Caption Contest Friday: The AICPA Will Convince You to Save Money By Freaking You Out

We don’t know who the hell the AICPA has working in the marketing department but they need to get in touch. We have some questions.
Below is Benjamin Bankes at the New York City Marathon. If you’re not familiar with Ben, he is the spokesswine for the AICPA’s “Feed the Pig” campaign.
We’ve presented three photos for your caption suggestions. See the rest after the jump.
ben bankes at the NYC marathon.jpg


Ben Bankes2.jpg
ben3.jpg
Rules are the same: Submit possible captions for all the photos in the comments. We’ll choose our favorites — with preference given to those with an accounting bent — and then let you vote for the best one.

KPMG Has Its Reasons for Banning Google Talk

Klynveldians have been warned about certain software that should not, under any circumstances, be downloaded by any of you:
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In the firm’s defense — and since they didn’t mention it — many of these programs are used by you to waste precious billable hours complaining to each other about a myriad of things including why the Phil Mickelson hats only come in black and white and where Tim Flynn and John Veihmeyer buy their suits (we hear Marshall’s but that could be total bupkis).
Furthermore, we’re not going to sit here and say that none of these programs present a legitimate risk. That would be foolhardy and insensitive.
What we do wonder about is what “disciplinary action” involves. Feel free to wildly speculate on this in the comments.

Job of the Week: GTT (Gone to Texas)?

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for hire me2.jpgSince we’ve just gone through another week marred by layoffs, it might be time to consider some options.
In the 19th Century, people went to Texas to escape their troubles, so we figure this could be a possible solution for somebody (including those that already live there).
NetworkersMSB has a position in Dallas that could be your ticket back to the high life.


Location: Dallas
Title: Finance Manager
Compensation: $90,000 – $100,000
Responsibilities: Monthly preparation of financial reports for the Group Financial Controller; Managing the company’s financial accounting, monitoring and reporting systems; Liaising with our accountants to ensure all State and federal tax obligations are met; To assist in the preparation of the year end statutory accounting for audit UK purposes; Providing annual budget information for respective market unit; Cash flow forecasting; Developing financial management mechanisms that minimise financial risk; Assisting in the development of sister companies financial departments within the North and South American region.
Requirements: Strong knowledge of accounting and US GAAP; Knowledge and experience of state and federal tax obligations; Experience in payrolling of employees; CPA qualified
See the entire description over at the GC Career Center and check out the rest of the jobs at the Career Center homepage.

Irony in the Daily CPA Letter

From a reader:

Here are two headlines, in this order, on CPA Daily Letter this morning. Fannie Mae decides to rent to people that are currently not able to pay their mortgage? Peaked my interest and made me ask the question, “WHAT?” Then, I scrolled down and read the second headline…and then thought…well, yeah…that would be the necessary outcome…time for a new business model anyone?

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While the reader has a good point (i.e. Fannie Mae is still a giant shitshow and should seriously consider going back to the drawing board) we’re more curious as to who over at the CPA Letter has the sense of humor. Then again, it could be one giant coincidence.

Apparently Accounting Rule Convergence Is Not 100% Total Convergence

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for merge.jpgYesterday the FASB and IASB got together and spent 23 pages convincing everyone that convergence of accounting rules will happen by June 2011. If you haven’t been convinced by the steps one paragraph statement that was issued saying how ‘encouraged’ she is about the latest re-re-affirming.
There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that there will be a single set of accounting rules — for the entire financial reporting universe — rolled out and everything will be right with the world in June 2011.


But will it be a single set of standards? Edith Orenstein of FEI Financial Reporting Blog:

It is interesting to note that the FASB-IASB joint statement speaks in some places of converging to a ‘single’ set of standards, and in other places of converging to a ‘common’ set of standards. To some, these terms can mean a world of difference. However, the terms are often used interchangably by many different parties. For example, here are some excerpts from the joint statement:

We are redoubling our efforts to achieve a single set of high quality standards within the context of our respective independent standard-setting processes.
Our goal is to develop together common standards that improve financial reporting in the US and internationally and that foster global comparability. Achieving such improvements is consistent with the objectives of the IASB that are set out in the Constitution of the IASC Foundation. It also fulfils the responsibility the FASB has under US law and the Securities and Exchange Commission’s 2003 Policy Statement to consider, in developing standards, whether international convergence is necessary and appropriate in the public interest and investor protection.

(emphasis original)
That clears it up, doesn’t it? So it’s either a “single set” or “common standards”? FEI Blog thinks it’s a progression, “Presumably, once a set of ‘common standards’ is acheived, the next step would be to officially adopt one set (again, presumably, IFRS, which is used in over 100 countries) as the ‘single’ global standard.”
While this may be the case it still doesn’t mean that everything will be the same.
CFO:

“Convergence doesn’t necessarily mean the same,” says D.J. Gannon, a Deloitte audit partner and the firm’s expert on international financial-reporting standards. In fact, Gannon says, there is no expectation that any of “the lingering differences” between rules that are already converged will be handled through standard-setting. “So the bottom line is that companies [reporting results under U.S. generally accepted accounting principles] are going to have to deal with those differences if they apply international financial-reporting standards at some point in the future.”

Good lord. So for all practical purposes, it sounds like there will still be differences. Frankly, we’re disappointed in this revelation. If someone had told us from the get-go that it wasn’t going to be 100% the same accounting rules we wouldn’t have made such a big stink about the absolute impossibility of the endeavor. Going forward we’ll be taking this even less serious.
FASB, IASB Reaffirm Convergence By June, 2011 [FEI Financial Reporting Blog]
“Convergence Doesn’t Necessarily Mean the Same.” [CFO]

Preliminary Analytics | 11.06.09

Thumbnail image for IRS_logo-thumb-150x140.jpgHow to Audit-Proof Your Tax Return: Don’t e-File – Those IRS reviewers aren’t too keen on looking at numbers on paper. [TaxProf Blog]
Unemployment in U.S. Jumps to 10.2%, Payrolls Fall by 190,000 – Double digits for the first time since ’83 [Bloomberg]
AIG posts second consecutive quarterly profit – $455 million is not going to cut it. Step it up AIG. [Reuters]
Inside-Trade Probe Snares ‘Octopussy’Whew. Without nicknames, this story wouldn’t be taken nearly as seriously. [WSJ]

Review Comments | 11.05.09

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for GT_elves.jpg88% of senior financial executives believe positions of CEO and chairman of the board should be separate – The latest from the press release elves. [GT Press Release]
California Dreaming in Congress – “California just jacked up its withholding rates to force people to overpay their taxes, because the State decided it needs the money more than the subjects do. Most people find this sleazy and outrageous, which means Congress finds it inspirational.” [Tax Update Blog]
IAASB Alerts Auditors to Get Skeptical on Confirmations – Don’t worry, the PCAOB is on the case too. [Compliance Week]
PwC off the hook over Satyam? Not so fast! – Dennis Howlett has questions about yesterday’s Satyam ruling. [AccMan]
House Extends Jobless Benefits and Home Credits – Passed by 391 votes. Next stop: BO’s desk. [NYT]

Would You Like Another Certificate on Your Wall?

Thumbnail image for MelanconBCROP2.jpgWe knew it. Lucky for you, there will be a brand spanking new certificate come May of 2010:

Because members will need to be able to demonstrate a competency in IFRS, the AICPA plans to launch in May 2010 an IFRS Certificate of Accomplishment for CPAs, which will require 72 hours of content to complete.

AICPA President and CEO Barry Melancon* is acutely aware of your disdain for paint and wallpaper so this latest certificate should fit in nicely with the myriad of other certificates on the wall of your office.
You’re certainly not ashamed of your handsomely framed “[Name] Has Successfully Completed Auditing Cash – 2004” certificate so an IFRS Certificate of Accomplishment will look damn good up there.
Melancon: Issues Facing CPAs Include Globalization, Economic Recovery [Journal of Accountancy]
*Two things: 1) How long has this guy been the HFMIC at the AICPA? Is it a lifetime appointment like the SCOTUS? and 2) How do you think he gets his hair to do that?

Will Big 4 Firms Get Access to the Swine Flu Vaccine?

swine.jpgNo idea! But we figure if you’re an auditor (or any other service delivery professional) at Goldman Sachs or Citigroup (PwC and KPMG respectively) you probably have a better chance than most.
Oh and it helps if you’re at high risk for developing complications. So if you’re aged 24 to 64, aren’t around kids, and don’t have serious health issues, you’re just going to have take your chances without the H1N1 vaccine.

Citigroup has been supplied with 1,200 units and Goldman with 200, says Jessica Scaperotti, press secretary for the Department of Health & Mental Hygiene. The agency has so far approved orders by 29 employers–including 16 that have yet to receive any vaccine–after they were cleared by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC). Big employers that have received or are scheduled to receive vaccine so far include Time Warner (TWX), JPMorgan Chase (JPM), Memorial Sloan-Kettering, New York Presbyterian Healthcare System, and New York University.

Since we have the tendency to jump to conclusions, will assume there’s no plans to distribute any vaccines to any of the large accounting firms locations. Reaffirming our belief that the Rodney Dangerfield image remains intact for the accounting firms. Your best bet is to be on the client site of any company that has any systematic importance.
New York Businesses Get H1N1 Vaccine [Business Week via JDA]
Earlier: Deloitte Study Says That Half of You Aren’t Scared of Swine Flu. Tell That to a Backstreet Boy
Also Earlier: Our Token Swine Flu Post

Salary Satisfaction Poll Results

An official tally was necessary since it’s pretty obvious that Americans are way more hung up on money than our British counterparts. Results after the jump.


So satisfied I need a cigarette – 8.7%
Even if it’s bad, it’s still pretty good – 36.4%
I can’t get no satisfaction – 54.9%
Frankly, we expected a larger margin of victory for “no satisfaction” what with the ubiquitous Siberia treatment and some of the staff making more than you. We admire your resolve.
As for the 9% of you that are getting hot thinking about your paycheck, we’re assuming you’re either in a constant state of bliss or delusional. Kindly elaborate.
Thanks to all that voted!

Tom Petters Was Pretty Sure He Was Going to End Up in a Dumpster Somewhere

Thumbnail image for PettersSmile.jpgTom Petters doesn’t buy the whole Minnesota nice routine. Can’t say we blame the guy. If we were robbing people blind we’d be suspicious of every Marge Gunderson in the Twin Cities too.
According to a tape recording from yesterday’s proceedings, the stress of ripping people off for so long was causing him to freak out a little.

“Nobody’s paying us,” Petters said on the 30-minute recording made Sept. 22, 2008, by federal authorities with the help of Coleman. “I can’t stand lying to people every day.”
“We’re at a breaking point,” Petters said on the tape. “I can’t stand where we are. … None of us are OK. … We’ve got problems. I’m trying as hard as I can to find a way out of this. I don’t think we can all think clearly anymore.”
He said he was afraid that Robert W. Sabes, 69, formerly of Wayzata, and his son Jon R. Sabes, 43, of Wayzata, who authorities say had invested $17 million to $19 million, might kill him.
“Jon Sabes needs to calm down a bit,” Petters said, adding that he believed Sabes was connected to organized crime. “They are bad, bad people. I think he’d kill me.”

Now maybe this goes back to whole notion that TP had the attention span of a dog with above average intelligence (still a disservice to the breed in our book) but if you steal $19 mil from anyone, they’re going to want to kill you. Call it a hunch.
For the Sabes’ part, they may have had some shady connections but Tom Petters doesn’t strike us as the type of guy that attracted devout religious types. When reached for comment, Robert Sabes was quoted as saying, ‘I think he’s been watching “The Sopranos” too much.’
Yep. Pretty sure he was going to kill that guy.
Petters feared mob hit [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]