Author: Adrienne Gonzalez

Adrienne is a 15-year veteran of the accounting industry, if by "veteran" you mean "vulture prowling the periphery of the profession waiting for something exciting to happen." She has been spewing vitriol on Going Concern since the site was founded in 2009. A former CPA review employee, she has sat through more FAR classes than any CPA exam candidate ever could -- even one who has failed FAR seven times -- and can still recall most of the mnemonics all these years later.

Have You Considered Working For the FDIC?

We talk a lot about the Big 4 and even crappy IRS jobs but we here on Going Concern tend to avoid a very lucrative corner of accounting work: government.

Specifically, I’m talking about the FDIC. Peep this job post (and if you can decode its requirements, you’re probably hired) and tell me if it sounds like something you’d like to shoot for:

Financial Institution Specialists participate in the assessment of financial institutions to determine:

* safe and sound practices, violations of law and regulation
* the adequacy of internal controls and procedures
* the general character of management
* compliance with consumer protection, fair lending and civil rights laws and regulations, and the Community Reinvestment Act

To carry out these responsibilities, Financial Institution Specialists:

* review, monitor and provide analysis of information pertaining to resolutions, settlements, pro-forma preparation, information package preparation, and deposit insurance claims.
* write comments and analyses for inclusion in reports and meet with insured depository institution officials to discuss the findings of an examination and, if necessary, any corrective programs.

Think about it… you get to roll into a bank on a Friday with the rest of the FDIC task force, take over a bank and spend the rest of the night counting your loot. Sounds awesome!

If you are in Atlanta, Boston, New York, Chicago, Dallas/Memphis, Kansas City, San Francisco or Washington, DC, now’s your chance to get in on this hot bank failure action.

To qualify, you must be a federal level grade 7. Here’s all you have to do for that:

A college graduate with a Bachelor’s degree and without previous experience can expect to start in the GS 5 grade, unless they meet the criteria for Superior Academic Achievement or finished a year of graduate school, but did not receive a degree, in which case they will start at the GS-7 level. A college graduate with a Master’s typically starts in the GS-9 grade. More information about the amount of qualifying education for each pay grade and what constitutes Superior Academic Achievement can be found at: http://www.opm.gov/qualifications/SEC-II/s2-e5.asp.

Now the important part… the money. I know that’s all you pricks care about, and/or the only reason you don’t mow down a bunch of people on the freeway with an AK-47 on your way to your cube:

The top four steps of a pay grade are higher paying than the bottom steps of the next highest grade. For example, step 10 in GS-7 pays $44,176/year, step 1 in GS-8 pays $37,631/year.

You can follow the link for specific cost of living numbers based on the area.

Now, as far as I am aware, Big 4 new hires in the San Francisco area get offered $50 – $55,000… generally speaking. In comparison, this gig doesn’t look as good on the surface. But think about it… you’ll have work for life. And benefits that you might want when you’re 50 (I know, that’s a long way off).

If the government makes it to you turning 50, that is. Think about it.

Let’s Try to Talk This Soon-to-Be CPA Exam Candidate Off the Ledge

I’m no longer surprised by the fact that otherwise (allegedly) rational human beings think it is appropriate to ask a bunch of assholes on the Internet what they should do with their lives. No offense to any of you but I’d hardly bet my life’s decisions on the input I get from a bunch of Internet trolls hiding in cubes around the country making dick jokes amongst themselves.

That said, I’m hoping you guys have some good input for this guy. And by good, I think you know what I actually mean.

Dear GC,

I’m a B4 intern graduating in May 2012. Unfortunately, I won’t have 150 credits by that time, but I’ll hopefully have a full time offer from the firm. While this doesn’t seem like an uncommon problem, I feel like I’m between a rock and aof hefty Master’s programs’ tuition rates and the intensity of CPA studying. Therefore, I have the following dilemma…

I could take the CPA right after graduation (to become NY certified) and take a one-semester Master’s program in the Fall. I’d have the whole summer to study and pass the CPA, but I’d be paying $15K for the Master’s and delaying my start time (and future promotions/bonuses) to January 2013. I want to start making money sooner rather than later to pay off my mounting college debts.

The other option is finishing off my last 12-15 credits at a local community college (far cheaper obviously) immediately following graduation. I could then study for the exam either during or after the extra courses. I would be able to start (I think) around October and avoid the massive MAcc tuition. However, I don’t think I’d have enough time to study and pass before beginning full time work, and I’ve heard the longer into your B4 career, the harder it is to find time to study and pass the first time.

I have a tough decision to make and enough time to become more well-informed. People have been telling me it’s all about preference, but I don’t think that’s a good enough answer. There are strong pros and cons in both, but I’m worried my mind will continue to stagnate as it gets closer to decision time. Do you have prior-experience-related advice that will lead me in the right direction? Thanks in advance.

Sincerely,
TooYoungForThis

Where do we start with this? First of all, you’ve a) already fallen into the debt trap and b) totally fallen for the myth that you’ve got to get a MAcc to get anywhere in this industry. You’re tripping. Nowhere in the NY exam requirements does it state that you have to take on more debt and another degree to be a CPA in the state:

A bachelor’s or higher degree from a program that is registered by the Department as meeting New York’s 150 semester hour education requirements; or a Masters degree in accounting from an AACSB accredited accounting program; or a bachelors or higher degree from a regionally accredited college or university and completion of 150 semester hours in the following content areas, including the following:

* 33 semester hours in accounting with at least one course in each of the following areas:
• financial accounting and reporting
• cost or managerial accounting
• taxation
• auditing and attestation services
* 36 semester hours in general business electives and
* The curriculum must also include, either as stand alone courses or integrated into other courses, the study of business or accounting communications, ethics and professional responsibility, and accounting research.

(Acceptable course work is detailed further in the 150 semester hour course content table.)

As for the rest of it, anyone who has taken any of the routes you mentioned will probably have some advice for you related to their experience but please keep in mind that it is just that: their experience. Your own will be based on a lot of factors, such as the actual level of debt you are willing to sustain, your motivation to get a CPA/MAcc/awesome Big 4 job, your skills and how committed you are to any of the decisions you make. So that’s probably why you’re getting really vague answers on this from others.

What’s this about your mind stagnating? Knock it off, take responsibility for whichever path you desire to take (not which path the Internet or your parents told you to take) and take that path like a motherfucker. It sounds to me like you’re not all that into any of these options, and that’s probably the biggest cause of your inability to make a decision right there.

Do you want a MAcc? Do you want to get through the exam in less than a year? Do you want to take Advanced Accounting from some musty community college teacher? No one can answer those questions for you. You’re a grown up now and obviously NOT too young for this if you managed to get this far, so grow up and decide already.

You are doing the right thing by reaching out but what I mean to say with all this yelling at you is that, ultimately, the decision is yours. I would always advise you to avoid as much debt as possible at this stage in your life; you are already assuming you are going to have to slave away to pay it off, why would you want more unless you either absolutely have to or truly desire a MAcc? It doesn’t sound to me like you do. So don’t.

America’s Hottest CPA Goes on Reality TV Looking For Love

Do you guys remember Tripp Davis? Last year, this number-crunching Southern gentleman from Mississippi made Cosmo’s Hottest Single Bachelors List, calling first date sex skanky and girls sans chonies sexy. Our kinda man.

Anyway… Judgmental hater and bad Photoshopper that I am, I made the mistake of publicly rre angle at which his stunningly perfect abs appeared to be cut in the photo Cosmo used. It took a few hours of staring to figure it out but I finally saw that it was just a weird camera trick (part pose, part flowy white shirt they stuck him in) and word is Tripp has been a pretty loyal reader of Going Concern since. Yay kismet (and forgiveness)!

So when he recently got in touch to tell us about his latest adventure, we absolutely had to share it with you all.

What happens when you put 10 “city” guys and 10 “country” guys in a house to battle for the affection of one gorgeous bachelorette? Well, you get Sweet Home Alabama, which debuted last week on CMT. What does this have to do with Tripp’s perfect swimmer’s abs? Well because he’s on the show, obviously.

Raised on fried chicken, turnip greens and grits, it’s no wonder show producers reached out to Tripp to get him on the show after spotting him on Cosmo’s list. He’s actually looking for the love of his life (how cute) and says he won’t date a girl unless he can see himself marrying her down the road. Some of his opponents include a tobacco farmer from Tennessee, a Hollywood financial adviser, a Birmingham bartender named Tribble (first, not last, bitch) and – wait for it – one of Snooki’s ex-boyfriends who calls himself a singer/musician. This ought to be good.

Now I’m not easily swayed by southern manners and ripped abs but I have to say I was charmed by Tripp in our brief phone call for this post. So he may just have a shot to win the heart of Devin Grissom – a student at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa – if he can warm this salty Fedbasher’s cold black heart.

Check out our boy Tripp (he’s the one bawling at 1:55) on the show, which you can catch on CMT Thursdays at 9pm (8 Central).

Sweet Home Alabama: Thursday’s 9/8c on CMT! from Sweet Home Alabama (CMT) on Vimeo.

We hear the show includes lots of drama (surprise), douchebaggery and even a fight over the grill. Everyone knows you don’t mess with a man’s meat. Just sayin.

Tripp sums up the plot in words somewhat like this:

City guys are more interested in what they can buy the girl and showing their wealth, it’s all about the bling. They are defined by who they have dated. Country guys are more about who they are and their character, that shows through. Money shows through for city guys.

Good luck, Tripp, we’ll be rooting for you. Seriously. We’re pretty sure “reality star” wasn’t one of the manufactured scenarios many of you fell for when you were seduced into public accounting (much like work-life balance and prestige), which is why our hot little CPA friend here works for an unnamed private firm. Think about that next time you’re having a reality crisis, this guy is off chasing a chick. On teevee.

“It was such an amazing experience!” [Devin] says to a fan. “I’m a lucky girl … All of the guys on the show were so great,” said chick says on Facebook.

Someone has to blaze a trail with his sizzling fried chicken abs, it might as well be this guy. The accountant stereotype has been rewritten in recent years, not everyone is a WoW-playing, Dorito-eating shlub who doesn’t know what business casual actually means. Some are, yes. Some are also ripped. And, uh, on a reality show.

Cut, Cap and Balance Is Just More of the Same Glut, Crap and B&#$^*!

The plan approved by the House last night traded $2.4 trillion for both the Senate and House approving a balanced budget amendment, though I’m not quite sure how borrowing more money is going to help us get our financial house in order.

If I were a legislator, I’d suggest avoiding the “Let’s pay the Visa off with the Mastercard” tactic if at all possible but that’s just me.

David Brooks broke down the Republican theatrics into four categories: “Beltway Bandits,” the “Big Government Blowhards,” the “Show Horses,” and the “Permanent Campaigners.” FYI for Caleb’s knowledge, Grover Norquist was the one named as a Beltway Bandit, though in fairness to this town, anyone could be considered that.

“The Democratic offers were slippery, and President Obama didn’t put them in writing. But John Boehner, the House speaker, thought they were serious. The liberal activists thought they were alarmingly serious. I can tell you from my reporting that White House officials took them seriously,” Brooks wrote in the NYT.

“House Republicans are the only ones to put forward and pass a real plan that will create a better environment for private-sector job growth by stopping Washington from spending money it doesn’t have and preventing tax hikes on families and small businesses,” said John Boehner in a statement.

Really? So how is it that this includes an increase in the debt ceiling?

Meanwhile, this is what Ron Paul had to say in a statement:

I have never voted to raise the federal debt limit, and I have no doubt that we face financial collapse and ruin if we continue to grow our debt. We need to make major spending cuts now, in this budget, and we can no longer afford to allow more deficit spending based on promises of future cuts.

“The CCB act would add $2.4 trillion of new debt to our gargantuan $14.4 trillion debt. CCB would also only cut $111 billion from this year’s budget, allowing a deficit of nearly $1.5 trillion. This is far from the Pledge’s call for ‘substantial’ cuts. And, CCB locks us into current levels of overseas welfare, which will continue to endanger America’s security by forcing us to subsidize other wealthy nations.

See, that’s pretty much where I’m at with this. The debt trap is impossible to get out of, anyone who has gotten trapped in a pay day loan can tell you all about that.

That’s exactly where we are. That’s where we’ve been. And where we’ll continue to be unless we get the debt monkey off our back. I’m not as concerned about subsidizing China’s explosive growth as I am about compromising our national security by letting those assholes at the Fed run the show. We owe them more than we owe China.

So Norquist may be a tax troll and I’m fine with that but this Dog and Pony Debt Show has got to stop, it’s old and it’s not doing us any good.

Anyone got a better plan?

CPA Exam Marketing, You’re Kind of Doing It Wrong

I don’t say this to be mean, I say this to be helpful I swear. I noticed something sketchy about this Becker marketing campaign.

Apparently they have a Posterous (news to me) and share CPA exam tips. That part sounds awesome but somehow it fails in the execution. Here’s what I mean:

Did you know that the sections of the CPA Exam have different time allotments?

You can use as much of the time allotted to complete each section as you like. The testing computer screen displays a countdown of the time you have left. As you practice, it’s important to learn how to budget your time wisely, so you don’t find yourself scrambling at the end to finish.

Sorry but that’s horribly vague. What is that supposed to tell someone about time allotments on the CPA exam? What on Earth is ‘You can use as much of the time allotted to complete each section as you like?’ supposed to mean? Sure you technically can use as much of the time allotted (I’m assuming they mean per section?) but I don’t think that’s a very helpful suggestion to give someone actually trying to pass the CPA exam.

In a different post, they also say “Getting your CPA is a little like getting to Carnegie Hall — it’s all about practice!”

Each post ends with an obvious link to one of their products that is tangentially related to whatever the vague “tip” says.

In fewer words, WTF purpose is this supposed to serve?

Like I said, meant to be useful, I swear.

This EU Guy Really Doesn’t Like the IASB’s New Magical Fair Value Plan

In case you thought the fair value debate was limited to the U.S. circa 2008, think again. A rule you probably haven’t heard of (but will likely see a version of once government debt becomes as much of a pain in the ass here as it has been in Europe) called IFRS 9 (which replaces IAS 39) would allow banks to price some government debt on their books at cost, instead of current awful prices.

Apparently the European Union doesn’t like this idea. EU Internal Market Commissioner Michel Barnier told a webcast meeting in New York this week “I do not believe this will be the first solution to the problems we face in Europe at the moment,” referring to IFRS 9‘s creative interpretation of “fair value.” Ironically, IFRS 9 accomplishes this feat by eliminating available for sale and held-to-maturity classifications for bonds, leaving only amortized cost and fair value.

IASB Chairman Hans Hoogervorst insists this plan is really only the suck less option, not some sort of magical accounting trick that will suddenly make Greece solvent and Irish banks healthy. “Under IFRS 9 impairments will still be painful but I am convinced it would be more timely done because the cliff effect is much less severe,” he said at a recent joint meeting of the IASB’s trustees and monitoring board of public officials, including Michel Barnier.

EU’s Barnier says won’t budge on accounting rule [Reuters]

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me You Can Earn Gold and Silver Medals on the CPA Exam?!

OK, this is new to me. I’ll admit I don’t know everything about the CPA exam but I try to keep up on as much as I can without actually subjecting myself to that level of masochism. With the deepest respect to those of you who do subject yourselves to that as always, I assure you.

Anyway, what’s this about getting medals for CPA exam scores?! Why didn’t anyone tell me this?

From the Oklahoma State Spears School of Business:

When she received a gold medal for her scores on the Certified Public Accountant exam, Lauren Gorman saw the result that made all of her hard work pay off. Gorman, who is working on her doctorate in accounting, said the award was important in a number of ways. “Receiving the gold medal was important to me because it recognized all of the hard work and months of studying I put into the exam,” Gorman said. “My brother, Ryan Gorman, earned the silver medal on the exam, so I also enjoyed beating him and receiving the gold.” Gorman’s brother took the exam a few years ago. Out of the thousands of students who take the CPA exam, only those who complete all four parts of the exam within one or two testing windows and earn a high score are awarded medals, according to a Spears School of Business press release. Three Oklahoma State University accounting students received the honors. Lauren Gorman and Anne-Marie Lelkes earned gold medals, and Dawn Kruckeberg earned silver.

Correct me if I’m wrong but I think they are referring to the Elijah Watt Sells medals, which isn’t at all clear in the article. A gold medal means A) you studied way too hard and B) you beat out every other candidate testing that year. It also means that you took the exam back when it was paper and pencil, as I’m pretty sure they eliminated the medals post-2004, am I totally wrong?

Prior to the computerized exam, the AICPA would award gold, silver and bronze medals to the top three performers on the CPA exam. When the exam went computerized, thereby allowing more flexibility in testing, they changed it to give the award to 10 of the highest scores in the country each year. To qualify, candidates must score in the very very high 90s on the first attempt (no retakes). Winners receive a plaque and the recognition that comes with being a bad ass high performer (even though no one asks what you got on the exam anyway).

So really… what medals are we talking about? Oh, duh, the Oklahoma State Society of CPAs issues them. It would help if the article mentioned that, I got all excited for a minute there.

Anyway, congratulations and all that.

Freaky Fraud: The Woman Who Stole $110,000 in Bull Semen From Her Employer

First, if you hate your inventory counts, can you only imagine what it’s like to have to keep tabs on tank after tank of frozen bull semen? Count your blessings, people.

A woman in Ohio pleaded not guilty last week to stealing a tank of bull semen valued at $110,000 from her employer. Authorities say 45 year-old Karen Saum planned to use the semen to extort money out of her employer – the rightful owner of the sperm – to start her own business. I can only imagine what kind of business she planned on starting with the seed money.

Detectives said a tip led them to Saum’s garage, where they found the stolen semen. Just a tip.

Det. James Hollopeter told WHIO TV that Saum used her knowledge of the company’s internal workings to lift only the high quality semen. “She knew where this semen would have been located,” he said. “It was actually locked in an interior closet because it was more valuable that some of the other that they had out.”

Right. Because everyone knows you don’t leave the good shit lying around where any old creepy criminal can get their paws on it.

Turns Out You Don’t Have to Go to a “Real” College to Do Well on the CPA Exam

The great thing about accounting is that unlike law, you don’t have to go to a top school to have a successful career. While it helps to be in front of Big 4 recruiters at the major accounting schools if that’s the route you want to take, here’s a little proof that you can easily get through the CPA exam even if your educational background is comprised solely of community college. At least in Texas.

The Texas State Board of Accountancy recently released its list of top CPA exam pass rates among Texas colleges and universities and it turns out a community college is among the University of Texas and Texas A&M.

The University of Texas at Austin had a 75 percent pass rate (it is unclear if that is a first-time pass rate or what) while the Austin Community College came in 10th with 53 percent. Other schools on the list were Texas A&M, Baylor University and Texas Tech.

ACC was the only community college to make the list. Their CPA program currently has about 400 students.

ACC Dean of Business Studies David Quinn told KUT News that ACC has made the list every year except one since the school became accredited in 2002.

“I’m very proud of our faculty and our students in our professional accounting program,” he said. “They’ve proven time and time again that they can do as good of a job as the best universities in the State of Texas.”

If you’re interested, you can dig through the results from the TX Board here.

Confession: We Have a Mad Crush on Susan S. Coffey, CPA

Consider this our official admission that we’ve got the hots for Susan Coffey of the AICPA (not to be confused with this Susan Coffey, who also happens to be a hottie).

Suddenly we’re really into anything she has to say, made even more addic��������������������point on international standards and affinity for acronyms that no one can keep up with. We like that in a woman. “Please note that the AICPA supports international standards and believes in adoption as an ultimate goal, but requiring adoption at this time is unrealistic.” Talk about a siren’s call.

Suz isn’t really in the news too much (most of the face time goes to Barry Melancon) but we managed to find a recent comment letter to the Senior Technical Manager of the Compliance Program at the International Federation of Accountants that she wrote:

May 31, 2011
Senior Technical Manager
Compliance Program
International Federation of Accountants
545 Fifth Avenue, 14th Floor
New York, New York 10017

Dear Senior Technical Manager,

The American Institute of CPAs (AICPA) is pleased to comment on the IFAC exposure, Proposed IFAC Member Body Compliance Program Strategy 2011-2014.

We applaud the Compliance Advisory Panel’s (CAP) effort to provide a work plan and timeline to the Terms of Reference (TOR) approved by the IFAC Board in September 2008 for future CAP activities. These activities continue to enhance the Member Body Compliance Program and meet the expectations of the Public Interest Oversight Board (PIOB) in its oversight of CAP, as an important public interest activity committee (PIAC) within IFAC.

[Six sentences filled with so many acronyms that it reads like 1st Grader’s handwriting class.]

The new concept of “adoption” suggests that member bodies and/or their country’s governments should turn over their role in standard-setting for the profession to international groups without question. We submit that this approach is not acceptable in current international and national political environments. Therefore, CAP should not require IFAC member bodies to achieve a level that is not practical nor realistic, setting up the Member Body Compliance Program for failure. [Do we have a dominatrix on our hands?]

We feel strongly that the current Best Endeavors goal with its convergence objective is currently working and should continue without any further consideration of elevating this benchmark to total adoption. Please note that the AICPA supports international standards and believes in adoption as an ultimate goal, but requiring adoption at this time is unrealistic [Adrienne is fanning herself]. This would create a situation where most member bodies would be in violation of the IFAC Compliance Program and would continue in violation for the foreseeable future.

Thank you for the opportunity to comment on this important exposure, and we appreciate your consideration of our concern.

Sincerely,
Susan S. Coffey, CPA
Senior Vice President
Member Quality and International Affairs

So not exactly Hafiz but we’re still smitten. How did this CPA-soaked Cupid’s arrow strike us, you ask? Adrienne saw her speak at AICPA Spring Council and was completely in awe from even before she said, “Good afternoon, I’m Susan Coffey.” As she was debriefing me about Tom Hood’s boyish charms and whatnot, I happened to ask if there were any females that had any qualities prized by the superficial man. Of course that’s when she launched into Ms. Coffey’s speech at the Council. She couldn’t really remember what was being said but then she pointed me to her picture and then our conversation turned to a possible future hottie contest on GC (Susan would be a #1 seed, natch) that has yet to develop.

ANYWAY, we’ve discussed this crush at length and we decided it was time that we jointly confess our affections to the GC faithful. What do we exactly do we want to accomplish with this admission? Drinks and appetizers would probably be a good start. Getting in touch, Susan, is easy. Email us here.

Now that we’ve sufficiently put ourselves out there, dear readers, feel free to send us any nominations you have for accountants that you’d like to see in a future hottie contest. We’ll do the appropriate due diligence once we feel that enough worthy candidates have been submitted but just know that Ms. Coffey will be in field.

UPDATE: Are Deeply Discounted CPA Review Programs Legit?

I Pass the CPA Exam was asked if a $799 “Becker” program being sold online could possibly be legit. After asking the owner of the site peddling the stuff, Stephanie asks Becker directly if they allow affiliates to sell their product wholesale to other retailers so they, in turn, can cut the price. Something about this just doesn’t seem right, why would Becker want to get ripped off on its own product, which it routinely sells for $3,000 (give or take)?

When in doubt, maybe you should ask the review course:

I continue my due diligence and ask Becker directly whether the serial number from CPApassmaster would indeed verifiable at their site. This is their answer:

“The only legal site for Becker material is www.becker.com.”

Well, I would appreciate if Becker can just be a little bit more helpful in terms of explaining this further, but knowing how Becker is (big and institutionalized with little “real” customer service), this is probably the best we can get.

Then, I heard from industry sources that in fact Becker is trying to stop this offering via an injunction, and supposedly Becker can render all their materials with serial number from this reseller unverifiable if / when they are allowed to do that.

Interesting. I agree with Stephanie’s assessment that whoever she spoke to at Becker is probably just some hack in a headset who barely knows what the CPA exam is, let alone is high up enough to actually comment on their policies.

It would be interesting to hear this directly from, say, a Becker high up. Hint, hint. Perhaps a qualified Becker manager would like to get in touch and clear the air.

UPDATE: Becker spokesperson Molly Tarantino wrote me last night to clarify Becker’s policy on unauthorized dealers. Please consider her comments before going for a cheap review course that is NOT offered directly from the company:

Becker Professional Education does not support materials purchased through unauthorized dealers. Only materials received directly from us are guaranteed to be authentic. Unauthorized dealers, such as CPAPassmaster, are either in violation of their license with Becker or selling counterfeit materials. Counterfeiting is illegal and purchasing counterfeit products supports this illegal activity. This type of activity is especially troubling since it is occurring within a profession whose foundation has always been and always will be based on ethics and integrity.

Should/Can Big 4 Employees Unionize?

Though the following inquiry from what we assume to be a Going Concern reader was addressed to my dearest, most lovely editor, I’m hijacking it because I’ve been wanting to write about this for a long time. While the idea of CPAs unionizing seems ridiculous to some, I’m sure more than a few of you have dreamily drooled at the prospect of collective bargaining power while two months in to the most horrendous busy season ever. Is it that silly of an idea?

Hi Caleb,

I am a Big4 Tax Senior and had a question regarding the possibility/benefit of having a union. To my knowledge, one currently does not exist, but why? Entertain me for a second.

If every staff through manager (there ing managers in, so maybe just staff and seniors) were to band together and create a union across all service lines and all of the four firms, what would stop us from getting fair compensation and slightly better hours? If the threat of a strike of 70% of each of the firm’s workforce (who probably actually do 90% of the work on any given engagement) could happen at any time, would the partners really treat their subordinates the way they currently do? Maybe there’s something written somewhere that CPAs can’t join a union?

Imagine if this raise/bonus season were to go poorly, and the union decided that on March 1, 2012…every staff, senior and manager FROM ALL FIRMS would stage a walk out and go on strike until our compensation demands were met. What could the partners do? Could they realistically try to do all the work themselves? Could they really try and replace 60,000 employees (I am guessing on that figure)? Could they try and get all the work done out of India? I HIGHLY DOUBT ANY OF THESE WOULD BE REALISTIC OPTIONS. I can’t imagine the possibility of replacing a dozen auditors overnight with Accountemps personnel in the middle of an audit for a fortune 100 client.

I understand that the possibility of being able to coordinate such a union across all the firms would be next to impossible, but can someone tell me why/how it wouldn’t work assuming it was legal for us to do? Could you post up a poll of those who would be interested?

Wait a second, are you trying to tell us that you don’t feel you are fairly compensated? Are you prepared for the burden of union fees and the inconvenience of having to picket your downtown Big 4 office chanting “Hell no we won’t go!” in business casual should it come down to that?

Why stop at the Big 4? Second-tier capital market servants are just as mistreated as you are (or at least feel that way, and who are we to tell them they don’t get enough engagements to feel burned out?). Think of the collective bargaining power then.

I think part of the reason why anyone you suggest this to might think you’re one tax season away from the funny farm is that CPAs already have a large, powerful trade association which allegedly exists to serve its interests. Granted, the AICPA does more lobbying in Washington than it does to accounting firm partners about easing up on you poor shlubs who have to do all the work, but it’s still a trade association.

In an article about the recent showdown in Wisconsin between teacher unions and Governor Scott Walker, Ann Coulter wrote “the need for a union comes down to this question: Do you have a boss who wants you to work harder for less money? In the private sector, the answer is yes. In the public sector, the answer is a big, fat NO.” Well shit, there’s your answer. We already know how most of you in public accounting feel, no need to elaborate.

Former Congressional candidate and CPA Krystal Ball is all for unions, especially when it comes to balancing the gender inequality that still exists in this country. If criminals in Canada can unionize, why not CPAs? Well for starters, though it may not feel like it, most of you are paid pretty fairly compared to, say, McDonald’s cashiers, Starbucks baristas and Walmart greeters. It may not feel fair based on the service you provide (understandably) but in the big picture, making $50,000 a year fresh out of school in middle America ain’t too bad of a gig. You get vacations, safe work conditions, bonuses, insurance and even free CPA review materials if you’re lucky. I bet OSHA has never seen the inside of a Big 4 office to investigate a fatal Excel accident or random intern decapitation at the coffee machine.

Let’s keep in mind that, if necessary, the Big 4 probably could scrape up a motley crew of Indian and Sri Lankan accountants and reluctant partners to do the work while you’re out front calling Raj a scab. Is what you do all that difficult? Look at the moronic intern in your office… a little training and that guy is going to be doing your job in a few years.

Lastly, there’s the legal issue. With all the money the Big 4 throw at lobbying and keeping some of the country’s best lawyers on payroll, do you really think you stand a chance? Someone has to give you the OK to unionize and I just don’t see the Big 4 lawyer machine slipping up and letting that one through. You really are one busy season away from the funny farm if you believe otherwise.

But I’m 100% behind you guys if you try to go for it anyway. Si se puede!