Chipotle must have got word that Deloitte was handing out iPhones because the bean slingers have developed an app that will allow you to order your 1,000+ calorie lunch directly from said gadget.
It wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to wonder if the accounting firms had something to do with this. The only thing we can’t figure out is how this fits in with some firms’ newfound trend of caring about your health. Regardless, now that ordering Chipotle is totally portable, accountants won’t have an excuse to leave the office, EVER.
No more excuses about “I’m going to get something to eat”. Nonsense. Order your brick of deliciousness from your iPhone and get your ass back to your cubicle. The intern will pick it up and return with your tin foil surprise, pronto. Nevermind that food coma that will ensue after consuming one of these beasts, you’ll be in front of your spreadsheets, looking chargeable. Besides, some of you have extra hours to come up with for next month anyway.
Chipotle launches iPhone ordering app [Denver Business Journal]
Category: Uncategorized
We’re Probably Going to Have to Accept the Fact That Accounting Rules are No Match for the Bank Lobby
We’ve been over this 1000 times but like a bad rash, the issue keeps coming back.
NYT has already accused politicians of meddling in the esoterica of accounting, though personally I think that accusation might have been expressed just a tad too late.
As I mentioned when the July article came out:
More, after the jump
Ex FASB chair and former KPMG partner Edward Trott got it right saying “The area for bank regulators to be involved with accounting standards setting is to help identify the financial information the banks need from others to make appropriate lending and investing decisions. In my experience, banks want current fair value information about assets that serve as collateral for loans. They do not want information about what assets cost two or three years ago.”
Exactly! So what’s the debate about?
Assets are not being valued rationally. If someone can explain the model to me, I would love to hear it.
Or as we now call it, “fuzzy math.”
I’ve never been a huge fan of math, probably a large part of why I ended up on the fringes of the accounting industry, we hardly use it. It’s the rules that are being perverted, not necessarily the numbers. That’s Trott’s point, and he’s not the only one who feels that way.
The problem is that companies (non-financials) need to navigate these waters that have been artificially stirred up to allow banks to appear healthier than they are. Companies are licking their wounds and selling off assets while banks are preening over their profitable quarters? That doesn’t make sense.
Accounting pressure is not new either:
What’s gone unnoticed is that in the late ’90s Summers did nothing to stop former Fed chair Alan Greenspan from pressuring US accounting rule makers to water down a proposed new derivatives accounting rule that may have helped stop the current crisis. Many business leaders had strongly opposed the new rule…In fact, in 1998, Summers testified in Congress against regulating the derivatives market.
The ongoing debate gets stranger. What is there to debate about? The pressure is there, minus the understanding of what occurs as a consequence of these actions. Somehow, the behavior continues and we’re still arguing over it.
Some Might Call it Revenge, Others May Call it Justice
In the fallout of the last weeks layoffs at KPMG, we’ve received many tips that tell stories of betrayal, shock, bitterness, etc. One particular story that we were tipped about however, tells us a story of sweet, sweet revenge in Palin-country:
Get details on the accountant equivalent to Charles Bronson, after the jump
In May KPMG fired a long time partner in its Anchorage office…In the course of a few months the fired partner convinced many of the offices major clients to request proposals from other firms…The three top revenue clients left for other firms. Two of the clients went to Grant Thornton Seattle where it now appears the fired KPMG partner has landed himself. Did I mention that was 30% of the offices revenue?
We’re not sure which of our readers are able to exert this type of influence over clients to get back at their former employers, so we’ll open it up to all stories of revenge for those of you getting the axe. Nothing is too petty so let’s hear it. Besides, isn’t vengeance part of the American way? We would ask that you keep your revenge tales of Kill Bill proportions to yourselves. Discuss in the comments or shoot us your cold dish at tips@goingconcern.com.
Handbridge Swag Now Available
Earlier in the week we told you about DB brokering a new venture. We’re happy to report that it is up and running with all the proceeds going to charity. For you cheapskates out there, don’t get your panties in a bunch, as we’ve got it on pretty good authority that it’s a 501(c)(3) organization. That’s right, we cited the code.
Videos That Make You Regret Your Career Choice
From saving money to possibly the single biggest complete waste of money. Vote on which firm did the best job of humiliating every single employee associated with the Big 4. If you called in sick yesterday due to a cocktail flu or other ailment, get caught up: PwC, KPMG, E&Y, Deloitte.
Vote, after the jump
PCAOB, We are Paying Attention
Public accounting could learn a thing or two from Wall Street. What if we treated the PCAOB like Goldman Sachs does the CFTC and the Treasury? Can you imagine PwC partners dispatched into high-profile regulatory positions doing the dirty work for them? We’d save millions in intern fees (oh wait) since no one would have to run a single shredder.
Case in point, the head of the CFTC (who used to work at Goldman) says, “I believe that position limits should be consistently applied and vigorously enforced. Position limits promote market integrity by guarding against concentrated positions.” And what does he do? Block GS competitors with federal limits while letting his friends run wild in commodities futures. We need one of those on our team!
More, after the jump
Oh wait a minute, we already have that! And it gets better, not only does his work history read “E&Y”, he used to be on Fed payroll as well. Double winner – this is the guy you want heading up the audit board? That’s laughable.
Remember?
Mark W. Olson was recently appointed head of the Public Company Accounting Oversight Board by Chris Cox, SEC Commissioner. This ends months of uncertainty about leadership at the PCAOB or Peekabo as it is popularly known. Mr. Olson was a Governor at the Federal Reserve Board.
In fact, the PCAOB chair’s wife probably hangs out with Goldman wives. A quick glance at his resume reveals the sorts of circles Mr Olson travels in; future partners of Big 4 firms might start setting their goals right about now if they’re trying to out-schmooze this guy.
So if you believe Wall Street and the auditors are that different, you’re wrong. No one is going to call Deloitte the vampire squid but it might be a good idea if we started looking at our own questionable regulatory ties. Perhaps accounting can learn a thing from Wall Street before it hits us like it has them?
And who is letting things go to hell?
Now that Olson has abandoned the PCAOB for bigger and better things, we can only hope his mustachioed replacement and those who come after continue the tradition of questionable business associations set forth by our friends at Goldman Sachs and of course the Big 4. Life just wouldn’t be the same without it.
New Accounting Firm Name Poll
Democracy at its finest. If you need explanation on any of these brilliant combinations, check out the comments from the original post.
Vote, after the jump
PwC’s Re-thinking of the Bell Curve Ranking
A tip we received yesterday mentioned that PwC has been progressively narrowing their performance rating scale. P. Dubs originally had the 1 to 5 scale, then moved down to 1 to 4, and now uses 1 to 3.
Obviously, this leaves less room for interpretation of one’s ranking as it compares to the other firms. As far as we know, E&Y and Deloitte both use 1 to 5, and KPMG has the indecipherable 9 box which is somehow combined with a 1 to 5 scale (we think?).
More, after the jump
So let’s talk about this whole mess. You don’t have to be a Elijah Watts recipient to figure out that, at the very least, PwC is making their rankings clear: 1 – you’re well connected; 2 – you’re lucky; 3 – you’re gone. On the one hand, there’s less confusion. On the other, it’s the firm’s way of squeezing people out based on “performance” rather than admitting that they are impervious to the struggling economy.
The rest of the firms are doing the same thing but due to the unwillingness or inability to make their ranking system less mystifying or subject to manipulation, forced ranking will continue. PwC seems to be the first firm to integrate a system that “legitimizes” it.
Discuss in the comments P. Dubya’s move here and why it works/doesn’t work and what the firms should be doing to improve their ranking systems because as it stands right now, it’s total bunk.
We Have Just the Thing to Cheer You Up
A few of you have poopy diapers out there (you’re not alone). Maybe you got let go yesterday. Maybe your blood sugar is low. Maybe you’ve haven’t gotten laid in long time. Whatever the case may be, we feel for you. The best thing that we can recommend is for you is to participate in something that falls into the category of stupid fun.
So we’re kindly reminding everyone out there to participate in our naming of the new-not-really-mega firm that will exist post the speculated merger we mentioned on Monday.
This is your chance to focus all your energy on coming up with a sexually suggestive name for this new firm. You can either participate or continue to wallow in your own excrement. Your choice.
Dear FASB, I’m Breaking Up With You
Editor’s note: Adrienne Gonzalez is founder and managing editor of Jr Deputy Accountant as well as regular contributor to leading financial/investment sites like Seeking Alpha and GoldmanSachs666. By day, she teaches unlicensed accountants to pass the CPA exam, though what she does in her copious amounts of freetime in the evening is really none of your business. Follow her adventures in Fedbashing and CPA-wrangling on Twitter @adrigonzo but please don’t show up unannounced at her San Francisco office as she’s got a mean streak. Her favorite FASB is 166.
I can’t take it anymore. I’m serious, this is BS. It has been nothing but up and down, agony and ecstasy for as far back as I can remember on fair value and I want off this ride.
More agony, after the jump
The Financial Accounting Standards Board’s updated fair-value rules will require companies to fully understand fair-value and mark-to-market concepts and extensively document their analysis of illiquid assets, as this article notes. The FASB gave companies some new latitude in applying fair-value principles but stood firmly behind the importance of fair value in preparing meaningful financial statements.
Stop, please. This is getting to be abusive.
Remember when you whispered in our ear, “Certainly, to those who say that accounting should better reflect true economic substance, fair value, rather than historical cost, would generally seem to be the better measure” in 2003, Bob Herz? We totally fell for it. Who wouldn’t? Swept off of our feet and still hurting from Enron, we needed a rebound and fair value totally worked.
Now what?
I truly wish you and IASB the best of luck in whatever you two decide to do with your miserable little lives.
WebCPA:
While FASB may be pushing back in the other direction and mulling the use of fair value and mark-to-mark with bank loans in addition to assets like mortgage-backed securities, the IASB seems to be tacking in an alternative direction. That could be leading them on the road to divergence, not convergence.
And I’m defriending you on Facebook, Bob. At least you know your new girlfriend does fair value.
Love,
AG
Dealbreaker RFP
Bess and Greg are getting entrepreneurial over at DB and are probably going to need someone help them count the asston of cash they’re going to rake in as a result.
Those of you thinking about forming your own firm to pick up the ganja engagement probably have the best shot.