Contribution awards at PwC were given out last pay period. Talking to who I perceive as top performers in my group (Tax line of service), the upper range of the bonus was $1k.
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Who Knew that E&Y had a Creative Art Department?
- Caleb Newquist
- September 9, 2009
Today, in how your firm spent your bonus news, we present you with Zitor, an alien who somehow ended up in Uncle Ernie’s shop. Zitor then ended up being assigned a counselee for year-end reviews which is fairly realistic considering his lack of expertise and work experience.
Zitor was apparently designed and plugged into the Ernstiverse to demonstrate how to be completely unprepared for a the year-end review process as a counselor.
What’s odd is that most counselors seem to be using logic from another planet so it’s not outside the realm of possibility that this was based on actual methods used.
Regardless of the genesis of this idea, it probably goes without saying that this had to be complete and utter failure for those of you with maturity levels above the age of 13. Nevermind that no one can decipher how accounting firms determine who the best performers are anyway.
Included with this frivolous attempt to relate to the troops, if you were so inclined, you could submit ideas for the line below from Zitor to end up in the next video for this “Coach from Another Planet”. While that sounds incredibly lame and worthy of our ridicule, we’ve decided to let you take a stab at it instead.
The line has been modified slightly to allow your much more creative suggestions to be submitted in the comments:
“At E&Y, we do not give feedback. We give ___________.”
Do your worst.
KPMG Silicon Valley Office Dangles “November Jeans Month” To Help Boost Poor Employee Survey Response Rate
- Caleb Newquist
- October 21, 2010
Last week John Veihmeyer asked everyone at KPMG to share their thoughts on what the firm does well but also what the firm can do to improve its awesomeness.
Well, apparently some of you in the Silicon Valley office didn’t get the hint. Your pathetic response rate of 23% (as of this writing) has some people worried that you’re not taking this shit serious. In order to get you to spring into action, the office honchos have dangled two carrots in the form of five lucky ducks winning a $200 AMEX gift card but the big opportunity here is the possibility (albeit a longshot) for wearing denim EVERY SINGLE DAY in the month of November.
2010 Employee Work Environment Survey & Jeans Month!
INTERNAL USE ONLY
As you know, the 2010 Employee Work Environment Survey is underway and will run through Monday, October 25.
The Silicon Valley Office currently has a 23% response rate.
If you have not already responded, I encourage you to do so as your feedback helps us to identify our strengths and our weaknesses and provides us with ideas on how we can become an even better place to work and a higher performing organization.
On October 11, you received an e-mail from John Veihmeyer and Henry Keizer with personal login information to access the electronic survey. If you haven’t done so, please review that e-mail and access and complete the survey before October 25.
Please note that all participants’ responses will remain confidential, and will go directly to our external survey provider, Kenexa, for tabulation. Kenexa will not report aggregate scores for departments with less than 10 responses.
Remember that all employees who complete the survey have the opportunity to enter a drawing in which five randomly selected respondents will receive a $200 American Express gift card. The survey site will provide instructions to enter. The winner will be announced after October 25.
Last year, the Silicon Valley office’s survey response rate was 70%. In order to establish a wider range of views and suggestions, I’d like to set a goal of 80% this year. So we are giving you an added incentive to respond to the survey. If the Silicon Valley office receives an 80% response rate, then the month of November will be “Jeans Month” and you can wear jeans to the Silicon Valley Office every day next month.
Thank you for participating, and we will share results with you later this year.
So for those of you that are ruining it for everyone else, do you not recognize what is at stake here? Are you not interested in providing exquisite client service in the cool, comfort of denim for 30 straight days? Do you really want to be standing around the water cooler in khakis explaining to someone that you didn’t complete the survey? If so, we hope you can sleep well.
Boo-hoo: A Certain U.K. Online Fashion Retailer Might Have a Hard Time Finding a New Auditor (UPDATE)
- Jason Bramwell
- December 21, 2020
[Updated on Dec. 21 with additional information.] Something called PKF Littlejohn will replace PwC as […]
