Apparently at the Coney Island Mermaid Parade.
Coney Island Mermaid Parade – 2010 [Flickr via DI]
Category: News
“Faceless” Tax Worker Turns Out to Be a Hottie…Oh and She Saved a Man’s Life
Tax workers of any stripe – federal or state – get hated on. Given. Buzzwords of disdain like “faceless bureaucrats,” “lazy government employees,” “good-for-nothing-except-for-sucking-up-government-resources freedom haters” and so on and so forth get thrown around with reckless abandon.
However, if you knew that your state department of revenue public servants looked like Natalie Brown (right) and just so happened to be responsible for saving a taxpayer’s life, then maybe Tea Partiers and their derivatives would exercise a little more restraint.
Unless of course they’re also against hotties and random acts of kindness.
When [Earl] Phillips called the state Department of Revenue last month to get answers about his state income tax bill, the faceless Frankfort bureaucrat who called him back saved his life.
Now Phillips thinks Department of Revenue employee Natalie Brown — who dialed 911 when Phillips had a heart attack during that May 26th phone call — should receive more than a simple thank you.
[…]
Phillips, an Adair County construction worker, received a tax notice in late May with Brown’s name and phone numberWhen Brown returned the call he’d placed, she noticed that Phillips, 60, seemed out of sorts.
“I noticed he was breathing really heavily,” Brown said Friday. “I could tell something was wrong.”
At this point, you might expect to read that the government employee placed the phone down to ask their supervisor to get permission to call the on-site nurse (in accordance with the proper protocols). At which point, another co-worker would pop in, suggest they take a break for coffee and a bun and dying taxpayer would be left on the hook.
But nothing of the sort happened! Natalie Brown was on this, knowing that any delay could mean life or death and certainly less future revenue for the state of Kentucky.
Brown verified she had the correct address for Phillips — which was on his tax forms — and called Adair County 911.
Shortly after that, emergency crews arrived and took Phillips, who was home alone, to a local hospital. He was later transferred to a Louisville hospital, where doctors put a stent, or tube, in his heart. He had a 90 percent blockage in one of his arteries, Phillips said.
Hot, lifesaving, tax worker This has reality TV written all over it.
Tax worker helps save taxpayer’s life [Kentucky Herald-Leader via TaxProf]
Pennsylvania Lawmakers Invite Citizens to Get on This Fiscal Crisis Thing
Either some Pennsylvania lawmakers are out of ideas for closing the state’s budget gap or they’re sick of the belly aching from the Keystone citizens because they’ve decided to put out there for the ordinary Quakers to give their suggestions for fiscal improvement.
So far there has been approximately 750 suggestions that range from consolidating school districts, “El excess management positions. 15 school districts in one county equals 15 superintendents, health care plans, IT departments, administrative departments, maintenance depts and so on” to downsizing the size of the state legislature, “downsize our legislature, there has been several articles on our size compared to other states whith [sic] smaller legislatures and much larger populations.”
Of course there are less constructive ideas such as the idea of having one huge pee party from “Gary” in Mount Joy (our bolding):
URINALYSIS for everyone who receives their salary from Tax dollars. Every tax dollar that comes out of our pocket pays for every teacher in the state, every state trooper, every state university professor, every congressman. We as taxpayers need to know that our tax dollars are not being used to fund illegal/ illicit drug use. We should have a Urinalysis for Every Teacher, every Congressman, every State worker, Every Professor of the state universities. If that is implemented, you will notice a lot of retirements/resignations. Saving the tax payers loads of money as well as stimulating the workforce because of the jobs that will need to be filled. This Is not an invasion of privacy.
EVERYONE IS ON DOPE!
And then there’s “frank” from York, PA who isn’t buying this pollution nonsense:
get rid of state car inspections & emissions testting [sic] – all the garbage about the air is all made up. And if we are the only country doing so, it proves that the goverment are liars! Yea every knows thats true
“Joe Wehner” from Pittsburgh just feels like hating on the whole process, thankyouverymuch:
Like our government, this site is a joke! They only publish dumb democrat liberal views. GOD Forbid any views that work… They won’t publish views outside of their agenda to ruin America.
But we like we said, there are some decent suggestions.
Pennsylvania website takes taxpayers’ ideas to save money [Philadelphia Inquirer]
URINALYSIS for everyone who receives their salary from Tax dollars. Every tax dollar that comes out of our pocket pays for every teacher in the state, every state trooper, every state university professor, every congressman. We as taxpayers need to know that our tax dollars are not being used to fund illegal/ illicit drug use. We should have a Urinalysis for Every Teacher, every Congressman, every State worker, Every Professor of the state universities. If that is implemented, you will notice a lot of retirements/resignations. Saving the tax payers loads of money as well as stimulating the workforce because of the jobs that will need to be filled. This Is not an invasion of privacy.
EVERYONE IS ON DOPE!
And then there’s “frank” from York, PA who isn’t buying this pollution nonsense:
get rid of state car inspections & emissions testting [sic] – all the garbage about the air is all made up. And if we are the only country doing so, it proves that the goverment are liars! Yea every knows thats true
“Joe Wehner” from Pittsburgh just feels like hating on the whole process, thankyouverymuch:
Like our government, this site is a joke! They only publish dumb democrat liberal views. GOD Forbid any views that work… They won’t publish views outside of their agenda to ruin America.
But we like we said, there are some decent suggestions.
Pennsylvania website takes taxpayers’ ideas to save money [Philadelphia Inquirer]
Grant Thornton Survey: More Bank Execs Think the Economy Will Suck Less Eventually, Maybe
No! It’s true! Forty-five percent think things are going to be WAYYYY better in the next months, just in time for Christmaskuh!
That’s up from 24% in December ’09.
John Ziegelbauer, national managing partner of Grant Thornton’s Financial Institutions practice, testifies:
Bankers across the country are starting to become more optimistic about both the U.S. economy and their own local economy…Their optimism about the economy is spilling over into their own banks, with bankers reporting that they are also cautiously optimistic about the number of people they expect to hire in the coming months. Overall, it appears that bankers believe that the economy has finally turned a corner.
Except that 55% of those surveyed expect to be the same (i.e. sucks) or get worse and don’t forget, no one is hiring.
On with the jobless recovery!
Big jump in number of bank execs that expect the economy to improve in next six months [GT]
Spending $1.25 Million on Bridges for Squirrels Isn’t the Worst Idea Arizona Has Ever Had
Okay, so Arizona is spending $1.25 million to build bridges for the endangered Mount Graham red squirrel and of course a bunch of people are in a big huff.
ABC News reports that without the bridges, approximately five squirrels would be killed a year and there are only 250 are known to be in existence.
Yes, that works out to $5,000 a squirrel but considering the fact that animals are far more responsible and respectful inhabitants of the planet than humans, we’ve got no beef with this.
Especially considering the fact that Arizona has had far worse ideas in its history including opposing Martin Luther King Day until 1992, its asinine immigration policy and the Phoenix Coyotes.
Arizona Spends $1.25M to Save 250 Squirrels [ABC News via Tax Policy Blog]
BKD Partner Found Dead at His Office
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Fifty-one year old Daniel Hayworth was found dead at the BKD offices in Joplin, Missouri on Sunday afternoon.
The Springfield Journal Reports that Mr Hayworth had several leadership positions with the firm including the firm’s national construction and real estate group, national manufacturing and distribution group and chair of the manufacturing and distribution committee.
According to Newton County Coroner Mark Bridges told us that Mr Hayworth had a history of hypertension and high blood pressure, accordingly his office ruled that the cause of death was a massive heart attack.
Our email to a BKD spokesperson was not immediately returned.
John Wanamaker, the managing partner of BKD’s Souther Missouri unit was quoted by the SBJ, saying, “Dan was such a great guy, and this is such an unexpected and untimely event. He was clearly a great man, a great husband to his wife, Lynn, a great BKD partner, and a great friend, and he will be unbelievably missed.”
Accountant’s ‘Ridiculous Amount of Time’ Surfing the Web Not Ridiculous Enough to Warrant Firing
We realize that hardly any of you will be able to relate to this story but we’ll present it as a point of reference in case you know of anyone that gets jammed up in the future.
David Innes, 42, was fired from his job at Scottish and Southern Energy after TPTB decided that he was spending a little too much time surfing the web. In their words, a ‘ridiculous amount of time.’ And to get an idea of ridiculous, 27,500 website hits was the magic number.
This is quite a jump over the 16,000 hits that an SEC accountant spent looking at porn. This randy ne’er do well managed to keep his/her job as well as the other porn junkies. If you make the assumption that Innes had a SEC-esque porn habit, that still leaves a lot of surfing to be done.
Regardless, it’s safe to assume that somewhere in between 16,000 and 27,500 hits (presumably in a month) lies the threshold of you being thrown out on your ass.
However, a Glasgow tribunal found that Scottish and Southern didn’t really have a frame of reference for “a ridiculous amount of time” since David Pratt, the man who fired Innes, “made no attempt to obtain advice from the respondent’s IT department. His view was essentially that he was faced with this enormous report and this therefore showed an extraordinary amount of internet usage.”
In other words, a “ridiculous amount of time” is subjective, as is “a lot of time,” “quite a bit of time,” or “a metric ass-ton of time.” And even if you do reach your own perceived level of unacceptable web surfing volume, you still better check with the IT boys to see what their opinion on hella-web surfing is before you go firing people like Steinbrenner.
Meanwhile, for you do-nothings out there, it appears that your time wasted at work surfing the web can easily be defended, although you can safely assume that if you wade into the NSFW waters, your chances of survival are slim.
If You Were Expecting a Nice Breezy Internship with Plante & Moran, You’re Going to Be Disappointed
This is serious P&M interns. You probably thought this little summer jaunt at P&M would be just an easy way to get some overtime hours and blow all your money on booze. Well. Actually, it might be you’ll also be expected to walk in on Monday and pull your weight.
Coffee jockeys? No. Xerox duty? Of course but it will be only the important documents. But scavenger hunts? Forget it. The only scavenger hunt you’ll be going is for material misstatements.
Annually, more than 100 students experience a three to four month paid internship. The latest round of students will begin their internships on June 14 in Michigan, Ohio and Illinois firm offices. On the agenda? An Intern Summit, which is a two-day, off-site meeting focused mainly on team-building and community service projects. At the end, interns give a formal presentation on their reflections and lessons learned from the experience.
[…]
“As an assurance intern, I was given the opportunity to go into the field and perform real audit work, not just sit behind a desk or get people their coffee,” said Staci Tobe, a former Plante & Moran intern and Michigan University student. “I also appreciated the firm’s open door policy. I never expected to be able to walk into a partner’s office and seek advice, but Plante & Moran encouraged it.”
Presentations on team building! Real audit work! Getting a partner’s advice! Oh, and no short sleeves because you’ll be expected to roll them up and bare arms aren’t acceptable.
The Nasdaq Would Like to Know When Koss Is Going to Get Around to Submitting Some Financial Statements
Remember last month when Koss decided to file their 10-Q without financial statements? At the time the company said it was “due to delays relating to certain previously disclosed unauthorized transactions.”
In other words, we got ripped off so bad that we’re restating financial statements for half a decade and it isn’t exactly something you can whip up like a batch of maui wowie brownies.
The Nasdaq has taken note of the slight delay and has said if you don’t get us numbers by June 30, you’ll be on the pink sheets with the likes of Lehman Brothers.
CEO Michael Koss has assured everyone that it won’t come to this but obviously we’ll have to wait until the SEC posts the filing. If that doesn’t happen, you’ll be able to add “Koss Delisted by Nasdaq” to Suz’s list of destructive accomplishments.
Koss gets warning from Nasdaq [Milwaukee Business Journal]
Job of the Day: BlackRock Needs a Senior Manager of Financial Reporting
BlackRock is looking an experienced professional to join its iShares Fund Administration group as a Senior Manager of Financial Reporting in its San Francisco office.
Qualifications include 10 years experience in the investment industry with a CPA and management experienced preferred.
Company: BlackRock
Title: Senior Manager, Financial Reporting
Location: San Francisco, CA
Description: This financial reporting role will include project management, contribution to technical accounting interpretation and review responsibility in managing the development, production and distribution of the annual and semi-annual reports to shareholders for iShares products. The candidate will be responsible for the review and timely filing of various SEC regulatory filings, including Form N-SAR, Form N-CSR and Form N-Q.
Responsibilities: Manage development, production and timely distribution of fund regulatory/shareholder materials relating to financial reporting under the Investment Company Act of 1940, including annual and semi-annual reports, Form N-SAR, Form N-CSR and Form N-Q; Ensure that content and disclosure for regulatory filings related to financial reporting, are complete and current in accordance with generally accepted accounting principles (GAAP) and relevant SEC rules; Manage audits for multiple fiscal year ends, including relationships with auditors, administrators and internal stakeholders; Proofread and serve as quality control for regulatory filings; Manage development and implementation of new SEC requirements as they relate to financial reporting; Seek continuous process improvement and maintain the financial reporting policies and procedures; Contribute to identifying, researching, and communicating recent authoritative pronouncements.
Qualifications/Skills: BS/BA degree in business administration or accounting, CPA preferred; 10+ years of investment industry and management experience preferred; In-depth knowledge of funds reporting under the Investment Company Act of 1940.
See the entire description over at the GC Career Center and visit the main page for all your job search needs.
It’s Ridiculous to Think That Enterprise Financial Dismissed KPMG Because of the Restatements
KPMG has been kicked to the curb by Enterprise Financial according to an 8-K that was filed on Friday by the company. The ubiquitous claim of “no disagreements with [insert firm]” was there along with a mention of a material weakness that was related to the restatements issued for both 2008 and 2007 but that couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the dismissal of the auditors:
In connection with the identification of the loan participation accounting error described in Item 7, Management Discussion & Analysis and in Item 8, Note 2 of the consolidated financial statements and elsewhere in the Form 10K dated March 16, 2010, the Company also determined that a material weakness in its internal controls over financial reporting existed during the periods affected by the error, including as of December 31, 2008. The Company’s management concluded that the material weakness was the Company’s lack of a formal process to periodically review existing contracts and agreements with continuing accounting significance. To remediate this material weakness, during the fourth quarter of 2009 the Company implemented a formal process to review all contracts and agreements with continuing accounting significance on an annual basis. As a result of the review conducted in the fourth quarter, management did not identify any other errors in its previous accounting for such contracts or agreements. Management believes that this new process has remediated the material weakness in the Company’s internal control over financial reporting.
So in other words, “Yeah, maybe we should have been looking at these contracts but we weren’t and so some material misstatements slid through. We’ve slapped some duct tape on it and it’ll be fine from here on it. End of story.”
The esteemed pleasure of auditing Enterprise now belongs to Deloitte who has now snagged three clients from KPMG this year (by our count) – picking up Jefferies and Select Comfort back in March.
Enterprise Bank parent dismisses KPMG [St. Louis Business Journal]