
That’s right. Six months worth of emails and notes. Every single post-it that you did your best Jackie Treehorn sketch on MUST. BE. SAVED.
Issa, a believer in a Nixon-esque coverup at the behest of Bernanke, has clearly channeled his inner-Maxine Waters and will BE DAMNED if this is happening on his watch.
Lawmaker seeks more data in BofA-Merrill deal [Reuters]
Madoff’s New Digs in North Carolina?
Bernie Madoff is “in transit” to prison per a story at Bloomberg. The story’s source was a spokesman from the Federal Correctional Institute in Otisville, NY, where the Master de Ponz requested to be housed.
CNBC has reported that he will serve his sentence in Butner, NC.
Butner has two lovely medium security facilities and one posh low security facility so it’s def not FPMITA prison but it’s not the cushy dorm-style and we would speculate that inmates are only allowed to use sporks at chow time and use Lucky Strikes to buy Juicy Fruit and other luxuries.
Bernard Madoff ‘In Transit’ to Prison, Spokesman Says [Bloomberg]
Jack Welch is Not Buying the Whole Work-Life Balance Thing
Jack Welch, who is increasingly looking like Gollum these days, has been quoted saying that there is no such thing as “work-life” balance only “work-life choices”, according to a story in the Wall St. Journal.
The quotes were in context of women who choose between spending time with family and those that want to “reach the top” but you gents aren’t immune.
Accounting firms are constantly selling “work-life balance” as a priority but we’ll take Welch’s comments as gospel here since, nothing we’ve seen or heard makes us believe otherwise.
So next time you get the work-life rhetoric, you’ve got some published material for your back up your “I call bullshit” argument. You’re welcome.
Welch: ‘No Such Thing as Work-Life Balance’ [WSJ]
Michael Moore’s Next Child Movie Has a Name
The Michael Moore documentary that has been so feverishly anticipated now has a title: Capitalism: A Love Story.
For those of you not so familiar with Moore’s work, you can basically expect convenient statistics for Moore’s position and not-so-flattering footage of rich guys who might had a hand in some of the collapse. Master de Ponz, Prince Ponz, Angelo Mozilo, Joe Cassano, anyone whoever worked at a hedge fund, etc.
Michael Moore names his new economy themed film [New York Daily News]
Sweden, Probably Not Too Keen on Human Souls as Collateral, to Write Down Latvian Debt
In what could be the most sensible reaction by bankers in quite some time, Sweden is writing down debt held by individuals in Latvia.
This move by the Swedes occurs, not so surprisingly, after the revelation that Latvian bankers were acting as soul brokers.
Swedbank, which is entirely made up of tall, stunningly attractive blondes that only purchase inexpensive, self-assembled furniture, stated that approximately 10% of the loans held by Latvian individuals would be written down, leaving many Latvian souls at risk of repossession by the Princes of Darkness Latvian Bankers.
Swedish Banks Prepare Latvian Debt Write-Down [DealBook/NYT]
