Author: Adrienne Gonzalez

Adrienne is a 15-year veteran of the accounting industry, if by "veteran" you mean "vulture prowling the periphery of the profession waiting for something exciting to happen." She has been spewing vitriol on Going Concern since the site was founded in 2009. A former CPA review employee, she has sat through more FAR classes than any CPA exam candidate ever could -- even one who has failed FAR seven times -- and can still recall most of the mnemonics all these years later.

Apparently This Debt Ceiling Thing Is Important

I’m intentionally avoiding the news – partially due to the fact that Lawrence O’Donnell looks like a melting wax statue in HD and also that it got old a long time ago.

The Guardian catches everyone up by declaring the battle between Obama and the Republicans over the national debt has reached a new level and claimed that both sides were kind of pushing each other out of the spotlight.

At least that’s how the media played it yesterday. Chris Matthews called it a “slingshot operation by Republicans” on Lawrence O’Donnell (don’t ask why I watch MSNBC), more specifically implying that it was staged by Boehner & Co. to look like a knock off of Obama’s Prime Time address. Matthews also got pissed at Obama for going on national TV to do this; as if an address to the American people had anything to do with the American people.

What I took away from Obama’s speech was that he wanted our current and future creditors to know that he would get a debt ceiling increase, just let me pretend I’m going to cut some spending so we can get more money. It had very little to do with Americans or our perception of what debt means to our day-to-day lives, except for the part where he declared we’d have higher interest rates, more trouble securing loans and huge unemployment numbers.

Obama also got really dirty and quoted Ronald Reagan.

Apparently, at the end of this America banded together and crashed a bunch of Congressional websites. Not quite sure what that was supposed to accomplish but I guess it’s cute to see us working together for a change to accomplish something.

Just what I thought I saw.

Ex-Ernst & Young Partner Trades Tech Companies for Cuddlesome Creatures

The Oakland Tribune shares this charming story of an accountant who discovered her talents would be more appreciated in helping animals:

Like many people who love animals, Sue James dreamed of becoming a veterinarian when she was a child.

“I looked into going to vet school but my parents, they wanted me to pursue a more traditional career,” said James, a Danville resident who grew up in a house in New York state where the family pets included dogs, rabbits — even a monkey.

After a long stint in the corporate world, James found an outlet for her lifelong love of animals at Tri-Valley Animal Rescue, an all-volunteer group founded in 1992 with a mission to prevent the unnecessary euthanasia of shelter animals.

Uncle Ernie gets a badass plug in the next bit:

She started volunteering in 2005 as she was winding down a long and successful career at Ernst & Young. There, she was a partner who oversaw audit work for some of Silicon Valley’s leading high-tech companies. Today, she serves on the boards of Yahoo, Applied Materials and Coherent.

Working at Ernst & Young, she learned the importance of teamwork to meet the needs of clients. That focus also carries over to her volunteer work. “It’s about the cats and dogs,” she said. “But also, for me, it’s how can we work effectively as a team.”

It makes sense that she’d end up at the shelter; from what I hear, actual auditing isn’t much different.

By the way, she’s 65. She holds a bachelor’s in math from Hunter College, New York (1967) and bachelor’s in accounting from San Jose State (1975). She taught math and science in junior high and high school in New York state from 1967-69, worked in San Jose office of Ernst & Young starting in 1975, was named partner in 1987, retired in 2006, then consulted for the company through 2009.

So You Want to Work for the PCAOB…

You could have a worse career path… like this lady.

Currently, the PCAOB is seeking the following professionals:

* Accountants and Auditors, especially those with extensive auditing experience in:

* International Financial Reporting Standards
* Industry expertise (banking, insurance, oil and gas pharmaceuticals)
* Fair value measurements
* IT auditing
* Forensic Accountants
* Enforcement Attorneys and Accountants

Their own employees say great things about their employer, like Greg, an Associate Director out of Atlanta who gushes “the most exciting part of working here is that we are still a fairly new organization. My experiences with the PCAOB have enabled me to utilize and expand on the skills I acquired both in industry and public accounting and still make it home in time for dinner.”

Or Todd, an Inspections Specialist out of Denver who says “When I was recruited and interviewed, they talked about work-life balance. Everybody talks about having work-life balance, and I think as auditors, we all took that talk with a grain of salt. But then to come here and see it’s actually true, well, that was a nice surprise. At the same time, I continue growing here and developing my career. It really is a nice balance.”

Well then, sounds like a sweet gig.

The PCAOB offers all kinds of benefits such as tuition assistance, 401(k) and retirement, a PPO health plan and a metric shit ton of paid time off.

You’ll probably have to actually apply with them to get any real salary info, so if big-time bureaucracy and work-life balance are what you’re after, get on that.

Have You Considered Working For the FDIC?

We talk a lot about the Big 4 and even crappy IRS jobs but we here on Going Concern tend to avoid a very lucrative corner of accounting work: government.

Specifically, I’m talking about the FDIC. Peep this job post (and if you can decode its requirements, you’re probably hired) and tell me if it sounds like something you’d like to shoot for:

Financial Institution Specialists participate in the assessment of financial institutions to determine:

* safe and sound practices, violations of law and regulation
* the adequacy of internal controls and procedures
* the general character of management
* compliance with consumer protection, fair lending and civil rights laws and regulations, and the Community Reinvestment Act

To carry out these responsibilities, Financial Institution Specialists:

* review, monitor and provide analysis of information pertaining to resolutions, settlements, pro-forma preparation, information package preparation, and deposit insurance claims.
* write comments and analyses for inclusion in reports and meet with insured depository institution officials to discuss the findings of an examination and, if necessary, any corrective programs.

Think about it… you get to roll into a bank on a Friday with the rest of the FDIC task force, take over a bank and spend the rest of the night counting your loot. Sounds awesome!

If you are in Atlanta, Boston, New York, Chicago, Dallas/Memphis, Kansas City, San Francisco or Washington, DC, now’s your chance to get in on this hot bank failure action.

To qualify, you must be a federal level grade 7. Here’s all you have to do for that:

A college graduate with a Bachelor’s degree and without previous experience can expect to start in the GS 5 grade, unless they meet the criteria for Superior Academic Achievement or finished a year of graduate school, but did not receive a degree, in which case they will start at the GS-7 level. A college graduate with a Master’s typically starts in the GS-9 grade. More information about the amount of qualifying education for each pay grade and what constitutes Superior Academic Achievement can be found at: http://www.opm.gov/qualifications/SEC-II/s2-e5.asp.

Now the important part… the money. I know that’s all you pricks care about, and/or the only reason you don’t mow down a bunch of people on the freeway with an AK-47 on your way to your cube:

The top four steps of a pay grade are higher paying than the bottom steps of the next highest grade. For example, step 10 in GS-7 pays $44,176/year, step 1 in GS-8 pays $37,631/year.

You can follow the link for specific cost of living numbers based on the area.

Now, as far as I am aware, Big 4 new hires in the San Francisco area get offered $50 – $55,000… generally speaking. In comparison, this gig doesn’t look as good on the surface. But think about it… you’ll have work for life. And benefits that you might want when you’re 50 (I know, that’s a long way off).

If the government makes it to you turning 50, that is. Think about it.

Let’s Try to Talk This Soon-to-Be CPA Exam Candidate Off the Ledge

I’m no longer surprised by the fact that otherwise (allegedly) rational human beings think it is appropriate to ask a bunch of assholes on the Internet what they should do with their lives. No offense to any of you but I’d hardly bet my life’s decisions on the input I get from a bunch of Internet trolls hiding in cubes around the country making dick jokes amongst themselves.

That said, I’m hoping you guys have some good input for this guy. And by good, I think you know what I actually mean.

Dear GC,

I’m a B4 intern graduating in May 2012. Unfortunately, I won’t have 150 credits by that time, but I’ll hopefully have a full time offer from the firm. While this doesn’t seem like an uncommon problem, I feel like I’m between a rock and aof hefty Master’s programs’ tuition rates and the intensity of CPA studying. Therefore, I have the following dilemma…

I could take the CPA right after graduation (to become NY certified) and take a one-semester Master’s program in the Fall. I’d have the whole summer to study and pass the CPA, but I’d be paying $15K for the Master’s and delaying my start time (and future promotions/bonuses) to January 2013. I want to start making money sooner rather than later to pay off my mounting college debts.

The other option is finishing off my last 12-15 credits at a local community college (far cheaper obviously) immediately following graduation. I could then study for the exam either during or after the extra courses. I would be able to start (I think) around October and avoid the massive MAcc tuition. However, I don’t think I’d have enough time to study and pass before beginning full time work, and I’ve heard the longer into your B4 career, the harder it is to find time to study and pass the first time.

I have a tough decision to make and enough time to become more well-informed. People have been telling me it’s all about preference, but I don’t think that’s a good enough answer. There are strong pros and cons in both, but I’m worried my mind will continue to stagnate as it gets closer to decision time. Do you have prior-experience-related advice that will lead me in the right direction? Thanks in advance.

Sincerely,
TooYoungForThis

Where do we start with this? First of all, you’ve a) already fallen into the debt trap and b) totally fallen for the myth that you’ve got to get a MAcc to get anywhere in this industry. You’re tripping. Nowhere in the NY exam requirements does it state that you have to take on more debt and another degree to be a CPA in the state:

A bachelor’s or higher degree from a program that is registered by the Department as meeting New York’s 150 semester hour education requirements; or a Masters degree in accounting from an AACSB accredited accounting program; or a bachelors or higher degree from a regionally accredited college or university and completion of 150 semester hours in the following content areas, including the following:

* 33 semester hours in accounting with at least one course in each of the following areas:
• financial accounting and reporting
• cost or managerial accounting
• taxation
• auditing and attestation services
* 36 semester hours in general business electives and
* The curriculum must also include, either as stand alone courses or integrated into other courses, the study of business or accounting communications, ethics and professional responsibility, and accounting research.

(Acceptable course work is detailed further in the 150 semester hour course content table.)

As for the rest of it, anyone who has taken any of the routes you mentioned will probably have some advice for you related to their experience but please keep in mind that it is just that: their experience. Your own will be based on a lot of factors, such as the actual level of debt you are willing to sustain, your motivation to get a CPA/MAcc/awesome Big 4 job, your skills and how committed you are to any of the decisions you make. So that’s probably why you’re getting really vague answers on this from others.

What’s this about your mind stagnating? Knock it off, take responsibility for whichever path you desire to take (not which path the Internet or your parents told you to take) and take that path like a motherfucker. It sounds to me like you’re not all that into any of these options, and that’s probably the biggest cause of your inability to make a decision right there.

Do you want a MAcc? Do you want to get through the exam in less than a year? Do you want to take Advanced Accounting from some musty community college teacher? No one can answer those questions for you. You’re a grown up now and obviously NOT too young for this if you managed to get this far, so grow up and decide already.

You are doing the right thing by reaching out but what I mean to say with all this yelling at you is that, ultimately, the decision is yours. I would always advise you to avoid as much debt as possible at this stage in your life; you are already assuming you are going to have to slave away to pay it off, why would you want more unless you either absolutely have to or truly desire a MAcc? It doesn’t sound to me like you do. So don’t.

America’s Hottest CPA Goes on Reality TV Looking For Love

Do you guys remember Tripp Davis? Last year, this number-crunching Southern gentleman from Mississippi made Cosmo’s Hottest Single Bachelors List, calling first date sex skanky and girls sans chonies sexy. Our kinda man.

Anyway… Judgmental hater and bad Photoshopper that I am, I made the mistake of publicly rre angle at which his stunningly perfect abs appeared to be cut in the photo Cosmo used. It took a few hours of staring to figure it out but I finally saw that it was just a weird camera trick (part pose, part flowy white shirt they stuck him in) and word is Tripp has been a pretty loyal reader of Going Concern since. Yay kismet (and forgiveness)!

So when he recently got in touch to tell us about his latest adventure, we absolutely had to share it with you all.

What happens when you put 10 “city” guys and 10 “country” guys in a house to battle for the affection of one gorgeous bachelorette? Well, you get Sweet Home Alabama, which debuted last week on CMT. What does this have to do with Tripp’s perfect swimmer’s abs? Well because he’s on the show, obviously.

Raised on fried chicken, turnip greens and grits, it’s no wonder show producers reached out to Tripp to get him on the show after spotting him on Cosmo’s list. He’s actually looking for the love of his life (how cute) and says he won’t date a girl unless he can see himself marrying her down the road. Some of his opponents include a tobacco farmer from Tennessee, a Hollywood financial adviser, a Birmingham bartender named Tribble (first, not last, bitch) and – wait for it – one of Snooki’s ex-boyfriends who calls himself a singer/musician. This ought to be good.

Now I’m not easily swayed by southern manners and ripped abs but I have to say I was charmed by Tripp in our brief phone call for this post. So he may just have a shot to win the heart of Devin Grissom – a student at the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa – if he can warm this salty Fedbasher’s cold black heart.

Check out our boy Tripp (he’s the one bawling at 1:55) on the show, which you can catch on CMT Thursdays at 9pm (8 Central).

Sweet Home Alabama: Thursday’s 9/8c on CMT! from Sweet Home Alabama (CMT) on Vimeo.

We hear the show includes lots of drama (surprise), douchebaggery and even a fight over the grill. Everyone knows you don’t mess with a man’s meat. Just sayin.

Tripp sums up the plot in words somewhat like this:

City guys are more interested in what they can buy the girl and showing their wealth, it’s all about the bling. They are defined by who they have dated. Country guys are more about who they are and their character, that shows through. Money shows through for city guys.

Good luck, Tripp, we’ll be rooting for you. Seriously. We’re pretty sure “reality star” wasn’t one of the manufactured scenarios many of you fell for when you were seduced into public accounting (much like work-life balance and prestige), which is why our hot little CPA friend here works for an unnamed private firm. Think about that next time you’re having a reality crisis, this guy is off chasing a chick. On teevee.

“It was such an amazing experience!” [Devin] says to a fan. “I’m a lucky girl … All of the guys on the show were so great,” said chick says on Facebook.

Someone has to blaze a trail with his sizzling fried chicken abs, it might as well be this guy. The accountant stereotype has been rewritten in recent years, not everyone is a WoW-playing, Dorito-eating shlub who doesn’t know what business casual actually means. Some are, yes. Some are also ripped. And, uh, on a reality show.

Cut, Cap and Balance Is Just More of the Same Glut, Crap and B&#$^*!

The plan approved by the House last night traded $2.4 trillion for both the Senate and House approving a balanced budget amendment, though I’m not quite sure how borrowing more money is going to help us get our financial house in order.

If I were a legislator, I’d suggest avoiding the “Let’s pay the Visa off with the Mastercard” tactic if at all possible but that’s just me.

David Brooks broke down the Republican theatrics into four categories: “Beltway Bandits,” the “Big Government Blowhards,” the “Show Horses,” and the “Permanent Campaigners.” FYI for Caleb’s knowledge, Grover Norquist was the one named as a Beltway Bandit, though in fairness to this town, anyone could be considered that.

“The Democratic offers were slippery, and President Obama didn’t put them in writing. But John Boehner, the House speaker, thought they were serious. The liberal activists thought they were alarmingly serious. I can tell you from my reporting that White House officials took them seriously,” Brooks wrote in the NYT.

“House Republicans are the only ones to put forward and pass a real plan that will create a better environment for private-sector job growth by stopping Washington from spending money it doesn’t have and preventing tax hikes on families and small businesses,” said John Boehner in a statement.

Really? So how is it that this includes an increase in the debt ceiling?

Meanwhile, this is what Ron Paul had to say in a statement:

I have never voted to raise the federal debt limit, and I have no doubt that we face financial collapse and ruin if we continue to grow our debt. We need to make major spending cuts now, in this budget, and we can no longer afford to allow more deficit spending based on promises of future cuts.

“The CCB act would add $2.4 trillion of new debt to our gargantuan $14.4 trillion debt. CCB would also only cut $111 billion from this year’s budget, allowing a deficit of nearly $1.5 trillion. This is far from the Pledge’s call for ‘substantial’ cuts. And, CCB locks us into current levels of overseas welfare, which will continue to endanger America’s security by forcing us to subsidize other wealthy nations.

See, that’s pretty much where I’m at with this. The debt trap is impossible to get out of, anyone who has gotten trapped in a pay day loan can tell you all about that.

That’s exactly where we are. That’s where we’ve been. And where we’ll continue to be unless we get the debt monkey off our back. I’m not as concerned about subsidizing China’s explosive growth as I am about compromising our national security by letting those assholes at the Fed run the show. We owe them more than we owe China.

So Norquist may be a tax troll and I’m fine with that but this Dog and Pony Debt Show has got to stop, it’s old and it’s not doing us any good.

Anyone got a better plan?

CPA Exam Marketing, You’re Kind of Doing It Wrong

I don’t say this to be mean, I say this to be helpful I swear. I noticed something sketchy about this Becker marketing campaign.

Apparently they have a Posterous (news to me) and share CPA exam tips. That part sounds awesome but somehow it fails in the execution. Here’s what I mean:

Did you know that the sections of the CPA Exam have different time allotments?

You can use as much of the time allotted to complete each section as you like. The testing computer screen displays a countdown of the time you have left. As you practice, it’s important to learn how to budget your time wisely, so you don’t find yourself scrambling at the end to finish.

Sorry but that’s horribly vague. What is that supposed to tell someone about time allotments on the CPA exam? What on Earth is ‘You can use as much of the time allotted to complete each section as you like?’ supposed to mean? Sure you technically can use as much of the time allotted (I’m assuming they mean per section?) but I don’t think that’s a very helpful suggestion to give someone actually trying to pass the CPA exam.

In a different post, they also say “Getting your CPA is a little like getting to Carnegie Hall — it’s all about practice!”

Each post ends with an obvious link to one of their products that is tangentially related to whatever the vague “tip” says.

In fewer words, WTF purpose is this supposed to serve?

Like I said, meant to be useful, I swear.

This EU Guy Really Doesn’t Like the IASB’s New Magical Fair Value Plan

In case you thought the fair value debate was limited to the U.S. circa 2008, think again. A rule you probably haven’t heard of (but will likely see a version of once government debt becomes as much of a pain in the ass here as it has been in Europe) called IFRS 9 (which replaces IAS 39) would allow banks to price some government debt on their books at cost, instead of current awful prices.

Apparently the European Union doesn’t like this idea. EU Internal Market Commissioner Michel Barnier told a webcast meeting in New York this week “I do not believe this will be the first solution to the problems we face in Europe at the moment,” referring to IFRS 9‘s creative interpretation of “fair value.” Ironically, IFRS 9 accomplishes this feat by eliminating available for sale and held-to-maturity classifications for bonds, leaving only amortized cost and fair value.

IASB Chairman Hans Hoogervorst insists this plan is really only the suck less option, not some sort of magical accounting trick that will suddenly make Greece solvent and Irish banks healthy. “Under IFRS 9 impairments will still be painful but I am convinced it would be more timely done because the cliff effect is much less severe,” he said at a recent joint meeting of the IASB’s trustees and monitoring board of public officials, including Michel Barnier.

EU’s Barnier says won’t budge on accounting rule [Reuters]

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me You Can Earn Gold and Silver Medals on the CPA Exam?!

OK, this is new to me. I’ll admit I don’t know everything about the CPA exam but I try to keep up on as much as I can without actually subjecting myself to that level of masochism. With the deepest respect to those of you who do subject yourselves to that as always, I assure you.

Anyway, what’s this about getting medals for CPA exam scores?! Why didn’t anyone tell me this?

From the Oklahoma State Spears School of Business:

When she received a gold medal for her scores on the Certified Public Accountant exam, Lauren Gorman saw the result that made all of her hard work pay off. Gorman, who is working on her doctorate in accounting, said the award was important in a number of ways. “Receiving the gold medal was important to me because it recognized all of the hard work and months of studying I put into the exam,” Gorman said. “My brother, Ryan Gorman, earned the silver medal on the exam, so I also enjoyed beating him and receiving the gold.” Gorman’s brother took the exam a few years ago. Out of the thousands of students who take the CPA exam, only those who complete all four parts of the exam within one or two testing windows and earn a high score are awarded medals, according to a Spears School of Business press release. Three Oklahoma State University accounting students received the honors. Lauren Gorman and Anne-Marie Lelkes earned gold medals, and Dawn Kruckeberg earned silver.

Correct me if I’m wrong but I think they are referring to the Elijah Watt Sells medals, which isn’t at all clear in the article. A gold medal means A) you studied way too hard and B) you beat out every other candidate testing that year. It also means that you took the exam back when it was paper and pencil, as I’m pretty sure they eliminated the medals post-2004, am I totally wrong?

Prior to the computerized exam, the AICPA would award gold, silver and bronze medals to the top three performers on the CPA exam. When the exam went computerized, thereby allowing more flexibility in testing, they changed it to give the award to 10 of the highest scores in the country each year. To qualify, candidates must score in the very very high 90s on the first attempt (no retakes). Winners receive a plaque and the recognition that comes with being a bad ass high performer (even though no one asks what you got on the exam anyway).

So really… what medals are we talking about? Oh, duh, the Oklahoma State Society of CPAs issues them. It would help if the article mentioned that, I got all excited for a minute there.

Anyway, congratulations and all that.

Freaky Fraud: The Woman Who Stole $110,000 in Bull Semen From Her Employer

First, if you hate your inventory counts, can you only imagine what it’s like to have to keep tabs on tank after tank of frozen bull semen? Count your blessings, people.

A woman in Ohio pleaded not guilty last week to stealing a tank of bull semen valued at $110,000 from her employer. Authorities say 45 year-old Karen Saum planned to use the semen to extort money out of her employer – the rightful owner of the sperm – to start her own business. I can only imagine what kind of business she planned on starting with the seed money.

Detectives said a tip led them to Saum’s garage, where they found the stolen semen. Just a tip.

Det. James Hollopeter told WHIO TV that Saum used her knowledge of the company’s internal workings to lift only the high quality semen. “She knew where this semen would have been located,” he said. “It was actually locked in an interior closet because it was more valuable that some of the other that they had out.”

Right. Because everyone knows you don’t leave the good shit lying around where any old creepy criminal can get their paws on it.

Turns Out You Don’t Have to Go to a “Real” College to Do Well on the CPA Exam

The great thing about accounting is that unlike law, you don’t have to go to a top school to have a successful career. While it helps to be in front of Big 4 recruiters at the major accounting schools if that’s the route you want to take, here’s a little proof that you can easily get through the CPA exam even if your educational background is comprised solely of community college. At least in Texas.

The Texas State Board of Accountancy recently released its list of top CPA exam pass rates among Texas colleges and universities and it turns out a community college is among the University of Texas and Texas A&M.

The University of Texas at Austin had a 75 percent pass rate (it is unclear if that is a first-time pass rate or what) while the Austin Community College came in 10th with 53 percent. Other schools on the list were Texas A&M, Baylor University and Texas Tech.

ACC was the only community college to make the list. Their CPA program currently has about 400 students.

ACC Dean of Business Studies David Quinn told KUT News that ACC has made the list every year except one since the school became accredited in 2002.

“I’m very proud of our faculty and our students in our professional accounting program,” he said. “They’ve proven time and time again that they can do as good of a job as the best universities in the State of Texas.”

If you’re interested, you can dig through the results from the TX Board here.