Category: Big 4

If it happens at a Big 4 accounting firm, we’re talking about it here.

KPMG Halloween Party: Don’t Expect Treats in the Form of Bonuses

With the cancellation of Christmaskah by most of the Big 4, one would think that a small Halloween fiesta would at least be possible (you know, for the kids).
Good news! At least one KPMG office is contemplating the idea, with the local staff’s help (italics are from the original email):

For $5 you may wear jeans. All donations will be used for the Family Halloween Party. If you would like to participate, please see [redacted] at the reception desk on the 27th floor.

Please note that if you are at a client site that does not subscribe to jeans day, you still need to dress to the client’s dress code.

Please remember you are still in a professional environment and wear professional clothing with your jeans. Additionally, please wear jeans that are in good condition to obtain a clean, professional appearance.

Got it? You want bite-sized 3 Musketeers, Snickers, and the like, you can pay for it. And btw, if you come in with frayed hems, your ass will be sent home.

Rumor Mill: Ernst & Young Bermuda Needs a Few More Hours Out of You

According to a tip we received, beginning this week E&Y is requiring its professionals in Bermuda to charge 50 hours a week through mid-December. This is up from from the normal 40, according to our source.
Our source also indicated that the mandatory 50 hours is considerably more than what the other firms require, citing Deloitte who “has minimum 37.5 hours year round.”
For our friends working offshore, give us the scoop on your hours approaching year end. We also expect a few of you have worked in Bermuda and even more of you have worked with professionals in the Bermuda or other offshore offices, discuss your thoughts in the comments.

The PwC Experience, Romania Edition, Involves Fifteen Unpaid Days Off for Everyone

mandatory.jpgWhores PwC employees in Romania are being sent on mandatory vacay starting this month through June 2010. The leave will be for fifteen days and will be unpaid, according to Ziarul Financiar, a daily financial newspaper published in Bucharest.
We were hoping that the firm would require everyone to take the same fifteen days off in order to participate in a firm wide charity event but instead PwC Romania has asked to employees to take turns being quasi-unemployed for half a month and will simply do more with less.
This is not a measure that we have heard about occurring Stateside but there have been delayed start dates and sabbaticals which some may say are close enough. However, the innate ability for Big 4 types in the U.S. to show up to work when they aren’t supposed to would certainly foil any potential cost savings. Until, of course, someone reminds them, “Aren’t you supposed to be on vacation?” to which the glutton for punishment replies, “Oh, I’m not charging the time.”

If There Was a Huge Braveheart-esque Battle Between Accounting Firms in Chicago, Our Money Would Be on Deloitte

braveheart460.jpgNot because they’re face-painting, Chuck Liddell types with crazy-ass axe skills. No, all those accountants migrated to the Mecca of hand-to-hand combat in America, Las Vegas.
Our choice is simply based on the numbers. According to Crain’s list of largest accounting firms in Chicago, Uncle Dangle has over 3,300 professionals in the six county area surrounding Chicago while #2 PwC has just under 1,800.
Deloitte’s huge advantage is due to the over 1,200 management advisory service professionals and nearly 750 tax professionals (who, frankly, are the real badasses).
Now to point out Uncle Dangle’s advantage in such a way may be superficial and pointless but challenging another firm in a battle to the death force others into the fetal position may become an option worth considering the dire situation for accountants in Chicago. Plus, the thought of thousands of accountants doing battle via open-handed slaps and sublte insults about documentation and pen color hierarchy is too hilarious to ignore.

Rumor Mill: More E&Y Partner Slip-Ups

Does anyone want a job helping socially awkward partners at E&Y? After last week’s inappropriate ice-breaker rumor, we received another tip about a partner leaving a sensitive voicemail with all employees in the region:

The voice mail says this is for partners only and then discusses the new model EY will be using to determine the # of admin staff in an office and gives the date when admin cuts will happen. Also talks about how all partners will be required to do a mid year review in Jan 2009 (by the way, we all heard the partners saying later how this had never been done in the past so clearly it was papering the files for upcoming partner cuts).

According to the tip we received, the partner decided that leaving another voicemail, asking all non-partners to delete the first message, was the next logical course of action. On the one hand, assuming that all E&Y employees would abide by the honor system and delete the first message represents the strong faith this partner had in their employees.
On the other, it may have been just as effective to say “Don’t worry about that last message, I was just fucking with you.”

Rumor Mill: E&Y CEO Jim Turley Is Appropriately Compensated

Thumbnail image for jim turley2.jpgMaybe! Depends on who you ask. We’re looking for opinions since we received a tip on what Jim Turley is pulling down:

Saw some info yesterday in a partner’s office. JDawg is pulling down $6 million…every year in October timeframe the partners at EY get a partner report on the “partner news network”. In this report EY shows partner information – the 5 highest paid US partners that are not in client service. So this includes generally JDawg, the AABS managing partner, tax managing partner, the Americas Vice Chair and a few other vice chairs. They started giving out this information about 4-5 years ago.

Our tip also stated that the non-J Dawg execs were pulling down in the nabe of $2.5 million.
Considering that J Dawg’s CEO duties include appearances on CNBC, being an IFRS cheerleader and eating f*(king chicken with Rahm, among other glad-handing and back-slapping duties, $6 mil makes for a nice round number.
Is $6 million fair for J Dawg? Discuss in the comments and pass along any further details you’ve got JT or other CEO salaries.

Ex-Deloitte Analyst Is the New Wunderkind at the SEC

Thumbnail image for gun_awkward.jpgWunderkind is a little premature but we’re hopeful! Awhile back we encouraged you to help the ailing Securities and Exchange Commission get its act together. We had really no expectation that anyone would take us seriously.
On Friday, the Commission announced that 29-year old Adam Storch would be the new Chief Operating Officer of the enforcement division. Storch joined the SEC on October 13th to assume the newly created position.


It’s pretty obvious that Storch craves letters behind his name as he has “certifications in accounting, fraud examination and auditing” according to Bloomberg. JDA isn’t impressed:

As a 28 year old myself let me tell you, this is beyond disheartening. We should not be in charge of anything, much less our nation’s regulatory enforcement. We are a generation of self-centered, lazy morons (yeah I said it) and sure there are a few exceptions but for the most part, no one my age will do anything unless they get a pat on the head and a “good boy” gold star just for pissing in the toilet instead of on the floor.

The biggest headline grabber (aside from urination accuracy) is that Storch is an ex-Goldman employee which is all fine and dandy for conspiratorial purposes but he is also an ex-Uncle Dangler where he was a, GASP, “senior analyst”. He’s definitely kicking himself for missing out on 100% free preventive healthcare.
The ‘Berg doesn’t have many other details on the Enforcement Division’s new fearless leader, so we invite any details on Mr. Storch for those that worked with him. Boxers or briefs? Boozehound or teetotaler? Does he get to carry a gun at the Commission? Since he’s in “enforcement” he’s got to be packing, especially as the COO. Khuzami probably has to take off the trigger locks for him though. Good luck man.
SEC Names Goldman’s Storch as Enforcement Unit Operations Chief [Bloomberg]

KPMG Detroit MIA from Free Press’s ‘Top Workplaces’ List

Disappointment.jpgWhen we learned that KPMG had been left off the Detroit Free Press’s list of Top Workplaces 2009, we thought that it had to be a mistake.
We’re so used to accounting firms being found on “Top Place to/for [enter anything about yourself here]” lists that we almost called up the DFP to demand a recount. Then we got to wondering what HR/Marketing did with the boilerplate email to be sent to employees? Just save the draft and said, “We’ll get ’em next year”?


Well, this is all very awk. Especially since PwC (dropped from the top spot last year, btw), Deloitte, and E&Y find themselves in #2, #3, and #4 on the list for large employers.
So far we haven’t been able to determine if KPMG Detroit has been on the list in years past (which at least makes them consistent) so maybe Motown has decided to pack it in. The firm makes every national “Best of” list but is omitted from your own city’s list? How do the local bigwigs spin that one?
“We realize that we didn’t make the Best Workplaces list here in Detroit but we have made many national lists. You can all take comfort in knowing that KPMG is a great place to work in every city but ours.“
Regardless of how seriously the firms take the “local” lists, for the other three firms to be listed and the Radio Station to be MIA makes for a big bowl of “how the hell do we explain this one?”. Especially when you consider the methodology: “The rankings are solely based on employee feedback.”
Look, we could sit here and speculate on the reasons why KPMG was left off the list but we’re better off leaving that to you. Discuss the Radio Station’s omission in the comments.
Alphabetical listing of Top Workplaces 2009 [DFP]
Large employers survive by encouraging inclusion [DFP]
Earlier: Rumor of the Day: Deloitte Snagging Chrysler Audit from KPMG?
Earlier: Chrysler Auditor Switcheroo Follow-up

Mavericks Need Not Apply at Ernst & Young

sarah-palin.jpgFINS has a short chat with E&Y’s Director of Experienced Recruiting, Maureen Kelleher, discussing, well, jobs at E&Y.
Highlights that you might enjoy find interesting:
Getting ahead: “It’s about being a team player — to take leadership responsibility but to not be a maverick.”
Salaries: “We’re staying the course, as it were. We have extremely competitive salaries. We reward for performance. Granted, our firm is not immune to the economy, so the proportion of all that is probably not as great as it has been in the past.”
Layoffs: “We’ve been watching our costs, and that’s about as much as I’ll say about that.”
“Staying the course” may simply be another way of saying, “It’s fair“. Also, the “watching costs” response? We feel Ms. Kelleher could have answered better here but maybe Big 4 rhetoric isn’t our strong suit.
Check out the whole interview over at FINS, and feel free to discuss your non-mavericky firm in the comments.
Maureen Kelleher: Ernst & Young [FINS]

E&Y’s Entrepreneur of the Year Award Just Got a Little More Prestigious

Jim Turley3.jpgFrom what we can tell, the Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year award is a BFD. If the other Big 4 have their own versions of this award, we sure haven’t heard of them.
And even if Deloitte were to start handing out the Uncle Dangle Vigilante of the Year award, it would pale in comparison to the EYEY because, now, a past winner is going to be on The Real Housewives of New York City.
Jennifer Gilbert won her EYEY in 1998 for her business, Save the Date, “A dedicated force of event planners who are in tune with the constantly evolving world of corporate events.” She’s even in the EYEY Hall of Fame. Jesus, this thing has a HoF?
J Dawg has to be bursting over this. Shamelessly up on his desk fist pumping, Tiger Woods style. A soon-to-be reality TV star that, God willing, will name drop E&Y every chance she gets on cable would be the best thing that ever happened to the firm. Sorry, NASCAR HoF.
The Real Housewives of New York Adds a Second New Non-Housewife [Gawker]